The Second chance Story from the OTHER side. This will hellp you

So I was trolling through some places online, and I came about this story.

Its made me see things in a totally different light.

Seriously, read this and start putting things in perspective.

My ex feels the same way as this girl does when she broke up.

HAPPY!!

''I dumped him... and now I want him back! Anyone have a similar story?? I'm desperate with guilt!!

I'm SO sad and desperate with guilt!! I really want him back... but I don't know if I should simply be moving on!! A friend advised me here, so well, maybe someone can help?? Here is the story:

When I moved away for college I met my ex boyfriend right away and started seriously dating him. We were together for 2.5 years, it was an amazing, healthy relationship, he was the perfect boyfriend, the perfect guy, did everything for me, etc... We didn't fight, my family loved him, we were together from 18-21.

I've very casually dated other people before, but he was my first (and only) REAL boyfriend. So, after almost 3 years together, I got bored. I needed more excitement in my life, I wanted to meet other people, basically, I wasn't (or at least I thought so) in love anymore. I didn't enjoy spending time alone with him, or kissing him...etc... However, we still got along great and were best friends. 6 months before I got the courage to break-up I had gone to a summer program at UCLA for 2 months and had just experienced being alone and meeting other people (actually "falling" for another guy), which was the catalyst to me wanting to break-up with the perfect boyfriend since it didn't feel right that I could feel attracted to a new guy, even if I was in a new country.

It was VERY scary to be brave and break-up because I was SO used to having him and his family around, specially since I' not from the city we live in and he is... We used to do everything together, he was my anchor. However, I was very determined to try new things and ended up putting an end in our relationship almost 1 year ago. I just felt like it was the right thing to do, as I could just damage our perfect relationship if I kept dragging it.

For the first months, I was COMPLETELY happy with my new life. It was just what I had wanted, going out to parties, meeting different people, I live in a huge city (Sao Paulo) so it was great to experience the city with my friends. I'm not wild so I was just pretty much having fun with my friends and not doing anything bad. I knew my BF still really loved me and was having a hard time with the break-up, but he didn't really show it because he is VERY proud and is not the type of guy to chase someone. Also, he thought we were just having a break and that we'd be back together soon enough. For me, however, we were pretty much over, I didn't think about him at all. It was VERY weird.

Finally, four months later he started to try to contact me and I learnt from some friends in common that he was actually quite sad because he had finally realized that we were actually over for good and that he couldn't live expecting to get back together. I was honest and told him he should move on since for now, I had no plans of getting back together. It was very friendly and caring and honest.

Almost one month after that, one of his good friends who was dating my best guy friend told me he was almost in a relationship with a new girl. I don't know what hit me then and there but everything started to change. At first, I really believed I was only jealous and scared of losing him for good, but the more I contacted him and realized he was really trying to move on the more I grew desperate. As much as he tried to show a cold front, I knew he was very confused but still uncertain of what my real intentions were. And so was I. Because of that, I tried to see another person and let him alone for a few weeks. However, I could NOT get him out of my mind and we kept meeting up and talking on the phone and through e-mails. Finally, one day, on his one-month official anniversary with the other girl he came over to talk and we ended up kissing. He initiated it and was very passionate and it surprised me how much I actually enjoyed kissing him.

After that night, it was the biggest emotional roller coaster ever. He couldn't decide what to do. He kept seeing me, told me he had broken up with the girl, but that still didn't know if he wanted to be with me. Weeks later I found out he was with her and with me at the same time trying to figure things out, but he was official with her, and I got really mad and told him it was finally over. When I said that, he decided to break-up with the girl for good. I gave him two days, he finally broke up with her for real.

The weekend after, we went to the beach with ALL of his family (his parents didn't even know who his other girlfriend was) and we had a very good time. We were very much in love. We had some ups and downs after that, mainly him being a little cold and not wanting to commit 100% and me being paranoid because he had lied to me about seeing the girl but everyone (family, friends) knew we were together. We spent new years with our friends since it seemed to be best at the time and decided to become official (or break up for good) after that. He went to a huge beach city in the south of the country (Brazil), I went to Los Angeles with friends. We spoke on the phone everyday like bf/gf.

When he came back he went over and I asked if he had spoken to the girl and he said, oh she was actually there. That was NOT a big deal because in Sao Paulo there are basically 3 places people go for new years and SO many people we know went to his beach city. However, after REALLY REALLY REALLY digging I got him to confess he kissed the girl 2 days after new years. I was SO mad, cried, etc... he told me he was drunk and didn't mean anything. In the end, we had a big argument and decided to have lunch the next day.

During lunch and then dinner, I was being very annoying because I was SO mad... I mean it was SO hard to get past that before and he just brought it all back. It's like he actually loved having two girls after him... he used to say it was horrible and he really hated the situation, clearly, he didn't. The girl KNEW about him getting back together with me and kissed him too so I don't know what's up with that either specially since she sent e-mails to him saying about how she hated us. Anyways, the point is, he said we were fighting too much and we should give eachother space.

At first I was on top of the situation, we met at a bar on friday and he was very sweet to me, flirty, etc... sending me texts. On monday, we exchanged e-mails but at night I called him and just cried and cried about how he lied, and promised we would get back, got my hopes up and then just kissed the girl and didn't want to get back together because was still unsure. It was very intense and basically he decided we should just give eachother space.

I "survived" 12 days without contacting him. That was probably my biggest mistake. I learnt from friends in common that he went to a graduation party and the girl was there too and that just through me up the wall and I called. It was wrong because I did A LOT of chasing last year, I was the one who called him all the time and chased. It was the time. I broke up, I wanted him back, I needed to prove that to him. But after he kissed the girl AGAIN I should have let him chase me. However, I just COULD not NOT contact him.

When I finally contacted him he said we should talk on Monday. I was very firm on putting a strong front and saying ok, he wants it to be over, I'm ok. However, I had A LOT of hope he'd want to be together since for months he COULD NOT end things with me. This time, however, he told me was really ready to have some space and that he didn't think he loved me in the gf/bf way anymore. (He still could NOT resist kissing me and was very surprised on how much he was attracted to me). I cried a lot and he was SO lovely and SO worried and put me to bed and said that I was the most important person in his life but that he just wanted to be alone and try other things. I said I wouldn't accept if he was with the other girl but then I said that I would try to accept his choices. I wrote him a beautiful e-mail and we were on good terms.

I was DEVASTATED because I knew we were over. I ended up e-mailing him because I could NOT do the no contact thing and he would e-mail me back and be an absolute sweetheart to me. Helping me with work issues and what not. On Friday I came home (I live in another city) and my best friend called me saying she had just seen him in a party in Sao Paulo WITH the girl!! Gosh, I was SO mad!!! We "broke-up" Monday and he couldn't even WAIT to parade with the girl? I really believe he had NO idea my very best friend would be at that same place, he is always SO unlucky but still!! I called him and screamed and told him to forget everything because he had died for me and I didn't awknowledge his existence or what we had anymore. I'm SO upset guys because this girl is a [COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR] and NOT his type!! He always said he hated girls who drink, smoke and have had SO many boyfriends and she's exactly like that!!! What is he doing with her?? He told me he's not officially with her but still, ugh, he's SO selfish why does he has to be with one, than chose the other, then go back to the one?? Seriously!!!!! Now I NEED to do the NO CONTACT!! I NEED HELP!!

I know I should try and move on but I STILL WANT HIM BACK because I KNOW I WAS THE ONE WHO LET HIM GO LAST YEAR!!! I NEED TO STOP CONTACTING HIM AND MAKE SURE HE IS GOING TO LOSE ME THIS TIME!! OR SHOULD I SIMPLY MOVE ON? PLEASE HELP I'M SO SAD!! I CAN'T stop thinking about how last year he was SO hurt and wanted me and now I'm in this situation! Why did I let him go???? Why??

Part 2:

I hope everyone that replied to my post, some negatively, will read what I have to say here:

I'm sorry if I sound spoiled or selfish, but I really have some explaining to do that goes beyond the "shallow" I dumped him, I want him back title!

First of all, how somebody said I am not thinking about him and his feelings, but this is just ALL I have been doing. I cannot forgive myself to have put him through this last year. It is KILLING ME. It's the hardest to accept and to cope. All I know is that I was 21 and I just wanted to live something else. Selfish, horrible, and I regret that 100%! I'm living in a constant state of regret that is enabling me. All I can do is think about how he reached out to me last year and how I really did NOT care about him. I didn't dump him because of a new guy. I have met the guy 6 months before that and he was in another country. I didn't get with this guy. We didn't have a chance. I dumped him because of how much I missed feeling "in love" and "alive" and being 21 and having fun. I also broke things off because of the guilt of feeling something for someone else, which at the time, meant to me that I didn't love him enough. Was is shallow reasons? YES. Do I regret it everyday of my life for the past 4-6 months?? Hell yes!! Can I take it back?? Can I take it back that I had been in a serious almost married relationship from 18-21 and that scared me to death?? The fact that I might not live other things scared me??? The fact that I was sabotaging our relationship because I wasn't into it anymore?? Gosh, it hurts to go over this and understand my motives but I was NOT being selfish. I was trying to be true to my feelings. I was taking a risk. I was letting the best person in the world go because I didn't think he deserved what I could and was giving him at the time.

For months I let him move on. I NEVER disrespected him! I didn't get with ANYONE. I was just being single and having fun with MY friends. No other person involved. On the times he reached out to me (sending red roses to my city on my birthday with the most beautiful letter, inviting me to go out for valentine's day, or simply saying he missed me) I TOLD him to move on. I honestly BELIEVED that was what I wanted. It's NOT simple to rationalize, I have NO idea why I felt that way. It hurts too much to remember WHY I felt SO indifferent back then.

When I realized he was starting to move on with this girl I honestly didn't think it would end how it did. However, the more we hung out, the more I reached out to him, the more I realized I could lose him for good, the MORE I started falling in love all over again. I didn't calculate it. I really DID start loving this man again. Of course that the feeling "of losing him" might have triggered it, but NOW I am SURE that I love him. I would be ready to let go of anything, all my dreams and goals, to be with him again. I'm very ambitious and going to business school next year in a top 5 school in the US but I would give that up for him. Ironically, this fact was making me want to break up with him because when I started applying to schools he wasn't supportive.

I understand why most people in my post seem to be on my boyfriend's size. It's a typical case of, ha, tast your OWN medicine. However, everyone who has seen me going through this understand why I'm devastated. He tagged me along for too long. He broke me. He made me lose it.

He give me SO much hope! He made the choice, he dumped the girl, 3 months ago because he wanted to give us a chance. But he NEVER truly did!!! I know he was confused because I suddenly came back to his life, and I came back full force, without giving him ANY space. However, ultimately, it was HIS choice to tell me things like "I've been seeing this girl for 2 months but I still don't think I forgot the woman I love" or "We know who's going to suffer in this story (meaning the girl" or when we were in the beach we were COMPLETELY in love and happy and I saw it in his face and he told me "This is crazy, this feeling, it's different than anything else, it's love, I'm crazy about you"... and he was SO happy. Of course that he had moments when he was confused and I know he was and might still be scared but there were moments where he absolutely loved me. The way he held me, the way he seemed unable to let me go.

He played with me too you know? I know it was NOT his intention, he was confused, but he made me suffer too! Just before new years we were SO together and happy and exchanged xmas gifts and his parents called me to thank the gifts I gave them and we were very hopeful for the new year and for what we could be again. He hadn't wanted to commit before new years but he give me EVERY reason to believe we would try when we got back!

It hurt me SO much when he came over and I realized he had kissed the girl. Seriously, we suffered for 4 months and when he decided to try again with me he just goes back to her??? While calling me EVERY day and acting like he missed me??? On the NEXT day he e-mailed me saying we would probably get back together but he needed a little more time. I was UNABLE to give him time or space because I kept listening about how the girl was after him and how he might be seeing the girl behind my back!! He lied about seeing her. Then he finally told me things wouldn't work out because he wasn't into getting back together with me and 5 days later is all couply with the girl on a party with a lot of my friends??? Where's the respect for me??

The point is, I know I'm probably MORE in the wrong and I made SO many mistakes because I let him go but what he has been doing to me these past months have been heartbreaking. He gave me hope and took it back, then gave me hope again... and he lied SO much about this other girl. I NEVER, ever, EVER lied to him when I wanted my space. I honestly did let him go. These months, however, whenever I said I was going to move on he would NOT let me and would give me hope again.

Then, when we were finally getting back, he just pulls it away from me again??? He tries with the girl and is like, ok I love you, I don't want her. Then, he tries with me and is like, ok, I don't think I love you, lies, lies, lies and then is ALREADY with the girl again? 5 days after?? After basically cheating on me by kissing her while we were together in new years??

Am I such a bad person here that nothing he did to me is wrong because I was the one who let him go initially? Do I have to live with this guilt forever?? Can't I feel like, maybe, he messed up now and HE might lose a girl like me, just like I risked losing him in the past? Would I be with him today if when he came back on Jan 6th I hadn't MENTIONED this girl and my insecurities?? Would I be with him now if I had been NC after that???Would I have more chances if I hadn't call him on Friday saying that I could NOT believe what he was doing??I know I have to move on, but I can't right now. I still believe in this love. Should I send him a text apologizing for acting out and then going NC starting tomorrow or should I stay NC with the whole "you are dead for me, don't count on me anymore"? We've never been broken up with me mad at him. I would ALWAYS forgive. What is more effective, the NC with he believing I'm SO upset and mad and really don't want to see him again or the NC "sorry, I need time away from you, but I still care about you deeply and understand why you did what you did"...''

So there you have it folks, I think this story from a dumper should help some of you, if not most of you if you are my position and fighting a losing battle.

Its helped me realise that there is no way I will be getting back with my ex.

Thanks for posting soul bear. Was interesting to read from dumpers perspective

Sounds similar to my situation. My ex says she is happy now. But im under no false illusions. She quite possibly is happy now that we are over. I dont expect or think she will feel the way this person does. And whats done is done, there can be no going back for me

No offense meant at all..but, you seriously need to move on from your ex! Looks to me that you're spending valuable healing time on the net looking for a glimmer of hope. Your girl has moved on! Let her go and find someone else. Again, no offense but, you're the reason i registered here. For all the "how you,yourself felt at the time" advice you were giving. I'm starting to think this site has you over thinking your situation..seems pretty cut and dry to me.. She left for another, you constantly try to keep contact to get zero affection back..let it go! Shes GONE!

No offense meant at all..but, you seriously need to move on from your ex! Looks to me that you're spending valuable healing time on the net looking for a glimmer of hope. Your girl has moved on! Let her go and find someone else. Again, no offense but, you're the reason i registered here. For all the "how you,yourself felt at the time" advice you were giving. I'm starting to think this site has you over thinking your situation..seems pretty cut and dry to me.. She left for another, you constantly try to keep contact to get zero affection back..let it go! Shes GONE!

Its helped me realise that there is no way I will be getting back with my ex.

And

Mate, no offence, but you have to remember that every situation is different!! Things could have swung either way for me at one point.

I would love to say You were the reason I signed up here too, but alas, Im sorry to say it was my ex. She is the reason I signed up here. Dont kid yourself, im sure your ex is the reason your here too, not me

Women tend to do an about face when they realize a man has moved on for good. They want what they can't have. This woman only wants him back because it crushes her ego that he is not sitting there devestated and pining for her.

So true bro.

This story made me realise that im not getting back with my ex. My 'fighting' is a losing battle.

So true bro.

 

This story made me realise that im not getting back with my ex. My 'fighting' is a losing battle.

The only time she will want you back is when you truly are done with her and by that point it won't matter anyway.

Women tend to do an about face when they realize a man has moved on for good. They want what they can't have. This woman only wants him back because it crushes her ego that he is not sitting there devestated and pining for her.

I keep seeing this all over this site. Although I don't think it's necessarily true, do men "tend" to do this as well? Or just women?

Women tend to do an about face when they realize a man has moved on for good. They want what they can't have. This woman only wants him back because it crushes her ego that he is not sitting there devestated and pining for her.

Woggle, for the most part I agree. That said, when women leave men here are the usual events (not always 100% accurate but close).

1. Woman starts to have doubts about her man.

2. Woman starts to talk to other men who have interest in her.

3. Woman starts to build a relationship/attraction to other man.

4. Woman begins pulling away from her current man, slowly.

5. Over weeks, months woman detaches to the point she pulls the trigger and leaves her current man.

6. Woman, completely free of the relationship, starts to date new man. No guilt, no remorse.

7. Dumpee is blindsided, wondering what the hell just happened.

If the dumpee starts dating someone new, there will always be some regret on the dumpers side. That said, there is no guarantee that it will make them jealous or want you back.

SoulBear, this is one example of millions. I would even go so far as to say that this story in particular is VERY rare. The OP is young, wanted to sow her oats and see what else was out there and ended up making a huge mistake. To the dumpees credit, he moved on with his life and found someone else.

It's very rare for a woman to dump a man and have regrets. Women do much more soul searching and discussing with their friends/family members so when they make a decision to leave, it's usually FINAL. It's only when a woman acts like a man and makes a rash decision without thoroughly discussing it with friends/family members that she ends up regretting her decision.

If I had to guess, this is probably less than 1% of the women who dump men....

I don't know whether to be offended or what at the "women feel no regrets" comment. The whole trying to analyze the other gender thing, while common (I have done it myself, but then again, can I use the excuse of being a psychology major? I find them more interesting than a way to cope), it's kind of funny.

But anyway. I don't think it's fair to think that just because women step back, look at the whole picture, talk about it with everyone who'll listen means that we're better suited to not regret a choice we make.

I could think something over and over, talk about it for hours with my best friend, sister, hell... even my dad, and I'll never be 100% sure that what I'm doing is the absolute right thing. Besides, women probably rely on 'gut feeling' more than what they're thinking about.

I could do something that I believed was absolutely the right thing to do and stand by my decision for years to come, but always wonder if that was the right thing to do.

I try my hardest not to regret things because honestly, it just makes life more painful and really won't allow for anyone to move forward fully or at a healthy pace--regardless of genitals and chromosomes. My biggest inspiration for not letting myself regret my actions was the movie The Last Unicorn. (Haha, you know she never knew what regret was until she was human, because those lucky Unicorns couldn't feel regret.)

Women talking about their feelings more openly and freely is probably what makes it appear we don't regret any of our choices. We talk about them and usually, heal or at least shrug our shoulders and decide what's done is done. And even saying just that is a generalization, not all women like to talk about their feelings either.

And, just because I feel like adding this in here...

If you google anything about some psychological disorder or something that's just about the general psychology of humans--I'll bet you a million bucks, unless it's stated somewhere that the sample was based off of x number of women and x number of men... almost all of the data and conclusions is comprised from male patients, samples, whatever.

I never realized it until I was in my Psychopathology class, but most things people (myself included) really know about the whole psychological makeup of women is probably just generalized knowledge and assumptions based off of information that was based off of males.

You need to google about the psycological chemical and biological breaking up.

Studys done on 2000 couples breaking up, men and women, different persona;ity types/body types, lifestyle etc....

There is no set way for the way people break up/reconcile etc. but there is a particular pattern that is followed of the way its done visa vi different personalities etc.

Very interesting, although its all in pdf and some of it hard to follow. Very enlightning either way

People love to say "Every situation is different," but the truth is, human behavior is remarkably predictable.

This is just a woman wanting what she can no longer have. Big deal. Soul Bear, you should know to take a female's account of things with a grain of salt. Notice how SHE is the victim throughout? She acts like she practically did him a favor by dumping him, and look how he repays her.

In any case, when you go NC, part of the reason is to separate yourself from your ex's drama and b.s., so you don't CARE what they're thinking. It's irrelevant.

I have seen it myself to know that this happens. Part of the fun of being a walkaway woman is leaving a man in the dust heartbroken while you go out and live your single life. When a man moves on and doesn't even want a woman anymore it makes her doubt her attractiveness which to many women is number one. They want to beautiful and sexy and when a man doesn't even want them anymore it hurts their ego. It is has little if anything to do with her actually loving the man. Call me sexist but many women don't even know what it is to really love a man in the first place. It's all emotion and how it makes her feel. If she doesn't get that emotional high she is out of there. When a man is out of her reach it gets those emotions flowing and she wants to prove herself again.

Call me sexist but many women don't even know what it is to really love a man in the first place. It's all emotion and how it makes her feel. If she doesn't get that emotional high she is out of there.

Call you sexist? Ok Woggle you're sexist. That comment was a massive sweeping generalisation. Just as many men leave their partners heartbroken when they walk out for the single life as women do.

Call you sexist? Ok Woggle you're sexist. That comment was a massive sweeping generalisation. Just as many men leave their partners heartbroken when they walk out for the single life as women do.

The statistics speak for themselves.

The statistics speak for themselves.

hahaha. What statistics? Please do share or cite sources.

Look, this story is not here to instill false hope. It is here to let people know that 2nd chances do happen. There are way to many negs on this site and its really starting to pis* me off.

I posted this here to show people that usually when they do move on, truly, that things might change, and 2nd chances are possible. Also this is a Dumpers view. Yes, she is playing the victim, as i presume she wrote this AFTER all that she had been through.

At the begining of the story she states that she was HAPPY with her descision.

Im sure this will help some folks, it has helped me to move on in a way.

If I got my 2nd chance I would be damn sure not to play silly games like 'revenge' of this sort.

SB

please note these posts are not to give false hope, but merely to share an example of situations from the leavers, as there are very few on here.

The weird effects of NC...

I don't know if it's NC or not but I know NC changes people's minds a LOT. It got my ex thinking after dumping me the first time...and after 10 days he realized he didn't want to split up with me. Second breakup, more mutual, made us understand how immature we were, breaking up whenever we feel pressured or trapped. This time around, it was kind of mutual, well it felt so because I really needed it, and the last month has been great. Until I hit the 10 day NC mark...and things hit home...

NC is so important, it helps in so many ways...by removing the source of pain from my life...by making me understand what a life without him really means...but it also makes me realize things I didn't know were there. (edit: I have been doing really well the last 3 weeks...still on a bit of a 'high' from finally being single after all these years jumping from relationship to relationship...not by looking for boys or anything...just feeling free and in control of my own time etc..)

I have been thinking about my ex a LOT in the last 3 days. It's been a little over a month since the split, and day 11 of NC. And today I cried for the first time since the break-up. I have been having thoughts of reconciliation. I had a good month before that. But now I just can't really remember why we split up. Yes he's been bad to me but so have i to him. And he's just immature, he's really young and put in a situation that most people his age aren't confronted to until their 30s, 40s. To worsen things he's in the public eye as well.

I miss him, as a friend and a lover. Life just isn't that fun without him. It is still fun - I'm having a great time, but so was I before the split (minus the arguments). I know I will find someone new eventually, and I don't feel worthless or anything... I am very confident in myself, have supportive friends, family, I'm good at what I do... I'm not thinking about him because I'm depressed, I just feel empty without him, but the rest of my life is still great.

I know that if we bumped into each other tomorrow we may be back together by Sunday. It's just how it happens every time. But it doesn't mean I want us to be together again so soon. I'd want him to sort out his career problems, and finances first and I've got other things to sort out as well. I just know we can get back together if I try hard enough, or have patience. And that's what I want, but I'm not sure if that's what I need. I really love him, but I cannot be with him now. We are way too young to be able to keep it together right now. He's out of town half the time, he's constantly working, traveling, meeting people for work, and losing a lot of money at the same time. It's a lot of pressure, and although I loved looking after him, I felt resentful as I felt robbed of my free time, wasn't acting young and carefree anymore...it was too much pressure for both of us.

I will not break NC. It would hurt too much, and I'd have nothing to say. I want to wait until I understand my feelings. But the thoughts of reconciliation have been playing over and over in my head. I can't believe I cried today...

Enjoy Folks. SoulBear

Tori,

Yes, guys do this too. I did it years ago. Was with a great girl for three years. Broke up with her. When I realized she didn't act fazed, was going out, and had met someone else I begged for her back. I did get her back but then broke up with her again. Months later I tried getting her back again but she told me she had moved on. Lesson Learned.

Also I was dumped last summer. After a month of NC she was calling me 3 times a day. I never answered as I was finally DONE.

I was just dumped 2 months ago...I dont think this one is coming back...

Everyone does this, its not about being male or female.

Its about being the leaver or the chaser

EDIT* WOW123 I hope your doing OK bro, keep strong

Once you're split, you're split. Hope is a poisonous thing in this particular arena. Second chances rarely work out, unless there is many years of marriage and kids involved... in other words something outside of the relationship difficulties that make staying together seem like a more sensible idea.

I'm in the middle of a push/pull arrangement with my ex right now. As soon as I withdrew, she felt guilty and is continuing to contact me even though I asked her not to. It drives her insane that I am diligent in my NC... but I know it won't last. Eventually she'll get over it completely, as will I.

Just gonna take some time.

I agree, once your split your split.

But there is nothing stopping, a possible new relationship forming after lessons are learned and matureing is done. Its not unheard of

Either way I wish you all the very best!!

I agree, once your split your split.

But there is nothing stopping, a possible new relationship forming after lessons are learned and matureing is done. Its not unheard of

 

Either way I wish you all the very best!!

The problem is, the learning and maturing happens at a slower pace.. and by the time you've taken what you've needed from the experience, and can really look at it objectively.. that's about the time you've gotten completely over it. Makes sense, right?

Soul Bear,

Thanks, I was a mess yesterday but feel okay today on 2 weeks plus of NC. I don't believe once its over its over forever. Feelings change when you're in and out of a relationship. We shouldn't hang on to hope but if they're was nothing unforgivable that happened such as cheating you never know what could happen in the future. I have a friend that was in an on/off again relationship for years with her bf. She just married him and she told me he is the love of her life and she is so happy.