I had sex on first date, is it doomed to never progress

Ok I need some advice, I have just had the most wonderful weekend I’ve ever had with this amazing girl. I was fooling around Friday night on a dating website, and hooked up online with her. We were both drunk, but she was fooling around undressing down to her underwear. We met at 3am online and were on webcam and telephone until 8am. I arranged to drive to her house 50 miles away and bring her back to mine the following evening and take her to a party.

We did this, and there was an instant attraction and we were all over each other and had drunken sex that evening, but had great sex in the morning. We then spent the Sunday together, she had a bath at mine in the afternoon, then we went shopping park and we were showing public displays of affection to one another, then went for a meal.

After the meal we were extremely passionate again in the car, but didn’t have sex. I drove her home and got her home for 9pm that nite (we spent a full 24 hours together). She said we’d meet online later, but when I got in she was back on the dating site, but didn’t log into messenger, where we were supposed to be camming and sending pics. Now its Monday night, and I sent her a text at 7.20pm “hi, how are you today, did you catch up on your sleep? I got lost driving home last night and didn’t get home until 10.30” and there has been no reply.

Its now 9.45pm and I don’t know what to do I want to call her but I can’t now cos I sent the text. She was very “planning forward” and saying we’d do this and do that in the future, but now I’m in a mess thinking it was all too good to be true. Help!!!!

She may have just wanted a quick hookup, no strings, despite what she said. I know you had a great (hopefully safe) time, but do your best not to obsess about it too much. Leave the ball in her court. If she's interested in something more, she'll contact you. And if not... hey, you have the memories of a night of great sex and a fun 24 hours that didn't require much effort on your part.

I realize you know this already, but she's not obligated to call you just because you slept together.

cheers reservoir, i'm just so in a daze still about it all, she was amazing. she did say she had loads of assignments to do this week and maybe wants to just get on with them,

i've just spotted that she's left her zip-up boots here!

we did say we'd meet wednesday - but we didnt make any concrete plans, maybe i am being a bit over eager here and should just wait to se what happens, it is still barely 24 hours ago that i saw her last

You've technically only know this girl for one day, so you can't really expect her to prioritize you. I wouldn't say necessarily that just because you had sex on the first date nothing can come of your relationship, but I'd say take it carefully from here.

thanks chariot, she does have a lot of other things to take care of as well,

as she has a lot of friends, 3 children of 10, 5 and 4, plus she has a stack of assignments to get through as well, maybe i am just being too keen and want it to still be the weekend because its still only monday, she said she does want to meet again, and i'll just forget about it now unless she contacts me. she did leave her boots here, she might want them back. it was a fantastic weekend, hopefully she thought the same - she must have done (musn't she?) seeing as how she had sex with me

Ditto what reservoirdog said. I wouldn't expect an immediate reply this early on. Definitely don't call right now, and just wait it out a few days to see what she does. I've tried dating sites myself in the past and it's not uncommon for things to flare up and fizzle out more quickly than when meeting people in real life. Not that it's bad to meet them online, necessarily, just that it can sometimes be an accelerated process.

In my experience... yes, you're doomed. But I'm a really small sample.

Try and slow things way down. At this point your "relationship" is purely sexual... and lust is very fickle and often short-lived.

does anyone think it was wrong to send the text message?

How did she manage to spend 24 hours with you when she has 3 children to take care of?

I don't think you were wrong to send the text message. But her non-response was a clear signal. It's pretty lame of her to pretend nothing happened. She could be honest with you. But you're better off not expecting it. Or anything else.

I hope you didn't fall for her.

If nothing else, she'll be searching for her boots. And if she doesn't, then you have some nice boots to give your next girlfriend for Christmas.

How did she manage to spend 24 hours with you when she has 3 children to take care of?

She has three little kids and she spent the night getting drunk and having sex with a stranger? And you're worried about whether she'll call?

She always has the weekends free because the ex-husband (well soon to be) has them at the weekends, and if its not him, its someone else as she has stacks of friends and good parents. What did the poster who says "and you worry about whether she'll call" mean in the context of this?

Moimeme is questioning her responsibility. There is lots of baggage here and she is on the rebound. Time to move on.

Originally posted by miggsbucks

i've just spotted that she's left her zip-up boots here!

This is a well known ploy. Great excuse to meet again, so this is what she was planning when she left.

But I agree with what Moimême, Holdon and Johan have said - would you want her?

sorry for just saying "the poster" then, sometimes you forget who it was when you get to this screen to type a reply, thanks for the feedback moimeme - its cos if you go back to the screen, you lose what youve just typed.

well i have just received a reply to my text:-

"hi im well the children are all sick.... did not poison them honest...... ha ha x"

i'm so glad she put the "x" at the end, thats a kiss in case the people in USA and Canada didnt know.

this is maybe evidence of me being so eager, and worryin too much - i'm just so glad she has replied, i know the text doesnt exactly illicit a reponse but a friend and colleague has just said that its a good sign she has replied, irrespective of whether it illicits a response from me. i guess i should leave it a while now before replying.

oops theres another post here, lets have a read..

This is why I say it over and over again. Don't get physical too fast. It's the only way that you will be able to tell if the person really cares about YOU or is just using you for sex.

To be frank, any woman who would hook up with a guy on-line and spend most of the weekend having sex with him has done this before, has no morals and is likely to give you a good strong dose of AIDS or some other STD.

Yet, the nice girls go without dates.

Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo

This is a well known ploy. Great excuse to meet again, so this is what she was planning when she left.

i really do hope so

Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo

But I agree with what Moimême, Holdon and Johan have said - would you want her?

yes most definitely, she was amazing, we clicked so well, she was so lovey-dovey when we were walking round the shops. i cant believe this could just fizzle out because she kept holding my hand all the time and smooching up in public, it was a truly magical weekend, and so wish for it to happen again - it may again this weekend - who knows.. i really do hope so

Originally posted by miggsbucks

i really do hope so

 

i cant believe this could just fizzle out because she kept holding my hand all the time and smooching up in public, it was a truly magical weekend, and so wish for it to happen again - it may again this weekend - who knows.. i really do hope so

Believe it. Maybe it will last, maybe not. Topaze is right.

i came on here last year, and remembered it, and really thought i'd come back on to give me something to do that would stop me contacting her. i'm not sure whether i gave the post the correct heading now, guess i just wanted to babble about my weekend. i wasn't really sure whether i was asking the question correctly, but now i am wondering..

are there any instances of people in succesful relationships who did have sex on the first date?

Read my lips....any woman who has self-respect is not going to respect a bloke who does this sort of thing on the first date. She would NEVER have allowed it. You have to decide what you want....a serious relationship potentially leading to marriage or a roll in the hay. If your intentions are serious, keep your briefs on until you know the person and that takes a LOT longer than 24 hours or 6 as in this case.

yeah i do take on board your opinion topaze, but we were also being very loved up in public as well, so in terms of respect, what does that mean when it comes to love.. so she doesnt respect me and i dont respect her then? so all the PDA's we did were false, because it certainly didnt feel that way for me, and its the first time i've ever done anything like this. and she told me similar, although time will tell whether she has maybe?

any woman who has self-respect is not going to respect a bloke who does this sort of thing on the first date. She would NEVER have allowed it.

And why would you respect her. This is kind of gross, plus the fact that she's a mommy. "Sorry mommy couldn't call you this weekend, she was busy shagging a complete stranger."

we were also being very loved up in public as well, so in terms of respect, what does that mean when it comes to love

I don't understand how PDA shows anything about respect.

To be frank, any woman who would hook up with a guy on-line and spend most of the weekend having sex with him has done this before, has no morals and is likely to give you a good strong dose of AIDS or some other STD.

I agree.

Topaze and Holdon, you may be right. But the way youre putting things make it look all seedy and nasty, which it certainly wasn't.

Well, I'm certainly not sleezy and I had sex with my bf on our first "real" date. True, we had met at a coffee shop and talked for a couple of hours and then talked more over the phone and email for a couple of weeks but still on the real first date I didn't go home until three o clock in the morning.

I did it because there was incredible chemistry. Maybe this girl wanted to hook up for sex but felt a connection after they slept together and she wants to explore it. I'm a nice girl- but who says nice girls can't be in touch with their sexuality just like men are? As long as everyone is practicing safe sex.

My BF and I have been together for almost six months and we are planning on getting married soon. I asked him the other night what kept our date from being a ONS (which I have never had) and he said, "Because we had such chemistry and I enjoyed your company so much"

I'd say there are exceptions to every rule. It's a stereotype to say that girls who sleep with guys on the first date are all sluts. Now, I will confess the internet cam thing freaked me out, but that's just me.

Originally posted by miggsbucks

yeah i do take on board your opinion topaze, but we were also being very loved up in public as well, so in terms of respect, what does that mean when it comes to love.. so she doesnt respect me and i dont respect her then? so all the PDA's we did were false, because it certainly didnt feel that way for me, and its the first time i've ever done anything like this. and she told me similar, although time will tell whether she has maybe?

She hasn't responded to any of your requests for communication. Her silence speaks volumes. The fact that she was RIGHT BACK on-line but didn't choose to communicate with you is an important clue that this is par for the course with her. If you want to try an experiment (it's a bit sneaky though) create a fake profile with a fake photo and try to see if she will communicate with you and agree to see you. Her response will be telling.