Dating more than one girl

Would girls like it if guys are honest that they are seeing more than one girl, or not mention it and act like it's no big deal?

Would girls like it if guys are honest that they are seeing more than one girl, or not mention it and act like it's no big deal?

Lots of girls seem to not like it when a guy they're dating (even in the very beginning) has other options (e.g. other girls he's dating.) As a result, I see no advantage in bringing up the topic unless she does. Just be honest if she asks.

Of course, if you two start getting hot & heavy & it's clear she's starting to fall for you, you'll either need to let her know and/or cut loose the other girls. Of course, only do that if she's worth it. Otherwise, you should just slow things down with her.

Would girls like it if guys are honest?

Yes! Honestly

Would girls like it if guys are honest that they are seeing more than one girl, or not mention it and act like it's no big deal?

Well, for instance, blue..if you were dating a girl and she never told you honestly that she was seeing other guys... how would you feel?

I know I wouldn't like it.

*******Had a problem posting. Forget my post above******

Well, for instance, blue..if you were dating a girl and she never told you honestly that she was seeing other guys... how would you feel?

 

I know I wouldn't like it.

 

I wouldn't care that much; I'd expect the kind of girls I date to have lots of offers anyway. In fact it'd be kind of cool. If we're both seeing other people at the start & end up together as an exclusive relationship down the road, then that means we've got something pretty good going.

I think it is good to be completely honest as long as it's brought up in the right way. Besides the fact that it lets the girl know that you're willing to be open with her (serious brownie points in my books), but it also keeps her on her toes, and if she really wants things to go anywhere, she knows there's competition and she really needs to step it up.

It can also give you an indication if she's going to be overly jealous and clingy. Probably not what you're looking for.

I wouldn't care that much; I'd expect the kind of girls I date to have lots of offers anyway. In fact it'd be kind of cool. If we're both seeing other people at the start & end up together as an exclusive relationship down the road, then that means we've got something pretty good going.

I see what you are saying, MD. That would work out for a couple weeks or so, with me...then, the s*** would hit the fan!

I would rather the guy have lots of girls chasing him...but, land with me *exclusively* right out the gate. Did have that happen to me before.

After I met my kid's dad, the girls from his town would confront me and say,"we've been trying to get him to settle down for years, and then you come along..hmpff! How did that happen?".

I just replied, " 'cause I'm the best b*tch! "

I would rather the guy have lots of girls chasing him...but, land with me *exclusively* right out the gate. Did have that happen to me before.

 

After I met my kid's dad, the girls from his town would confront me and say,"we've been trying to get him to settle down for years, and then you come along..hmpff! How did that happen?".

 

I just replied, " 'cause I'm the best b*tch! "

Props to the best bitch in town.

I think it kind of sucks though when a girl demands exclusivity right from the start. I remember now my ex ex brought it up like on date #2. It wasn't an issue because I wasn't seeing anyone else at the time. It was an issue down the line because she ended up being super possessive. She'd get mad at me when she thought a girl was checking me out. I'm thinking, "Well what do you want me to do about it?"

Props to the best bitch in town.

 

I think it kind of sucks though when a girl demands exclusivity right from the start. I remember now my ex ex brought it up like on date #2. It wasn't an issue because I wasn't seeing anyone else at the time. It was an issue down the line because she ended up being super possessive. She'd get mad at me when she thought a girl was checking me out. I'm thinking, "Well what do you want me to do about it?"

Demanding exclusivity is a no no, especially on date #2.

I can see where that would be a red-flag for issues down the line, MD. When a girl would just check you out? How is that your fault? Dang.

In my instance, when I first started dating him, I had no idea how popular he was back in his home town. When he took me back there to live for awhile, I had all this attitude from the girls! (I was only 21) A couple of his *groupies* kept getting all up in my kool-aid!

Made me feel pretty damn special! Years down the road, he turned out to be an abusive, drug user, and I left his sorry ass.

Those girls can have him back!

Would girls like it if guys are honest that they are seeing more than one girl, or not mention it and act like it's no big deal?

Dating while still in the casual, getting-to-know-each-other stage is totally cool. It's really best to keep your options open as long as you're both open and honest about what's going on. Especially if she asks straight out, tell her. Lying won't win you any points, and sneaking around sucks anyways. Until exclusivity is discussed and things start to get serious, you're still a free agent.

Where sex is involved is where it gets sticky -- more often than not, at least one of the parties involved will start to get emotionally attached. If you're dating around and having sex -- definitely be up front about this. The girl might not like to hear it, but it's only fair to have all the information up front so she can decide for herself if she's cool with it or not. You don't want the drama of having her think she's your one and only and dealing with the fallout when she finds out otherwise. Plus, think about health issues and using protection consistently.

I think it kind of sucks though when a girl demands exclusivity right from the start. I remember now my ex brought it up like on date #2.

That's way too soon. I mean, at date #2 there's no way I would even really know the guy and what he's all about at that point, so how would I know that he's worth being exclusive with? Were you both really young at the time?

When my husband and I started dating (LDR), he didn't want to be exclusive in the first 3 months. That bothered me a lot and the only thing that kept us together was that he said he didn't date anyone else. When we got married, I saw some emails from that period and I was VERY, VERY upset. While he was calling me "baby" and talked to me for hours every night, he was making arrangements to meet up with other women.

Thank god I saw the pics of those women and they were all ugly so he wasn't interested apparently. He met one woman in Starbucks for a cup of coffee and I don't want to imagine what would've happened if they both liked each other (I don't know if he liked her, but I saw her email where she says she wasn't interested in him after the first date).

This is not standing between us, I don't care now that I know how much he loves me, plus we've been exclusive since December 2004, but I think it's very sleazy to date more than one person and I wouldn't even go there. Had I seen those emails at the time, I would've certainly broken up with him.

Thank god I didn't.

ya this post was made last night when me and this girl decided that we were gonna go out, but I was also in the process of meeting up with a couple other girls in the near future. I was debating on whether I should tell her about this or not, or just not bring it up.

Anyways, I wanted to go out with her but I'm picking up on a very clingy/jealous vibe from her which I don't like. We haven't even met in person yet and already she is texting me often, and just the overall feel is that she is way too into this. I just wanted to hang out sometime for fun, and maybe see where it goes. But she's almost acting like we're bf/gf so it's kind of scaring me off. Apparently lots of other guys msg her on the site, so she is somewhat desireable and she is really cool and seems like fun, but now I almost don't want to go out with her because she is way too clingy.

Well, ...blue? What are you messing around with that myspace chic in your other post if you got all these girls lined up? I was starting to feel sorry for ya.

I pegged you all wrong. You just a heartbreaker!

Well, ...blue? What are you messing around with that myspace chic in your other post if you got all these girls lined up? I was starting to feel sorry for ya.

 

I pegged you all wrong. You just a heartbreaker!

lol hey if you really wanted to go out with a guy (no matter what 2nd options you had) and he was giving vague responses i'm sure you would be disappointed too

lol hey if you really wanted to go out with a guy (no matter what 2nd options you had) and he was giving vague responses i'm sure you would be disappointed too

Yea, I know. Just messin' with ya'. Have had a couple beers already tonight. (dang, they don't have a drinkin' smilie! I am seriously getting tired of the choice of smilies we have!!!)

Yea, I know. Just messin' with ya'. Have had a couple beers already tonight. (dang, they don't have a drinkin' smilie! I am seriously getting tired of the choice of smilies we have!!!)

So you like to get drunk and make fun of young guys on loveshack?

So you like to get drunk and make fun of young guys on loveshack?

It's the 21st century. Why go to the club & have to get dressed up, drive, etc. when you can do the same thing (get drunk & make fun of guys) via the net. It's much more efficient.

So you like to get drunk and make fun of young guys on loveshack?

Haha! Not drunk! Just loosened up a bit. ~

Jeeeez luvtoto, don't give them any amunition to use against you sweety!

Jeeeez luvtoto, don't give them any amunition to use against you sweety!

Lock & load.

Lock & load.

:lmao:

Well I've always happily gone out for drinks/lunch/dinner with friends who are girls but when it comes to someone I'm really attracted to I probably wouldn't spend time with different girls. Maybe I'm wrong but if I like a girl it's because I see her as potentially the one I want to spend my life with. I know what you're thinking this sounds way too heavy so let me clarify!

I only like girls that I think have a potential to be long term - so I want to take time to get to know them and all that. Mainly my problem is a lack of confidence or not being sure what the next move is! I think it'd be wrong for me to have several girls who I had romantic feelings for because it would almost be like a process of elimination and maybe I'd just end up with the best of the bunch but would I be happy? What if someone else came along who I suddenly "rated higher"?

In my mind having too many options just makes us compare and contrast girls. I would like to think that we will ALL find a soul mate out there and they will be the right one for us. I know it's possible to be attracted to many girls but in the long term physical attraction doesn't mean anything compared to finding the right person.

I know I'm not really answering the question because it all depends how you feel about the girl and different people have different ideas on exclusivity. If my "future girlfriend" was seeing other people well I might not be happy but I'd hope that she'd feel more for me. Who knows it might feel nice being "special" but the again I could be jealous depends on the circumstances and a persons coping mechanisms.

Well i didn't bother replying to the girl giving vague responses, i'm going out with the girl who is obviously interested. She seemed a little bit clingy at first but she has backed off a little and she seems really cool. No point wasting my time with girls who probably aren't interested anyway when there is a great girl that wants to get together. I'm seeing her on wednesday, and to be honest i could care less about the other girls at the moment lol. Hopefully i didn't put all my eggs in the wrong basket

Sounds promising. I hope it goes well for you Blue - you aren't putting your eggs in one basket, you are making sure you don't give yourself away in emotional pieces to lots of girls. What you are doing is healthy and a good basis for a relationship. Take care!