Should I tell

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

Right this may be a bit long so bear with me:

 

3 Years ago i started a new job, from day one this bloke (we'll call him Alfie) caught my eye and vica versa. on a night out we got closer and ended up kissing i thought it was a drunken snog as we were both married. well as you can guess 3 years down the line we still fool around, i left my husband (not because of alfie) but he's still with his wife. we have never actually had sex more of me giving oral and only about 3 times in 3 years him doing something to me.

 

We all went out last week and after a few drinks i told him i loved him, he said that if he wasnt married i'd be with him (although i said he was lying) he then told me he loved me (he was flirting and making comments to my mate as well) he's cheated on his wife twice (she's a bit of a mad woman who wont mind throwting a few punches) she told him if he cheats once more she'll kick him out for good. he's a serial flirt and wont mind straying. the thing is i have his home number and his wife's mobile number.

 

i'm going away in jan/feb and am tempted to text her while there from a different number (so he wont expect me) and tell her he's cheating. i am totally head over heels in love with him and have been for 3 years i cant stop doing things with him cos we work together and i love my job so dont want to leave.

[noforgiveness]

So you love this man?? The way you want to prove your love is by betraying him to his wife?? Secretly of course. You want to destroy his marriage because you love him? Cause him much emotional heartache??

 

Granted his marriage probably isn't great since he is out messing around although in three years you haven't gotten him in bed, but you want to play fate with his marriage?

 

Does he have kids?

 

That is NOT how you love someone.

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

Yes he has 2 kids 18 and 14. He don't love his wife as she is a bit psycho. And yes i do love him and have done for 3 years

[Sal Paradise]

I think you need to find your own man and stop trying to steal someone elses. Don't be a pathetic home wrecker. Get some frickin' self respect and stop sitting at his table like a dog waiting for table scraps.

 

I know it sounds harsh but you need to wake up and realize what the hell you're doing.

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

i know what i'm doing.... you think i aint tried to find someone else cos i'm telling you i have and no one interests me like he does.... he's one of my best mates as well as a 'lover'

[Kinger25]

Do NOT text his wife whilst you are away. I understand your feelings for this man and although this is a situation that I would never let myself get into, I do appreciate that we are all human and sometimes our feelings cannot be dismissed.

 

But really - do you want to be the reason for the break up of his marriage. I mean, if he decides to leave his wife for you then fair enough, thats on him, but you should not play god with his life. You knew he was married from the beginning and you still continued to mess around with this guy, so its not as though he has suddenly dropped the bombshell on you that he's got a wife. Anyway, if she's such a physco then I wouldn't like to be in your shoes if she finds out that you are the OW. And your guy is going to know that its you that has texted her even if you do use a different number.

 

Just leave him alone, if he continues to be your lover and you his then the owness is on him. I dont agree with what you are both doing but I am not so stupid as to not realise that this sort of thing is going on all over the world and there is nothing that any of us can do to stop it.

 

Let him make his own decisions and get on with your life at the same time. Believe me I have seen this before, if you do text his wife and tell her there is a good chance that when he finds out it was you, he will end up resenting you and your "relationship" will be over anyway. The guys a natural flirt and I dont imagine that you are the only other woman that he has got, he's probably seeing other people aswell as you, especially since you have not managed to bed him yet. He must have someone else on the go for sex.

 

Think about your actions and the consequences of them before you go blowing everything (excuse the pun!)

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

he aint seeing anyone else i know that for a fact. he wont know it is me as we aint got each others numbers (she goes through his phone every day so he wont allow it) i went through his phone once while he was in a meeting and got the numbers which i've had over a year and done nothing. thanks for your comments but i think i will do it

[Guest]

if this is something directed my way or not?

 

 

 

 

 

Hello all-

 

I have never been a member of a forum until now. I have a story to tell and am looking for advice because I am lost and bitter and heart broken.

 

I seperated from my wife of 11 years almost a year ago. Due to her lack of common sense, she got herself into a bit of a legal snag. To make a long story short we can not be divorced until her legal issues are solved. My story is not about her however.

 

I met someone who became my best friend and eventually my lover. I now know that I have never truly been in love before due to the way I feel for her. I have given her everything I can and do everything I can for her. We moved in together 8 months ago and fell in love. We talked about marriage and are going to get married as soon as ex's legal problems were over. I so want to be her husband and take care of her and love her forever.

 

I made a commitment to her and she to me. I have never cheated on a girl friend or wife. I am one of the last faithful men or so I am told.

 

In October, we had a fight. She went to a party that night and ended up F'ing an ex boyfriend. I asked her if she had cheated on me the next day and several times after and she said no. I thought everything was OK. Everything was absolutely wonderful after we sat and talked things over.

 

Two weeks ago she called me from work to tell me she was pregnant, I was shocked as I am almost incapable of having children and she has had problems with her system too. We have had unprotected sex for a year. I was also happy though because I love her dearly and there is no one I would rather have a child with but her. She then proceeded to ask me how much I loved her and I replied "more than anything in the whole world". She told me that there was a possibility that the child was not mine!

 

**** hit the fan, I puked I was so torn inside. I have never had anyone kill me inside the way she did. I truly have a broken heart. She left for a day while I cooled down. All I wanted from her was the name of the F'ker that she did this with but she will not tell me. Why is she protecting him?

 

It turns out the child is mine. She took a morning after pill after being with this guy and jump started her cycle somehow. My 3 percent chance of getting a woman pregnant became 100%!

 

She told me that when we had the fight she thought it was over?? She went to a party, drank a bit, called this guy up, went to a bar with him, went back to the party with him and proceeded to be unfaithful to me. She not only bit the hand that feeds her, she tore it off and beat me to death with it!

 

She lied about it and continued to live under my roof and sleep with me. I am totally nuts about all of this! I can't sleep and I hardly eat. I told her I forgive her. I do forgive her because she is the mother of my child.

 

What I want to know is:

 

How do I ever trust her again?

How do I get rid of the hate and bitterness inside of me?

How do I marry her and raise a family with her when I think she will just go out and do this again someday?

How do I mend a shattered heart?

 

I am dying inside and do not know what to do about it. I would like to find this other guy and vent a little rage on him if you know what I mean. I think that would help a lot.

 

Please help me if you can?

[Guest]

there is nothing that can not be discussed and no matter what it is, myself included, personally, there is nothing that would cause anger or bad behaviour - i just what to remove a past that blocks things and u do that by releasing its hold on u

 

i hope that reassures and calms - because we all have to face the past before we can live a future

 

i have a few things still in my closet and i don't fear explaining them because there is nothing to lose only things to gain

 

just my 2 cents

[Kinger25]

Not being funny, but if you already knew that you are going to do it then why did you come on here and ask whether you should or not?

 

I think you are making a very big mistake but its your life not mine so it doesn't effect me either way.

 

Good Luck. I hope things work out for you.

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

the thing is kinger is i really want him as he is one of my best mates as well. no offence guest but can you start a new thread and not come on mine

[whichwayisup]

he aint seeing anyone else i know that for a fact. he wont know it is me as we aint got each others numbers (she goes through his phone every day so he wont allow it) i went through his phone once while he was in a meeting and got the numbers which i've had over a year and done nothing. thanks for your comments but i think i will do it

 

He's a serial cheater, lies to his wife and you want to tell her so you can have him for yourself? Good luck as you're going to need it. He WILL cheat on you some day seeing as he's a serial cheater. I can't believe you actually believe all that comes out of his mouth too. DO you think you're the only OW in his life???

 

It isn't your place to tell his wife. Let him deal with his marriage, and his children. Remember there are consquences to actions, so be prepared for the sheeyt to hit the fan either way. Oh and Karma is a beeyotch too, so be aware.

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

why shouldnt she know?????

[whichwayisup]

Because it is NOT your place to tell her. You're doing it for selfish reasons!

You are interferring in their life so you can have her husband for yourself.

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

but i think she should know what he's up too

[Girlygirl74]

If your mind is SO made up...then why are you posting this thread in more than one place??

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t107431/

 

 

Get a grip.

[whichwayisup]

Again, it is NOT your place to decide that. Just because YOU think this, doesn't mean it has to happen. Plus, this probably will backfire in your face, and he'll dump you SO fast then try to repair his marriage.

[stillafool]

For someone who doesn't care what others think you have posted this in two segments here on LS. I think you should spend your time taking a grammar class and leave this guy alone. He is clearly not interested in you for anything other than oral sex. I can guarantee you if you tell his wife he won't leave her, at least not for you. You really are like the dog who sits by the table waiting for his wife's scraps. If you are so intent on telling his wife why hide who you are from her? Tell the truth and all of it. Let her know that her husband only wants you for oral sex and hasn't even thought enough of you to meet your sexual needs. You say he doesn't love his wife - how can you believe a cheater and liar like him?

Of course he isn't going to say "I love my wife and family and would never leave them, now will you blow me". She's probably the only woman he does love (in his sick way) and if she left him he would crumble like cake. What you can be sure of is he doesn't love you. You are very selfish to want to upset his wife and kids by telling her. Mind your own business and get a life.

[NoIDidn't]

I don't think this is real. What self-respecting woman would admit to giving BJs and not getting anything in return but 3 times in 3 years. That's funny. Really.

 

I say, tell her and find out the truth of what he thinks of you.

[Guest]

Listen! I understand your position, I am in the same situation myself. He says he loves me but can't leave his wife because of his daughter. I now have a son with him, and the amount of BULL that I get from him is amazing.

 

I still see him, we have made love millions of times, I love this man, but I know deep in my heart that he will never leave his wife..... you know why??? Because he knows that I will never put up with all the crap that she does. If he does to me what he has done to her for 2 1/2 years he is out for good.

 

I know what it is to fall in love for the 1st time with someone, and I don't mean 1st love, but IN LOVE.... you can love a lot of people, but you can fall in love only once in your life. It's when everyday seems useless without him.

 

I wanted to tell his wife,,,,, but why will I stand a woman that is bitchyyy all the time. I don't want an x wife bothering me, insulting me, and humiliating me all the time. He can keep her, I keep my son, I will see him until I get tired of him.... I move on to better things in life, and he keeps living his hell.

 

Think about it... at the end you will see that she get's the jerk and you get the memories of a great lover. A man that changed your world. At least you can say that you have been in love.... you think she can say the same???

 

I wish you luck!

[LakesideDream]

What a couple of class act's! Best blokes and blowjobs too.

 

A real 21st Century Love Affair. Great start for the new year too... have at it, the two of you deserve each other.

[whichwayisup]

I just feel bad for those poor innocent children who DID NOT ASK to be brought into the world with so much selfishness, cruelity and confusion about them. That is what bugs me about reading these types of threads. As far as the ADULTS are concerned - I am not going to comment as it won't be very nice.............

[lorr]

I just feel bad for those poor innocent children who DID NOT ASK to be brought into the world with so much selfishness, cruelity and confusion about them. That is what bugs me about reading these types of threads. As far as the ADULTS are concerned - I am not going to comment as it won't be very nice.............

 

100% with you on that one. One word comes to mind "Pathetic"

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

what the **** do you lot know. you dont know me so dont ****ing judge me

[lorr]

what the **** do you lot know. you dont know me so dont ****ing judge me

 

LMAO:lmao: Looks like we've hit a raw nerve. Why with all the obscenties?

We may not know you personally and frankly wouldn't care to.

But your post factually and truly says it all:

Must be nice and comforting for you to have the pathetic loser of a man servicing your mouth like a petrol/gas station.

 

After a few weeks is that all you can say! Did you really think that you would get the big thumbs up?

 

(Oh please you need to come better than that)