I have a bad memory ...why is that?

My situation is this. I can remember some things in great detail, but most of the time, facts and figures go out of my head and I have trouble retaining them. I cannot remember historic details I learnt while I was studying history at school, and at university for example.

More troubling, I cannot remember facts my bf tells me about his life. I am wondering if it is an effect of my OCD, or if it is just because I am not good at retaining details? (I must say though, I remember the BIG stuff, I just don't remember the trivial stuff...which I probably only have asked about, because of my OCD anyway).

My theory that it may be linked to my obsessing revolves around the fact, that it is common for obsessive thinkers to not trust their own memory...to doubt things, and then obsessively ask the same question over again...to double check, triple check, and so on. And of course normally people don't need to know and remember trivial details about their partner's past!

Also, when your mind is racing, sometimes you don't listen properly, and therefore don't take in the details. Because, you are simply looking for CERTAIN details, which you think will calm the current obsession or anxiety.

On top of that, it has been suggested to me, that at times I seem to mildly suffer ADD. My attention skips from one thing to the next, quickly. I leave tasks half done to move on to something new. I might come home with the groceries, and start unpacking the car. I'll carry some bags inside, and unpack them, and then get distracted by reading something, or searching for a CD to put on or whatever. Then I forget the other bags are still in the car! My bf often comes home after me, to find my car door open, with half the groceries on the back seat!

I am highly intelligent, driven, active...and I am always thinking. So sometimes, my attention is not fully tuned in to what someone is saying, and later, I CANNOT remember what I was told!

All these things combined, mean I really either, 1) don't trust my memory or 2) really can't remember.

It is frustrating. The only solution seems to be, 1) learn to trust my memory more (part of overcoming OCD anyway..and getting better all the time). 2) train myself to pay more attention (I even write things down in my little question book, which is a method in overcoming OCD). and 3) don't worry when I can't remember things which aren't important anyway (most often the details are not super significant things anyway, another part of overcoming OCD).

For example...this morning, my partner and I were discussing dogs, and what sort of dog we'd like to own in the future. He mentioned a dog his family had owned in the past. I could not remember him telling me about that dog. I asked what sort of dog is what. He'd said he'd told me about FOUR times, and could not believe I was asking again! He attributed it to my OCD, and said he didn't think it was a good idea for me to keep obsessing over the dog issue, at that point, and to drop it. And so I did. I now have remembered the dog's name, but I still cannot recall what type of dog is was.

Anyway, do you think my solutions sound good? Do you have any other theories, or think my theories sound right? Do you suffer bad memory too? I've just been finding it a bit frustrating. Mum tells me it's always been like this with me.

Well, Thinkalot, you know that I've suggested people check into AD/HD more than once. And after a few things you've said about yourself lately, I thought of it even more. It would not be at all uncommon for you to have AD/HD and OCD; in fact AD/HD is often found to be comorbid with other disorders.

The memory problem you mention is a very common one for people with AD/HD. The distractability, the forgetting tasks in the middle of doing them - all also pretty common. In fact, your having trouble with jokes and being teased would be another sign.

Now my ex, who was dyslexic and had OCD, first reacted to the possibility of having AD/HD by saying 'not ANOTHER thing wrong with me!'. But, as with OCD, once you know you have it, you can learn coping skills.

Anyway, if you're interested, you can do a self-test at http://www.amenclinic.com/ac/addtests/

Originally posted by moimeme

 

Now my ex, who was dyslexic and had OCD, first reacted to the possibility of having AD/HD by saying 'not ANOTHER thing wrong with me!'.

My first thoughts exactly! LOL. It was actually a psychologist I saw last year, with my partner, who suggested I may have AD/HD. We went to see him together to sort out some relationship issues, and he picked up on some elements of my behaviour, which highly contrasted with my partner's behaviour by the way!

I'll do the test and see. I feel as though my partner has had the misfortune of falling in love with a basket case sometimes! Other times, I remember I am very loveable, of course.

P.S. I did also have to see a child psycholigist when I was little for behavioural problems...who ended up suggesting I start school early to get me occupied...so I started school at 4. I got better once I was in school...but still had lots of tantrums.

hey thinkalot, it looks like we have something else in common. i am so easily distracted that it often becomes a problem. i have had groceries go bad because i would put them in the kitchen and then get distracted and not put the milk in the refrigerator. last week the lightbulb went out in my bedroom and i thought i didnt have any more. so i was getting ready to go out to eat with my gf and i had one shoe on when i remembered where i had some and i went and got the bulb from the kitchen and put it in still with one shoe on. a lot of times i notice it when im just sitting there talking to my gf and ill remember something i wanted to check on google and ill just get up and do it, even when were talking...and its not like im tryingto be rude like i dont care what she has to say it just pops into my mind and i go off and do it. last example, whenever im talking to people in general i can NEVER follow what they are saying. Im there and I think im listening but im not...my mind is somewhere else.

it seems like whatever thought is in my head is the most important one at the time and i forget everything else.

I have a bad memory also, I can't recall anything before the age of five, and when my brothers and mom get together and start talking about "younger years" I feel as if I missed my lifetime.

The last time we all got together, they were talking about things I should have known but had no idea. Such as my brother had asthma and on pills all while we were growing up. I played the trumpet (who would have guessed that one?) for almost a year.

The lastest one, my mom and I have cell phones under a family plan. So every month she calls and tells me how much, I send her money, life goes on. This last payday I call and ask her how much, and she says you already paid. I said are you sure, and she says yeah, you paid over two weeks ago, remember? No, not really but I believe you.

So I learned to live with it. If I say I don't remember, chances are, I really just can't remember it. My mom thinks it has to do with my growing up when I would always pass out (faint). The docs did their testing, blaming anemic and some other things, but then they said that I have "stress bumps" on my head. They wanted to biopsy them but I have a thing about being bald (six bumps in different areas on my head, all in my hair). I figure if they haven't done anything to me yet, leave them be. But the docs figured that if I get to thinking too much or stressing, a touch on the bump and I fall at your feet. (I passed out on my step monster at least once every summer for six years, each and every time would freak her out )

I figure they are a good as anything to blame my poor memory on

Yep Pav...i hear ya!

The other morning, I was already running late for work ( I am CHRONICALLY late)...when I remembered that I wanted to search for some old papers I had in the garage. So I stopped getting ready, and went in search of them!! Needless to say, I was even later for work (luckily my job is pretty flexible).

Are you often late too?

Perhaps all these personality traits mean we are more likely to suffer OCD and even mild ADD?? Pav...we may be crazy ...but at least we aren't alone! Imagine two of us together in a relationship!!

i would say that being chronically late would be an understatement and i try so hard to be on time, i really do. even when im ready to leave when Im supposed to, i will do 10 unnecessary things and wind up being late anyways. my mom says i have absolutely "no perception of time" and i think things will take a lot shorter than they will.

im notorious with my friends about this too, whenever im like "ill be there at 4" theyll say "alright see you at 5" or something and they always end up being right

Thanks for your response Sportsloving.

Merry- I did the test. Pav you should have a look at it too. My results describe me and I put some little explanations in brackets, one of the types which I cam out as "probable" was the tendency towards getting stuck on thought patterns:

Amen Brain System Checklist ©

Type Probability

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ADD Combined Type Highly Probable more info -( this aspect shows hperactivity...being driven etc..job changes/movement)

ADD Inattentive Type Not Probable more info -(this person is a couch potato)

Cingulate System Hyperactivity Probable more info -(this person has tendency towards OBSESSIVE! thinking...also low seratonin levels which can cause moodiness, and hypersenstivitiy...compulsive behaviours- anti-depressants can help)

Limbic System Hyperactivity May be possible more info

Basal Ganglia Hyperactivity Probable more info -(this sets the body's anxiety levels..and can be too high, causing anxiety-tendency to worry a lot, muscle tension and so on... anxiety meds can help)

Temporal Lobe System May be possible more info

*****

Oh well, I guess knowledge is a good thing, at least I know what's going on.

Gaia, if you check this thread, do you show any of these symptoms too?

Hoo boy! Chronic lateness, too? Yep, another BIG sign. Pav, might as well give the test a try, too. Have a look at Amen's site. He's got brain scan images of people who have different disorders. Fascinating stuff. ADD will complicate your lives, too but, like everything else, forewarned is forearmed.

Originally posted by pav186

and i try so hard to be on time, i really do. even when im ready to leave when Im supposed to, i will do 10 unnecessary things and wind up being late anyways

You describe me exactly!

ADD Combined Type -- Not Probable

ADD Inattentive Type -- Highly Probable

Cingulate System Hyperactivity -- Probable

Limbic System Hyperactivity -- May be possible

Basal Ganglia Hyperactivity -- Highly Probable

Temporal Lobe System -- Not Probable

for the cingulate system hyperactivity, it mentions that stimulants may make it worse. i def think thats the case b/c i took my gf ADD med Dexadrine ( i had a rx for concerta at one point) to help me get work done and the days i took those i was much more obsessive, i actually mentioned to her that my brain was prob overactive as it is.

Cool pic pav.

Looks like we have some of the same symptoms, but also areas which differ (ie, opposite in the first categories).

Hope it helps your understanding. Merry's links are good too.

yeah i didnt realize things like running late were associated with ADD. A lot of times I feel like my thinking is just too scattered to ever be productive and id say that i def lean more towards the couch potato side, although i do work out and go to the gym. besides that though i dont do THAT much as i like to spend time doing things myself or with my girlfriend. I do like being social but its kinda like a special thing for me and i cant always be around people, its very mentally exhausting, but i guess thats cause im a little more to the introvert side.

I didn't mean coach potato in an offensive way ...I was trying to highlight the differences in those categories...I am always on the go! I find it hard to be still and relax.

Hmmm....maybe I ought to give those tests a try.

I already know my memory problems are due to a seizure disorder, but there may be a thing or two I don't know about!!!

These are all really good guidelines to discuss with your doctor - but don't self diagnose! I have/had almost all the same symptoms and I went through all sorts of tests with several different doctors. The thing that prompted it was that I began losing memories. I have absolutly no recollection of my marriage proposal. I can't stir up even the faintest glimmer of hearing him or seeing him propose. He remembers, but I do not. We thought it was depression, NO. AD/HD/ADD, NO. OCD, NO. I was tested and tested and tested. Finally, it was traced to a series of small strokes in my brain. Some healed themselves some left permanent damage to my memories. I won't get those memories back and every once in a while I'll stumble across something that I should have knows but have no memory of. I'm taking meds to prevent future strokes, but I do still have them once in a while and it always affects my memory and my attention span and my mood. If it weren't for the meds I may well have had a massive stroke by now. The docs didn't find this at first because I was way too young to have a stroke. I probably had my first stroke when I was 19 or 20. The meds and treatments for OCD or ADD, etc. don't work for me. Use these tests to talk with your doctors, but don't use them as a final diagnosis.

Use these tests to talk with your doctors, but don't use them as a final diagnosis.

They aren't meant to be. Dr. Amen makes it clear that people are to take the results to their physicians to get a full diagnosis. All they do is point to a possibility which bears checking out.

your health insurance may help defray the costs - i have found out insurance in Canada can cover or at least partially subsidize the following:

<from amenclinic.com>

Fee Schedule

$3,000.00 Complete Evaluation, Including Concentration and Baseline Scans

$1,000.00 Concentration Scan

$1,000.00 Baseline (Resting) Scan

$1,000.00 Follow-up Scan

$1,000.00 Intake Evaluation, Diagnostic Interview with Historian and Doctor

$400.00 Fee for Reading Outside Scans (see notation below)

 

Family Discount

 

1st member of the family pays full price and then a 10% discount for each additional family members being scanned.

 

Discussing your medication might be a good place to start. I recommend talking to your doctor about possible side effects from any medications that you are now on. Perhaps there are lesser known side effects which involve short-term memory loss. Sleeping medications can often cause this, as well, and these issues usually come up when one has been on a certain type of medication for a few months or longer.

Also, it was mentioned that self-diagnosis is a bad idea. I agree with that completely. I also would not recommend going out and reading about what could be causing your memory problems. Discuss your problems with your doctor or another medical professional, and read up on what they suggest, if they do suggest you read up on anything at all.

it is evidently quite important to have an expensive historian there to help diagnose memory problems.

I agree self diagnosis is not a good idea...but I disagree that reading about things is a bad idea. I am always keen to learn more about psychology and what makes my brain tick. Some knowledge before speaking to doctors is usually helpful I think.

It was a psychologist who originally suggested I may have AD/HD and told me to take the Amen test to see what the results showed. He was not suggesting I had severe issues with it, but perhaps it was something to be aware of, in understanding what drives certain of my behaviours, and simply being aware. I certainly don't wish to appear to be dramatising anything.

It was also suggested when I was a child, but back then drugs weren't routinely prescribed.

Diagnostic Interview with Historian

:lmao:

I don't think you need to take the test, Jenny. Unlike me, who has some of the personality traits. I did the first one and got "unlikely".

The label may be useful for research if you are that way inclined but you only have a "disorder" if there is a marked impact on your life.

i'm just happy i can get a family discount. i do have some of the traits, actually, as does the rest of family and almost all of my friends.

Everyone has some of the traits. Everyone has some of the traits of most disorders, since disorders are not necessarily bizarre behaviour, but behaviours which most people might experience occasionally, and that people with disorders experience to the point where there is a negative impact on their lives. I wash my hands, too. I do not wash them thirty times a day. I forget things, too, but not the way people with AD/HD forget them.

People who discount legitimate disorders without comprehending the genuinely negative impacts they have on the people who suffer them do a grave disservice with their cavalier attitudes. This only contributes to the stigmatization of people who have already had lifetimes of trouble and problems.

i agree moi althought i guess im biased. i think its hard for people to understand something unless theyve been in the situation themselves. its easy for someone to say, dont think this way, or snap out of it but its much harder to actually do it. like you said, everyone has some symptoms of many disorders, but its not to the same level and intensity and it does not have a negative impact on their life. For me, on some days, it has incapacitated me to the point that i just stayed in my room all day long.

like with my ocd, the root of the thoughts themselves are prob pretty common. im guessing most people dont like the fact that their partners were sleeping with other people, but in my case my thoughts get stuck on certain negative thoughts and very very vivid images. the images are very disturbing and literally feel like youre watching the same horrible movie over and over; sometimes for 4, 6, 8+ hours a day. to make it worse you try and analyze your way out of the problem but i cant make sense of it all so my brain just tries and tries. come to think of it, this is prob why im good at math and i enjoy puzzles and things that can be analyzed. Even on my personality profile my thinking type is always labeled analytical and that i enjoy figuring things out and solving problems. I am fully aware that my ruminations will get me no where but extremely depressed but it doesnt matter....