talking to girls is easy but how does a guy who`s always been shy 'START talking' ?

hi,

i have a problem and searched the web and found this site, i am in 11th grade. i have always been shy, but now i want to talk to a girl i have a crush on, she knows me and that i am very shy, i dont usually say hi or hello to her in classes but now i think i have to start talking to her. thats the problem, how do i start talking to her without making her feel that i`ve suddenly changed or just trying to have some fun,.....i want to make her my friend only a friend....how do i do it?

tell her what you would tell a guy whom you wanted to be friends with.

something along the lines of "hey whats going on.. I noticed such and such about you.."

you cant force friendship, it is something which developes on its own, but you need

to break the ice..

i like being vaguely and gently mocked as an approach, but i guess it depends on the girl. it also depends on how nerdy or preppy the parties involved are, as well. here are techniques from the nerds:

if you can, try to tease her in a way that individuates her - i.e: if you see her looking at music or books, make some vaguely smart ass remark like:

Horace's old stuff was way better; then he got too commercial.

make fun of the teacher or the material

ask her about the homework, but not too often.

invite her to some non-threatening group thing you and your buddies are doing'

make a remark on a remark she makes in class, or ask a question about something the teacher said

and finally...

lend her something!!! - a book she mentions, a CD, anything. i cannot tell you how many times i've ended up going on a semi-date with a guy because i had to return his notes, books, music, whatever.

thanks a lot people...but i still could use some more views on this topic so i`ll keep coming back.

But i dont think becoming a member for this only thing is useful. plz dont mind...i dont want to register coz i dont want anybody in my house to see this site

i think the idea about lending something is awesome

just make sure she returns it!!

yes, i really liked the lending idea i think the saturday night party will be a good idea to start talking to her

ye i got same kinda prob but bit diff - i like now this girl for about 2 yrs now and have always wanted to go out with her but i was way to sh and scared of the rejection.But now ive been (trying) to talk to her get closer to her but i just dont kno who to take it further any suggestions i would be most thankful.

hey guys and i see there are some girls out there,

im 17 fresh outta school and no girlfriend at all, im pining big time tho. My major problem is fear of rejection and confidednce i am on 5 foot 2 so im no giant more of a short ass so when i want to talk to girls around otha guys i feel completely stupid and inadequate.

I have 1 really good friend who is a girl, were like mates tho, no prblems there ive known her for ages, but when it comes to tryin to meet new chicks or i c someone in the mall that is super hot i can't bring myself to say anything to them I keep thinkin im the short guy who wont get a girl.

Ima ski instructor now so goin to austria on the 6th jan 2006 for 4 months then coming bak home hopefullly the skiing will take my mind off it but im still gona b meetin heaps of girls and stuff ova there so how am i gona get ova this problems

is a girl gona reject me coz im too short? and because i am short girls think im too young and all that. I dont wana give up i wanna girlfriend so i can make her and myself happy.

Hey, it is a definite fact that shortness does NOT turn girls off or make girls reject you....i'm 18 years old, 5 foot 1 and that really doesn't stop me....just....be subtle, and make a good first impression.

Also, about the shyness, should be proud of it I used to be shy....i still am....but....it kinda tells people that you're not usually outgoing, thus letting them drag you to new experiences

PS. imagine you're acting....might get you started faster....sounds stupid yes, but works sometimes

hi guys im in the 11th grade im very shy my last girlfriend i went out with was when i was in year 7 i havent had a girlfriend since i have put on a bit of weight im not really fat just a bit tall and lanky i feel as if no girl likes me i havent had any contact with girls since year 7 and i feel like no girls looks at me when i go out well i feel like that and i wouldnt know if a girl was interested in me so i dont know how to approach girls i really need help does anyone know btw i want a girlfriend so bad

i have been seeing this girl for about a moth and a half and when i met her i was shy and still kinda am when we talk on the phone i talk for a few mins and then go blank it like i do not wanna say something wrong i reallly like this girl she says that we do not have an chemeristy

we have some and i do not want to lose his girl if there is any one out there that can he please do she tells me when we talk i got no covo about anyhting she also says that she is looking for some one to make her laughf and what not over the phone i am tryign my best to do what i can but it just does not seem to be goign anywere and when i see her everthing is cool and all so if anyone can help me what this thank u

if your having broblems speaking on the phone to girls then

always make sure that she says the first word and then that meens you will have something to say evrey time she speaks because your not trying to think waht to ask her

if you are shy and you want to start talking to girls then just bring up a subject that you really like this way you will talk for a long time that means you will feel much better about your self.

Today i asked out a girl in my school that i really didnt kno, she said no. Is there a way i could get her to change her mind.

Today i asked out a girl in my school that i really didnt kno, she said no. Is there a way i could get her to change her mind.

My advice is you have to be friends with her for atlease a month first, make her feel like you are not a bad guy who just wants to fool around, then ask her out again.

Omg.. How can I speak of what I like... O_0 Did you see episode 412 of Star Trek? OmG Chewbakka dies in that episode!

I have nothing that interests girls.. I'm so hopeless. I should just throw my laptop down the stairs and get rid of this genius computer knowledge I have.. It's bringing me crap instead of girls.

You don't have to be up on everything the girl knows or likes, but you do have to be interested. Ask questions, actively listen, pay attention.

The idea is not to make her like you. The idea is to learn about the other person. What makes them tick, what moves them and why. Who are they inside?

And do they show interest in who you are... Even if they don't have the exact same interests, are they interested in hearing about it? If not, then maybe they aren't the best for you.

Instead of obsessing about "talking" to girls, why don't you focus on just learning about people in general. Show an interest in others by asking them questions about what they are doing, wearing, saying.. anything. Then translate those skills to the girls you're attracted to. It's learned, just like everything else in life.

My advice is to get in shape to have a good looking body,get your self noticedbyplayingschoolsportslikefootball,baseball,basketball,tennis,soccer,etc.

By getting your self noticed like star pitcher, hitter,running back,etc.It will focus her attion at you if you are a star player a bit.Cause like at my school they name the star players every day after the games in 1st pd.So that might work.And back to topic,get to know her at least a month or longer.first be friends then make the move.so got nothing else to say besides good luck with your relationships and peace.

P.S. I dont have the problem you guys or some girls have here so i tried my best to explain a little.

hi,

i have a problem and searched the web and found this site, i am in 11th grade. i have always been shy, but now i want to talk to a girl i have a crush on, she knows me and that i am very shy, i dont usually say hi or hello to her in classes but now i think i have to start talking to her. thats the problem, how do i start talking to her without making her feel that i`ve suddenly changed or just trying to have some fun,.....i want to make her my friend only a friend....how do i do it?

look just go ask a friend to help if that dont work go to a x girl friend and ask for help.

I don't think better advice could be found anywhere- I agree 100 percent- if you obsess over getting her to like you, it shows. Just being interested in her as an individual will make her think that you care.

You don't have to be up on everything the girl knows or likes, but you do have to be interested. Ask questions, actively listen, pay attention.

 

The idea is not to make her like you. The idea is to learn about the other person. What makes them tick, what moves them and why. Who are they inside?

 

And do they show interest in who you are... Even if they don't have the exact same interests, are they interested in hearing about it? If not, then maybe they aren't the best for you.

 

Instead of obsessing about "talking" to girls, why don't you focus on just learning about people in general. Show an interest in others by asking them questions about what they are doing, wearing, saying.. anything. Then translate those skills to the girls you're attracted to. It's learned, just like everything else in life.