Sex Refusal Question

While in a relationship does a guy get upset if you refuse sex or don't want to? This is after you have had sex.

Like if you "aren't in the mood?"

 

If my boyfriend will try to "seduce me" and I'm not really feeling it, he won't get upset, usually he will try to turn me on! Most of the time it works. There are times when I'm just not feeling it, therefore I will just let him know. He is a little disappointed, but he'll live.

 

You can't be at his sexual beck and call all the time.

A good guy wont make you feel like crap for not wanting it. However there are some guys out there that will. An ex of mine, if I turned him down he'd turn around and say, "oh well someone will give it up to me". There's a reason he's an ex

Yea I am usually ok and enjoy, but yea do I HAVE to be ready everytime he is stimulated? I'd like to feel as if I want to also. He has not said anything, but I was just asking.

A good guy wont make you feel like crap for not wanting it. However there are some guys out there that will. An ex of mine, if I turned him down he'd turn around and say, "oh well someone will give it up to me". There's a reason he's an ex

 

What a jerk!!! Those are guys who think with their "ya know" instead of their brain lol.

Yea I am usually ok and enjoy, but yea do I HAVE to be ready everytime he is stimulated? I'd like to feel as if I want to also. He has not said anything, but I was just asking.

 

No, you don't have to feel that way everytime. If he gets pissed off that you turn him down then he is a jerk, and it's good to see what kind of guy he really is.

This is why sexual compatibility is key within a relationship. If you're both high, medium or low drive individuals, this kind of thing won't be an issue.

Just make sure you do not turn down a girl.. Gives her a huge complex she won't forget. Men might just get irritated.

What a jerk!!! Those are guys who think with their "ya know" instead of their brain lol.

 

No kidding! I remember that night very clearly, he advertised his number on myspace. I sure picked a winner that time lol

 

This is why sexual compatibility is key within a relationship. If you're both high, medium or low drive individuals, this kind of thing won't be an issue.

 

I agree with this, but there will be times one or the other just wont be feeling it. I do think that a high/medium or low/medium could work too, it just takes a bit more.

Ha funny boxing I think you are right.

 

I want something meaningful. Having alot of sex does not always feel so meaningful esp. when I don't want to.

Ha funny boxing I think you are right.

 

I want something meaningful. Having alot of sex does not always feel so meaningful esp. when I don't want to.

 

Yeah, if you have tons of sex all the time it's not as special as if you just have a romantic night together and make it special.

 

Plus having tons of sex tends to get repetitive sometimes. I think it's better when you have missed each other!

Yeah, if you have tons of sex all the time it's not as special as if you just have a romantic night together and make it special.

 

Plus having tons of sex tends to get repetitive sometimes. I think it's better when you have missed each other!

*raises hand*

 

I totally disagree!

If I have sex a lot once we are at the point, I get bored and tired of it later on. I lose interest. Yet at the same time, when we first start having sex, I want it a lot. I confuse myself

*raises hand*

 

I totally disagree!

 

Me too!

 

While I agree it's awesome to reconnect physically when you've missed each other - as in, literally have been physically apart - I don't think having lots of sex on a regular basis makes it any less special than a purposeful romantic evening.

 

I did feel bad on Sunday night when I had to turn down my BF. I had skiied more challenging slopes than I was used to all weekend, and could barely move - my legs and hips were killing me. He kept trying to caress and then grope me... it was only when I'd yelp he'd stop. I was quite funny, actually.

Me too!

 

While I agree it's awesome to reconnect physically when you've missed each other - as in, literally have been physically apart - I don't think having lots of sex on a regular basis makes it any less special than a purposeful romantic evening.

Shake it up and keep it unpredictable! This means both of you, not just one partner. Just more sexual compatibility issues besides drive. Don't get lazy or stuck in one position, place or if you're into it, thing!

 

I did feel bad on Sunday night when I had to turn down my BF. I had skiied more challenging slopes than I was used to all weekend, and could barely move - my legs and hips were killing me. He kept trying to caress and then grope me... it was only when I'd yelp he'd stop. I was quite funny, actually.

Ouch. You must have been hobbling around on Monday. When I used to ski a lot, the first time each year no matter how much I worked out beforehand, always got to me. I used to hobble around the office, with people calling me hop-along!

It seems like it's ok for a woman to turn a guy down for sex but it's not ok for a man to turn a woman down when he's not in the mood.

 

If you don't believe me read some of the threads here. There have been many occasions when a woman posts that "my boyfriend won't have sex with me" and the advice here is usually that she should call it quits with him and move on to some other guy who will always be in the mood for sex.

 

So if it's ok for a woman to turn down sex when she's not in the mood why isn't it ok for the man to do the same? Why must I be obligated to have sex with her on her terms?

Shake it up and keep it unpredictable! This means both of you, not just one partner. Just more sexual compatibility issues besides drive. Don't get lazy or stuck in one position, place or if you're into it, thing!

 

Precisely!

 

(I'm getting excited to see him tonight...)

 

Ouch. You must have been hobbling around on Monday. When I used to ski a lot, the first time each year no matter how much I worked out beforehand, always got to me. I used to hobble around the office, with people calling me hop-along!

 

Oh yes, I was hobbling. It's all those little tiny muscles and tendons you didn't even know you had - those are what hurts! My legs have never hurt that bad in all my life! Sunday night and Monday morning he was my "man servant," as I could barely walk. My calves hurt so bad that he could barely even touch them without hurting me, although he did try to massage the tension out. So sweet.

 

He said the same thing though - that no matter how great of shape he's in before the first few days of the season, getting his ski legs back always hurts a little. So he was very understanding of my reason for turning down the sexy time.

I think it was TBF who disagreed with me.

 

I love having sex, I wasn't implying that you should not have sex a lot just to make it better. I'm just saying that if you have sex multiple times everyday, wouldn't you be a little tired?

 

I DEF. think you should have sex on a regular basis. It's special and nice in a relationship. I guess it depends on what your def. of "tons of sex" is too.

I love having sex, I wasn't implying that you should not have sex a lot just to make it better. I'm just saying that if you have sex multiple times everyday, wouldn't you be a little tired?

Nope, never did tire of it and I'll leave it at that!

 

It's a drive thing.

It's a drive thing.

 

It sure is.

 

Admittedly, mine ebbs and flows a little due to hormones and sports injuries. But when it's on... Woah boy.

Nope, never did tire of it and I'll leave it at that!

 

It's a drive thing.

 

Yeah, true. Everybody's is different.

It seems like it's ok for a woman to turn a guy down for sex but it's not ok for a man to turn a woman down when he's not in the mood.

 

If you don't believe me read some of the threads here. There have been many occasions when a woman posts that "my boyfriend won't have sex with me" and the advice here is usually that she should call it quits with him and move on to some other guy who will always be in the mood for sex.

 

So if it's ok for a woman to turn down sex when she's not in the mood why isn't it ok for the man to do the same? Why must I be obligated to have sex with her on her terms?

 

 

 

I like how this was ignored by the women on this thread. Women flip out if a guy turns them down.

 

Also, even if I wasnt in the mood I would always still try to please my ex orally or some other type foreplay and I never thought being tired was a valid excuse. I always made sure she was happy because I didnt want her to stray from me.

 

Women are just self centered and think everything should be on their terms when it benefits them.

I like how this was ignored by the women on this thread. Women flip out if a guy turns them down.

 

Also, even if I wasnt in the mood I would always still try to please my ex orally or some other type foreplay and I never thought being tired was a valid excuse. I always made sure she was happy because I didnt want her to stray from me.

 

Women are just self centered and think everything should be on their terms when it benefits them.

 

If someone is going to stray it is because they are not happy all around, not just because they don't get sex when exactly they want it. It needs to be on both person's terms. It's not all about one person.

Should I ask him if it bothered him? Maybe we could communicate about it. It's hard to know when and what to bring up. Any ideas?

I love having sex, I wasn't implying that you should not have sex a lot just to make it better. I'm just saying that if you have sex multiple times everyday, wouldn't you be a little tired?

 

By tired do you mean sore?