50/50 Custody Plans

I've been looking around for a good 50/50 plan and came up with a solution that my STBX will hopefully grab onto also. It's centered around giving each parent equal time with/without custody. It takes into account that daytimes are spent either at school or in daycare, with most of the hand-off happening going to or from school/daycare.

Me: Mon PM - Wed AM

Her: Wed PM - Fri AM

Me: Fri PM - Sun PM

Her: Sun PM - Wed AM

Me: Wed PM - Fri AM

Her: Fri PM - Mon AM

----repeat----

Basically, it rotates the weeks the weekends and days of the week. I'd have her the first half, she gets the second half, I get the weekend. Then she gets her the first half, I get her the second half, She gets the weekend. Holidays/special alternating also. It is slightly skewed to her, as I have weekly Sunday night plans. For special situations/holidays, Sundays can also be changed.

I've heard it called the 2-2-3 plan, and wondering if anyone uses this with success?

If the children are old enough to do alternating, week long intervals at both parents house, I think it would be more stable and less confusing for the kids.

That would be simpler for everyone I think, but she's only 5 years old. Even during long weekends (3-4 days) she's always asking when she gets to see the other parent.

I just stopped by the lawyers office on my lunch break to pay the retaining fee and they had already started to write up the paperwork. I mentioned the 2-2-3 schedule and we wrote it up then and there. I got to proof read the entire parenting plan and everything is looking good. Now I wait for the irate phone call when she gets her copy...

How does this work out financially? Does anyone pay custody, who buys the essentials like school clothes. How do you organise stuff like doctors & dentists.

What would be the arrangements for Christmas & holidays? Who makes the decisions on medical / school stuff.

Also what would be the arrangements with toys / books / clothes - would you have 2 of everything or drag it back and forth (leave it in school when you drop her off?)

I am really just curious because these are the things I couldn't envisage working out with my ex when it was mentioned although a friend of mine does ok on this arrangement with her ex. Her kids are older though and they are both very well off so...two of everything!

That would be simpler for everyone I think, but she's only 5 years old. Even during long weekends (3-4 days) she's always asking when she gets to see the other parent.

 

I just stopped by the lawyers office on my lunch break to pay the retaining fee and they had already started to write up the paperwork. I mentioned the 2-2-3 schedule and we wrote it up then and there. I got to proof read the entire parenting plan and everything is looking good. Now I wait for the irate phone call when she gets her copy...

Your right, it probably would be too long to alternate every other week for a 5 year old.

The only pitfalls that I can think of for the 2-2-3 schedule would be the possible confusion for the 5 year old as to which day she'd be spending with either parent since it would be changing all throughout the week, every week. Making plans in advance may be difficult with this type of schedule, for the child and the parents.

Perhaps if only the Fri-Sat-Sun weekends were alternated and Mon-Tues was set with one parent and Wed-Thurs was set with the other parent it would be less confusing for her during school. Even though it would still be longer intervals, at least the child would know where she's going to be on certain days of the week. I dunno.

Hopefully, in the future, you and your ex will be able to work together and agree to change the schedule if your daughter doesn't do well with whatever the two of you decide to do on the original parenting plan and schedule. As long as the focus is on the best interests of the child, she'll do great. Good luck!

Everything has always been 50/50 with my exH regarding the kids. Our plan is 5-5-2-2:.

These are overnights over a two-week period where we always have the same two weeknights and alternate weekends:

Him (2 nights) Mon-Tue

Her (2 nights) Wed-Thurs

Him (5 nights) Fri-Sun, Mon-Tue

Her (5 nights) Wed-Thurs, Fri-Sun

We take turns paying for clothes, school supplies, field trips, but we stopped really keeping track after the first couple of years. It is pretty even, and open, and we get along and are both fair about things.

The schedule is flexible, we move around the weekends sometimes, depending on our own activities. Having the same weeknights every week is important so I can do my thing every Tues night, and he can do his every Wed as an example.

So far so good after 4 1/2 years.

Just wanted to share this..

Someone I know was telling me about their 50/50 plan a couple of days ago. Essentially Mom has the kids monday through to friday evening, then Dad moves back into the family home Friday through to Monday or Tuesday. Neither partner wanted the children exposed to alternative partners (which both have).. and apparently this has been working for nearly three years! Dad keeps much of his belongings in the home and they have maintained very steady parenting of their children... who are lovely lovely girls.

Not heard of anything like that before!

I must admit that I was surprised when they broke up because they were such a lovely couple. All financial duties are arranged amicably too.. no child support agency involvement at all.

Thats committment.

Take care,

Eve xx

My exH and I have a 50/50 plan in place (or close) that works beautifully. Keep in mind that we live in the same school district. Kids are 6 and 8.

Sunday from 6pm through Wed at 3:30 - Kids are with me.

Wednesday from 3:30 through Friday afternoon - Kids are with him. I pick them up from school on Friday.

Friday Night - kids are with me

Saturday night - kids are with him

We've been at this for 2 years now so I can attest to it's success!! Good luck.!

If the children are old enough to do alternating, week long intervals at both parents house, I think it would be more stable and less confusing for the kids.

i am not a fan of the alternating schedule, i think that actually sucks. i think it is probably better to have a close to as possible 50/50 schedule with both parents seeing the kids almost every day. it would be great if you two worked 2 diff. shifts and one was responsible for while the other was at work. even during school times one parent would be responsible for school stuff while the other would care for the kids when they are not in school. it would work perfectly.

i do understand the want and need for both parents to want a 50/50 split so if it can work for you and the other parent then i say great, just as long as it doesn't disrupt the kids too much.

i am not a fan of the alternating schedule, i think that actually sucks. i think it is probably better to have a close to as possible 50/50 schedule with both parents seeing the kids almost every day. it would be great if you two worked 2 diff. shifts and one was responsible for while the other was at work. even during school times one parent would be responsible for school stuff while the other would care for the kids when they are not in school. it would work perfectly.

 

i do understand the want and need for both parents to want a 50/50 split so if it can work for you and the other parent then i say great, just as long as it doesn't disrupt the kids too much.

I didn't mean that a child should go a whole week without seeing either of their parents. I just meant that I think it's important for the child to know whose house they will be sleeping at. I'm sorry that my post wasn't clear about that. I agree that seeing or at least talking to both parents every day is what's best for children, if both of the parents are responsible parents.

You seem to have this all worked out. Did you just need some reassurance?

Things have always been really nasty between my ex and I and now with us being 800 miles apart, my children are with me for 6 weeks, then him for 2 weeks, with adjustments made for holidays, summertime. My kids are 3 and 4.

While I'm sure this isn't the easiest arrangement, my children are doing surprisingly well. Kids are extremely adaptable. I'm a fan of the every other week with one day in the middle to spend a couple hours with the other parent. It's less back and forth for the child and ultimately, more stability in an unfortunate situation.

Best of luck to you.