oh fer the love of crap

[My Fair Katie]

My Fair Husband is a turd burger with cheese.

 

In the broad spectrum of life this is probably a petty issue, but it rather nicely sums up our marriage.

 

Last night the hubs decided we should weed through our DVD collection as it is getting a bit too large. We both choose some movies to part with and when all was said and done we had a nice collection of over 50 DVDs. I asked him if he planned on selling the DVDs to EB Games so he can buy new video games (you sell them back and they put the money on this EB Game card he has and he uses it towards future purchases in the store). He said yes. I said (with a smile) "Great, but I get a new pair of shoes."

 

His face turned stone-cold. "Do you need a new pair of shoes?" I was honest, still smiling, "No, do you need a new video game?"

 

He told me that he already agreed that I could get a new pair of running shoes. Now, the running shoes I have are quite old and currently when I'm running the ball of my foot goes numb after about a mile or so, so I was going to go to our local foot solutions and be fitted for a new pair. I consider this somewhat of a necessity.

 

I'm stewing a bit, because those aren't just his DVDs, some are mine, and why should only he benefit from selling them back?

 

He grabbed a stack of DVDs and left the room. He came back and said, "Fine, you're right. I don't need another video game."

 

Here I stew even more. To me this means that he'd rather deprive himself of a video game then to "let me" have a new pair of shoes. BTW, at this point my anger isn't exactly about the shoes.

 

He takes another stack, says "Are you mad?" I say, "Yes." When he returns this time he says, "You know, you're an adult, you don't need my permission to buy shoes, when I want a video game I don't ask you." He did not say this in a friendly manner.

 

Now, he does make a point here, except, I get the third degree whenever I buy something for myself. I should point out, that I actually do not have a lot of shoes (compared to most women) and the shoes I do have tend to be uncomfortable payless shoes (with the exception of two pairs of Doc Martens that I had before I met him, my foot numbing sneakers, and a pair of Mary Janes). The last time I came home with a pair of shoes he started yelling at me in front of my girlfriend. Now these shoes were $10. From Payless. And the money came from my paycheck. After his embarrassing tirade I told him this and instead of an apology he whined, "Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Well, maybe ask next time you ass. Also to put this in perspective, the week before he came home with every season of the original Transformers cartoons on DVD (at $50 a pop).

 

I wanna clobber him. Preferably with the heel of a very expensive pair of shoes.

[a4a]

*A4A hands Katie the Fork

 

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh.

 

I have no advice but only use the Fork when it is truly warranted..... keep the tines sharp and straight, and make it a quick kill.

[pelagicsands]

I wanna clobber him. Preferably with the heel of a very expensive pair of shoes.

He'll never know the difference. And you might damage the shoe. Choose something else that means nothing to you.

 

Besides, the use of the stiletto heel as torture is frowned upon in the fourth Geneva Convention.

 

PS: Cheese is a huge mitigating factor.

[My Fair Katie]

*A4A hands Katie the Fork

 

He'll never know the difference. And you might damage the shoe. Choose something else that means nothing to you.

 

Of course. You are both right. I will use the Fork while wearing a stunning pair of comfortable heels that fit like a glove, a feather boa, a smile, and precious little else.

 

If it makes a difference, the cheese is Vieux Boulogne.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vieux-Boulogne

[a4a]

He'll never know the difference. And you might damage the shoe. Choose something else that means nothing to you.

 

Besides, the use of the stiletto heel as torture is frowned upon in the fourth Geneva Convention.

 

PS: Cheese is a huge mitigating factor.

 

Your are right my pachyderm friend.......

 

You should not risk a shoe. So shove a Video Game controller where the sun don't shine instead.

 

Of course there is always the standard option of - Pooping in his shoe.

 

He was a turd burger indeed.

[My Fair Katie]

You should not risk a shoe.

 

Plus with my luck it'd probably come to light that he has a hidden trample fetish.

 

Of course there is always the standard option of - Pooping in his shoe. [\QUOTE]

 

Hmm, who's up for some Mexican for lunch. My treat.

 

He was a turd burger indeed.

 

With cheese.

[pelagicsands]

If it makes a difference, the cheese is Vieux Boulogne.

It even beat Epoisses de Bourgogne, a cheese so smelly it is banned from being taken on public transport in its native France.

:lmao:

[melodymatters]

Eeeww ! The worst part about this is when he chastised you in front of your friend like a naughty child ! That is SO not acceptable ! Fork on !

[Enema]

Where does the money come from?

 

Do you have a joint bank account where both of your incomes go, or does it come from your own personal account and you both pay 50/50 on the bills when they're due?

 

Can't think of a valid reason he can get angry at you about this, unless you're leaving something out ;)

[My Fair Katie]

Where does the money come from?

 

The money tree.

 

Do you have a joint bank account where both of your incomes go

 

Yep. My Fair Turd Burger (with Cheese) thinks seperate accounts for married people is "stupid."

 

Can't think of a valid reason he can get angry at you about this, unless you're leaving something out ;)

 

Neither can I. He gets angry about stupid crap though. Like the dog bowls.

 

"I hate where you have the dog bowls." Then move them dear, they're not married to the spot they're in. "Why did you put the f'ing dog bowls were you put them?" Because there was room there, move them, I won't mind I promise. "Mother f'ing dog bowls are such a pain the ass."

 

He never did move them, just b**ched and moaned for a good half an hour about how I choose the DUMBEST spot in the ENTIRE 2300 square feet of our house to put a dog bowl.

[Enema]

Why are you with him again? I forget.

[My Fair Katie]

Why are you with him again? I forget.

 

So do I.

 

Quack, quack, quack. That's the sound of ducks lining up.

[a4a]

The money tree.

 

 

 

Yep. My Fair Turd Burger (with Cheese) thinks seperate accounts for married people is "stupid."

 

 

 

Neither can I. He gets angry about stupid crap though. Like the dog bowls.

 

"I hate where you have the dog bowls." Then move them dear, they're not married to the spot they're in. "Why did you put the f'ing dog bowls were you put them?" Because there was room there, move them, I won't mind I promise. "Mother f'ing dog bowls are such a pain the ass."

 

He never did move them, just b**ched and moaned for a good half an hour about how I choose the DUMBEST spot in the ENTIRE 2300 square feet of our house to put a dog bowl.

 

 

oh you so need your own fun money accts.

 

and put those dog bowls on the floor next to his side of the bed. Let him wake up to a foot full of Alpo.

 

I still say poop in his shoes.

[pelagicsands]

He never did move them, just b**ched and moaned for a good half an hour about how I choose the DUMBEST spot in the ENTIRE 2300 square feet of our house to put a dog bowl.

The dogs should eat at the table. I mean, aren't they part of your family, too? Problem solved.

 

Actually, the dog bowls are a metaphor. I have no idea what they might be a metaphor for, though. Is he kind of miffed that he has to use a knife and fork?

[pelagicsands]

Yep. My Fair Turd Burger (with Cheese) thinks seperate accounts for married people is "stupid."

This is beautiful. My money is your money.

 

Maybe you are overreacting. Concentrate on the cheese, and not the turd.

[My Fair Katie]

Maybe you are overreacting. Concentrate on the cheese, and not the turd.

 

The turd just wants to put his meat in my buns.

[bab]

You know what the truely frustrating part is? He probably thinks you are mad over not getting new shoes.

[a4a]

You know what the truely frustrating part is? He probably thinks you are mad over not getting new shoes.

 

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

[pelagicsands]

seperate

truely

Come on, people - let's lift our game. I don't think I can put up with much more of this crap.

 

Did I hear that someone wanted some meat in their buns? I have a sausage that's ready to go.

[Storyrider]

Money is, of course, a big red button. Our fight last night was about our 8-yr-old's teeth. H. doesn't like our orthodontist. He wants to get a second opinion. Maybe she doesn't need braces now.

 

Reasonable enough. So lets take her to another orthodontist.

 

No, first we need to take her to another dentist. Why? To see if he recommends an orthodontist. Huh? Because if we go straight to an orthodontist, he might be biased towards performing orthodontia.

 

WTF? And who has to co-ordinate all these appointments? Guess.

[pelagicsands]

WTF? And who has to co-ordinate all these appointments? Guess.

I can't believe you're making your 8-yr-old do it. Mind you, there is something to be said for teaching responsibility early.

 

Make sure she doesn't dial Europe by mistake.

[bridget_jones]

I could never be involved with a guy who is into video games. I guess I consider how manly are they if they are sitting around fascinated with the TV screen and pushing buttons.

I guess I am into the guy who goes outside and goes to work and does manly things.

[Mr. Lucky]

Here I stew even more. To me this means that he'd rather deprive himself of a video game then to "let me" have a new pair of shoes. BTW, at this point my anger isn't exactly about the shoes.

Why does any adult need permission to buy shoes? If he's going to be angry anyway, you may as well console yourself with a pair of New Balance 1222's:

 

http://www.nbwebexpress.com/newbalanceW1222WB.htm

 

Mr. Lucky

[rainfall]

I could never be involved with a guy who is into video games. I guess I consider how manly are they if they are sitting around fascinated with the TV screen and pushing buttons.

I guess I am into the guy who goes outside and goes to work and does manly things.

 

There is nothing wrong with a guy being into video games. It can be kinda cute when he gets all excited about something that happened in it.....