Karen_A_Martin Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 My 15 year old son is girl crazy, but is just beginning to learn the steps involved in dating a young woman, and is understandly quite awkward at this stage. He went to a dance a few nights ago, and apparently was able to establish a nice rapport with one of the girls there. She also happens to be a girl he's very interested in. Well, I guess he mistook her frendliness for romantic interest, and decided to plant a kiss on her. She was taken aback and became quite upset. She exclaimed, "Michael, I thought you were my friend!", and then she gave him a crisp slap on his cheek. He feels really bad for a whole slew of reasons. He feels ashamed that he got his face slapped by a girl, and now lacks confidence about his touch with the ladies. He feels even worse that he made her so upset. He's also disappointed that she didn't see him as more than a friend, but would hate to lose her as a friend. I gave him some consolation and support, but would like to hear what advice you would offer him as well. I was also teasing him that he shouldn't feel too bad...he achieved two rites of passage into manhood, in quick succession - his first kiss and his first slap ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 What a harsh thing to happen to a guy who is only just starting out! Poor little guy. He sounds like a gentleman. Young girls these days are so much more self assured than they were when I was 15. When I was 15 ANY male attention was great!! The object of his affections clearly doesn't know that her "friendliness" has been misinterpreted, (common mistake at that age) and she has probably been unwittingly leading him on a merry dance. I would reassure him as much as you can, and encourage him NOT to give up on girls.. hes probably going to suffer a few more setbacks till he finds "the one"... but to maybe establish whether the girl in question in interested first. A cheesy "may I kiss you" line might not go down so well with women of a certain vintage, but wiht 15 year old girls it may go down better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karen_A_Martin Posted March 4, 2007 Author Share Posted March 4, 2007 <<What a harsh thing to happen to a guy who is only just starting out! Poor little guy. He sounds like a gentleman.>> Yes, it is harsh, but perhaps necessary, and I think there's a silver lining here. I must say that as a mother I'm beaming with pride in how he reacted. Rather than being angry with the girl for slapping him, as many boys that age would, he felt a deep sense of shame for having offended her, and he was much more concerned about her feelings than his sore cheek ;-) That shows a great deal of maturity, and downright, old-fashioned chivalry. <<The object of his affections clearly doesn't know that her "friendliness" has been misinterpreted, (common mistake at that age) and she has probably been unwittingly leading him on a merry dance.>> Well, he's confessed that he probably read a bit too much into her words, and he was acting more on his over-active teen hormones than on common sense. It turns out that she's a very pretty, petite girl who happens to be quite "well endowed", though only 15 years old. <<Young girls these days are so much more self assured than they were when I was 15.>> Indeed, she can certainly take care of herself, and I have to admire her classy, "retro" approach ;-) I had always thought "the slap" was mostly a relic of the past, but perhaps it's still used by women today when men get fresh. She did show restraint, and was careful not to really hurt him...just a quick flick of the wrist that stung a little. I think the embarrassment factor was much greater than the pain. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Still, the slap isn't something that should be doled out on a regular basis, esp in this "sensational" day and age where even the most minimal of physical contact can be classed as "abuse".... (am rolling my eyes). She wants to be careful! Of course, I am on DonJuans side here so am affronted on his behalf. I think he has dealt with it admirably too. Oh the teenage hormones.... wouldn't go back to that time for all the money in the world. eek. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karen_A_Martin Posted March 4, 2007 Author Share Posted March 4, 2007 <<Still, the slap isn't something that should be doled out on a regular basis, esp in this "sensational" day and age where even the most minimal of physical contact can be classed as "abuse".... (am rolling my eyes). She wants to be careful!>> Oh, I agree. But this was a very a specific case...an unwelcomed advance. I really don't think she's the type to go around smacking people left and right. I've heard she's quite mature and one of the top students in her class. While the PC crowd might classify something like this as "assault", my son considered it pretty much an afterthought. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Don't worry I won't tell the PC crowd. Link to post Share on other sites
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