Seeing my ex this week.... seeking advice

Hello All!

I need some advice. I am going to be having lunch with my ex-girlfriend this Tuesday. And I am nervous, not sure how to act or what to say.

Ok... Little back ground may be useful here. We split up about 6 months ago and was not a pleasant experience for anyone. She was very angry with me for some good reasons, also we split up partially because of some baggage she carries as well. One thing that has made this so difficult, at least for me is I am a swim coach and I coach her son, so we see each other almost everyday. Since the breakup we have had contact but it has always been vary formal with very little personal conversation. I've called her a few times and most of the time she has never called back until this summer I wrote her a letter saying some things I needed to say. Things like (this is the way short version here) I'm angry at myself... I'm angry at you, I don't know what I meant to you, I'm sorry, I'd like to be friends.... etc. Stuff that I had wanted to say almost since the day we split up. She call me back and we talked. Nothing really personal but I did say it would mean a lot to me if we could sit down and talk in person. Actually, we were supposed to talk last week but she stood me up because she was to sick (I ended up sitting in a coffee shop for 4 hours and she never did even call!) She called me the next day and apologized. So we are trying for this Tuesday.

My purpose for talking to her is not really about getting back together. Don't get me wrong if she said she wanted to, I'd would try. I have boundaries and some things would have to happen if we did. But really want to tell her I miss her and I think we have an opportunity to be amazing friends (opportunity because we have so see each other because of the swimming). I like to be able to invite her and her family over for a bbq some day. I miss the mutual respect and camradery we shared, and I think it is silly we can't still be here for each other. As friends.

So Those are the kinds of things I like to say. But I am unsure of what she is bringing to the table. To be honest I don't know why she wants to meet with me now after all this time has pasted. We have tried to set up times to talk so many times and I have worked myself up so many times already... i'm exhausted from the mental roller coaster. I'm nervous because I want this to be a positive experience; I hope it is something that will bring me peace and closure so I can move on.

I'd love to hear hear everyones thoughts, I just need some fresh perspectives.

Be open to anything that happens....expect the worse and you'll land on your feet. My advice to anyone who needs it is ex's leave us for one reason: we aren't the same person we were when they met us. When you have lunch with her be the person who wasn't in love with her and wasn't looking for it when you met the first time. She will be very surprised to se that person again. Don't bring up anything about the 2 of u. This is what you have to show her: You have been doing great since the breakup and you're life is going in the right direction. Be carefree and be yourself....keep it light. She still thinks of the two of you...I'm positive and she knows how you feel. Remember....treat this like a first date....you'll be nervous just like it was. Hope this helps