If you could change the past would you?

HI, Its just a quick question,IF YOU COULD CHANGE THE PAST WOULD YOU? Would you change meeting them? Anything you did with them??? Lets see what everyone would do.

Maybe at the moment I'm just feeling falsely idealistic, but I'd have to say no. I feel like life put me through this for a reason. I have learned so much and become a better person.

Sure it would be easy to come up with a list of things I could change about the past, I'm sure I could still be with her if a few events had gone differently, but I think there was a purpose in everything that happened.

I dont know if i would change meeting him...but i would change a lot of my actions. I would not put up with all the crap he dished out. I would not forgive time and time again. I would have been stronger earlier so he would not take advantage of me. Yes i would change the past!! Maybe not everything but i would definetly change things. I would be in control of my emotions more!!!

I would not change the fact that I met him. I would change that I went out with him. If I knew then what I know now about the type of person he is and the type of person he's capable of being, I never would have gone out with him and I certainly would not have dated him.

But, the past is the past and there is only forward to move. At least, it was a learning experience.

Crap, yes. In a heartbeat. There are a million things I'd change if I could.

nope. i wouldn't change a thing. sometimes i feel stupid about actions i've taken in the past and as i keep maturing there are somedays where i wish i would have known what i know now.. hell, six months ago.

but i wouldn't change a thing because i've had amazing experiences and everything has made me who i am now and i wouldn't want to change that.

I don't know. I think having my heart destroyed was the best thing to happen to me relationship wise. I was completely disillusioned about love and now I have a more realistic picture of it, although it is a little cynical. I want to believe in love, but at times it's hard.

When asked this question before, I've always answered with a resounding no.

After giving it some thought, I've decided that, yes, I would change one thing. My second marriage. I would never have done it. I regret that it ever happened even though it wasn't even the worst relationship I ever had.

Other than that, I'm good

Right now, no, I wouldn't change the past. Without the past, there wouldn't be the present.

HI, Its just a quick question,IF YOU COULD CHANGE THE PAST WOULD YOU? Would you change meeting them? Anything you did with them??? Lets see what everyone would do.

Yes...

I would have gotten that BJ younger. Asked my childhood sweetie to be my wife. One of the few people who actually understood me. Stayed in a different school so my future would be better. Kept in contact with my childhood sweetie. I wonder what she is up to these days.

Absolutely not--I state this with the most assured resound that I've ever stated anything.

As some people have noted: everything happens for a reason. No matter how stupid, hurt, angry, desperate, etc. I feel looking back on some of my decisions, I wouldn't alter one of them. I am the person that I am today because of those decisions, and if I didn't have that stupid, hurt, angry, desperate, etc. situation in my past, it is very likely that similar situations would occur in my future, and without that past experience to guide me: I would just make the same--if not worse--mistakes.

It may seem masochistic of me, but the most horrible decisions are truly blessings in the long-run.

I dont know if i would change meeting him...but i would change a lot of my actions. I would not put up with all the crap he dished out. I would not forgive time and time again. I would have been stronger earlier so he would not take advantage of me. Yes i would change the past!! Maybe not everything but i would definetly change things. I would be in control of my emotions more!!!

I have also thought about this topic for a long time. I would do the exact same thing as angelface78. But then a part of me will ask me why I'm trying to put it all on myself again? It all happened for a reason and no matter how much I changed the situation, it wouldn't be any different because he screwed it up for the both of us. If he could change it then he wouldn't be the same person I dated and fell in love with. The person who broke my heart. If it wasn't meant to be then no matter what changed in whatever situation, it would probably still be the same. Just two incompatible people.

As some people have noted: everything happens for a reason.

Life is chaotic and disorderly and wonderful . There's no central narrative, there's no script, there's no overriding force (however you wish to define it) that has us dance on some mystical strings.

But point is that we can't go back and change anything anyway, so some will make up reasons and draw straight lines between points where no straight line existed. "He left me, that made me a better person, therefore there must have been a reason" or "I lost my job but got a better one, therefore there must have been a reason."

Sounds nice and comforting, but it's irrational.

See, I don't buy this, not one bit. We may create reasons for events and situations as they arise, but that actually doesn't mean there is a reason.

 

Life is chaotic and disorderly and wonderful . There's no central narrative, there's no script, there's no overriding force (however you wish to define it) that has us dance on some mystical strings.

 

But point is that we can't go back and change anything anyway, so some will make up reasons and draw straight lines between points where no straight line existed. "He left me, that made me a better person, therefore there must have been a reason" or "I lost my job but got a better one, therefore there must have been a reason."

 

Sounds nice and comforting, but it's irrational.

It's not irrational--read any ancient, medieval, and many contemporary and modern philosophers and you'll find that the chaos theory is more irrational than that of a creation theory that has some sort of narrative.

What's the point of living life if there is no value, no reason, everything is chaotic and relative? It seems much more irrational to me to think that all of the order in the universe--and clearly there is order, else the world would be completely unintelligible to us--is an illusion.

Anyway, no need for a debate here, because I'm sure it will be futile as neither of us are going to come to an agreement. So, I'll just wish you luck in life with that depressing (and irrational, I would argue) world-view.

You know this is a very good question. And I think my answer would have to be NO. And simply because each and every R that I've had, I have learned something from. And you know I don't think I'd be the strong person that I am today if I had not going through the things that I did.

Mea:)

As someone who considers herself an opportunist, without experience, you're not going to understand how to take advantage of opportunities or appreciate opportunities (within ethical boundaries, of course), when they come your way. Or maybe this is simply a state of mind.

Id have to say no...because every single moment as it happened is the reason I am who I am, and the reason I am where I am. Im not sure what my alternate path would have been had anything gone differently, but I wouldnt want to take the risk that it would end up being worse than now.

Like...had I not married my ex-husband, I wouldnt have moved to be with him, and got a new dr who found out my daughter had a heart condition she was dying from. If I stayed where i was...her doc would have kept telling me she has the flu...and she would not be here today.

That alone..in and of itself..is worth all the crap I went through from beginning to end in my relationship with that guy. I know what the alternative would have been in that case...so Id rather just deal with where I am fromt he choices I made...another life may have been much much harder to handle the one the one I have now.

I would change so many things if I could go back. I would change my behaviour toward my ex - be more supportive, less argumentative and impatient and angry. Even if she still ended up leaving me, I could say that I did everything I could.

As it stands, I messed up with what I believe is the best chance at happiness that I will ever have.

man i would change only ONE THING, when i threw that whore out my apartment, i should of never looked back.... if i would of stuck to my guns that whore would of never got the chance to hurt me which is what she wanted......

damn whore

There are lots of things I wish I could rewind the tape on. You know how you always think of the PERFECT retort to an insult/jab/remark hours later? Kinda feels like that.

It's a tough call though, simply because the "rights" and "wrongs" are never as clear to us until we either reap benefits or endure consequences as a result.

I'm in a situation in my life right now that I wish I'd handled differently on sooo many levels I can't even begin to describe them. But would I change who I'm with? Nah. That'd be to easy.

HI, Its just a quick question,IF YOU COULD CHANGE THE PAST WOULD YOU? Would you change meeting them? Anything you did with them??? Lets see what everyone would do.

At first when the pain was fresh and consuming....I wished I had never met him or that I had never decided to be in a relationship with him for a second time. I wanted to erase him from my memory.....

Now....I realize that going through pain is just a part of it but I have learned A LOT. Cliched as it seems I can actually make sense of EVERYTHING and ee why it occurred and how it helped me grow. After going through this I am A LOT wiser, smarter, more compassionate, intune with my intuition and have researched a lot and figured out issues that come up in relationships and how to spot and deal with them.

I am not jaded and actually excited about my future. I feel like I graduated from the school of relationships. I didnt like the pain but the lessons learned were invaluable and I do not regret it.