Am I the only Proud OW on here?

[Gwyneth]

I'm tired of trying to act like someone I'm not. Yes, I am still with the MM, and proud of it too. I just do not feel Any sympathy for the W. I really do not, and maybe that makes me a Horrible person, which yeah, I'm probably going straight to hell for this, but you know, I just do not care. I have Never done anything bad in my life (no drugs, never stole, never hurt anyone physically...never even got a driving ticket). Maybe this is me embracing risk.

 

I also really do not care what people think about what I'm doing or how I feel. It's my life, it's his life, and it's his marriage--he can be in his marriage how ever he wants. I cannot tell him how to be a husband. He isn't mine to tell.

 

That's just the way it is.

 

I feel the heat rising in here now..but it certainly feels Great to have gotten this out.

 

Does anyone share the same feelings as me? I'm sure some of you women, even OM out there feel the same way.

[Tyra]

No, I don't share the same feelings as you. Just know remember that good old saying,"what goes around comes around". And it'll most definetly be back around. You messing with a married woman husband. You're playing in hot fire!! Yeah, you right, it is your life, but you want to live your life as long as possible before that wife take you out.

[Gwyneth]

I'm not at all worried about her. I've been through it all--cheating, lying...so I have had the worst already hit me.

[Citizen Erased]

It's obvious you are just wanting to rev up the other women on here, you can hardly expect a pat on the back, so wow congratulations on your life being so superb you have to get attention by bragging of your little conquest

[Meaplus3]

I'm not at all worried about her. I've been through it all--cheating, lying...so I have had the worst already hit me.

 

I'm sorry but I do not think you have had the worst hit you already. Right now you have what you want and that's mm. Expect the worse to be the day that he will wake up and realize that he's no longer a player in the A and it's over, because that will be your "Worst"!

 

AP:)

[Ocean-Blue]

I also really do not care what people think about what I'm doing or how I feel. It's my life, it's his life, and it's his marriage--he can be in his marriage how ever he wants. I cannot tell him how to be a husband. He isn't mine to tell.

 

So why the need to declare all of this on a forum?

[hollaxatholly]

I'm sorry but I do not think you have had the worst hit you already. Right now you have what you want and that's mm. Expect the worse to be the day that he will wake up and realize that he's no longer a player in the A and it's over, because that will be your "Worst"!

 

AP:)

 

 

definitely agree to that....you don't know the worst until that day comes....just try to prepare yourself, it came at me completely unexpected...hopefully it doesn't happen to you but just prepare for it to happen so you won't be shocked if it does...

[sally4sara]

Why would you be proud? He is married and he cheats. He cheats with you. Does that make you special or just the the one willing to lay down with him when he has time to step out? Please...you were just the one willing to over look the fact that he is married. Maybe you haven't noticed, but there seems to be alot of OW on this site. Any number of them could replace you for him.

[White Flower]

I'm tired of trying to act like someone I'm not. Yes, I am still with the MM, and proud of it too. I just do not feel Any sympathy for the W. I really do not, and maybe that makes me a Horrible person, which yeah, I'm probably going straight to hell for this, but you know, I just do not care. I have Never done anything bad in my life (no drugs, never stole, never hurt anyone physically...never even got a driving ticket). Maybe this is me embracing risk.

 

I also really do not care what people think about what I'm doing or how I feel. It's my life, it's his life, and it's his marriage--he can be in his marriage how ever he wants. I cannot tell him how to be a husband. He isn't mine to tell.

 

That's just the way it is.

 

I feel the heat rising in here now..but it certainly feels Great to have gotten this out.

 

Does anyone share the same feelings as me? I'm sure some of you women, even OM out there feel the same way.

 

You know, everyone has their own unique story. Did I feel I needed this A? Yes. Do I feel I'm cheating? No. Do I feel proud? No.

 

I had needs, mostly emotional and some physical, and I got them fulfilled. For this, I do not feel I am "cheating". I asked H to leave; he won't. I don't feel an ounce of guilt. By the way, I would still be entirely satisfied had this only been an EA. I can take care of my physical needs just fine on my own, thank you very much.

 

But I do not feel proud about it. To me, a person takes pride in something they do or believe in. You help a blind woman cross the street and you feel proud of yourself. Also I am proud of my MM in many ways: he is a hero to me on so many levels including personally. Yet, I am not proud of being in a R with a MM. It is not because of shame, as some readers will assume, but it is because there is no merit in it--nothing achieved. As well, I am not proud for being married for as long as I have been. People congratulate us (H and me) all the time for our endurance, but I usually see it as me being a pushover all these years. I cannot be proud of that either. And if MM's W discovered us and felt pain, I would not be proud of that either. This is one of the reasons I accept quick calls from him from the public restrooms that I discuss on another thread.

 

Yes, you're also right about it being his life and his marriage. It is ultimately his responsibility. If my H had something going on (he did have an EA once) I would hold only him responsible. I did not call or hound the OW and make her feel uncomfortable. In fact, I was really very kind to her.

 

I suppose I am proud of myself in one way: I allowed myself this one gift. It may be called a fling, an affair, or whatever. But I will always look upon it as the greatest love of my life. As painful as it has been, it is one of the great experiences of my life.

[OWoman]

I suppose I am proud of myself in one way: I allowed myself this one gift. It may be called a fling, an affair, or whatever. But I will always look upon it as the greatest love of my life. As painful as it has been, it is one of the great experiences of my life.

 

Nicely put, WF! You deserve it, and I wish you much joy with it!

 

For myself - I used to be like Lizzie, several As simultaneously, purely physical, part-time interactions that didn't crowd my space the way Rs with single guys would and did (though some where with SGs too). I was always honest and upfront about it, didn't see it as a source of shame, but it wasn't a source of pride either. It just was. Same as brushing your teeth or going to work.

 

With this MM though things are very different, and I'm very proud of the R we have. Proud that he's leaving his W for me no - he's leaving his W for HIM, as it ought to be. Proud that, of all the women coming on to him all the time, I was the one he finally gave in to? No. Sooner or later that could have happened with anyone, who knows. But I am proud of the R we've built together, the way in which we've brought out each others' finest qualities and the way we've grown as individuals and as a couple, in so many ways. I'm proud of the friendship we've grown, the love we've nurtured, the intellectual engagement we've stimulated and the fun we've brought out of situations that could otherwise have been pretty depressing. I'm proud not just that we found each other but that we co-authored each other and ourselves through our R, in ways neither of us would have dreamt possible.

 

Gwyneth that probably isn't quite what you meant with your thread? Suffice to say I have never felt shame in being an OW - it was always my choice, freely made - and in my current R with MM, I hang my head before no one.

[Woggle]

Does Chris Martin know you are seeing married men?

[Citizen Erased]

Does Chris Martin know you are seeing married men?

 

Yes, please don't make him more of a whiney little bitch then he already his PLEASE Gwyneth

[justice]

Most of the OW who post here are decent human beings.

I really don't understand your need to post about being proud in stealing another woman's husband, no matter what the circumstances are surrounding your relationship with him. Could it be that deep down you aren't as proud of it as you are on the surface? Or maybe you just don't care about hurting another human being? The Karma bus is already on the road..........

[ICallsEmAsISeesEm]

Yup, years ago I felt exactly the way you did. No one else mattered because I was getting what I wanted. Screw everyone else.

 

And then I grew up.

 

I look at things a lot differently now. I actually look past my own nose and understand that anything I do can have an affect on others. If I'm screwing around with someone's husband, then I'm hurting someone else. I don't care who took the vows or who made the promise - MY behavior is still affecting someone ELSE. Period.

 

So yes, years ago when I was more selfish, I saw things the way you do.

[JackJack]

I'm sorry you don't care. It shows alot about your character, and thats usually not a good thing.

[LoisLane]

Holycow! I have never come across someone so proud of herself! The message came across now if that was what you were aiming for. So cocky too.

[PandorasBox]

I would imagine you're not as proud of your self as you would have others believe you are.

 

Tooting ones own horn, and not caring about anyone else, usually comes selfishness and insecurity. I think maybe you're trying to build yourself up in your own eyes and others that you are proud.

 

That is unless you simply do not have a conscious at all, which that is possible too. Either way, one is about as bad as the other.

 

Once you get some self esteem, and start caring about other people than just yourself, I bet you wont feel so "proud".

[LucreziaBorgia]

I've seen plenty of OW on here who were unapologetic OW. They weren't spouting about being "proud". It is apparent in the genuine 'happy OW' posts that they are happy with their situation, and don't want or need any more out of it than they have at the present. They aren't bashing the wife, or complaining about what MM does in his marriage.

 

They live happily in their relationship with a guy who happens to be married, and him being married is simply something they accept.

 

Gwyn, you don't sound proud. You sound angry and hurt that MM won't come clean about you, and won't dump his wife and be with you. That is apparent in your other threads.

 

You are angry with the wife, simply for being his wife. Don't mistake making her your enemy for being "proud".

[child_of_isis]

There are a lot of OW's on here that are in a lot of pain due to MM.

 

I wouldn't rile them too much. As they will be the one's who will be here to pick you up come d-day.

 

Be it discovery or dumping.

[child_of_isis]

Doh!

 

OP's point was not to rile the OW's, but the BS's......

 

 

You are angry with the wife, simply for being his wife. Don't mistake making her your enemy for being "proud".

[Lizzie60]

This time I read the whole thread, LOL... and I have to agree with LB... that's the feeling I got when I read your post... a little bit 'bitter' or angry at the W.

 

But to be honest with you, eventhough I can't say that I'm 'proud' of what I do... I don't really give a hoot. It's just the way it is.

 

You know what's good for you, and if this type of arrangement suits you, well fine... no need to apologize.. it's your life.

 

The only time I find it sad is when the OW falls head over heels for a MM who keeps stringing her about leaving his W and loving her more than everything.

 

I know when they're lying... and the funny thing is when I tell them they're bullsh*tting... they get mad ... LOL... soooo typical.

[Lyssa]

I've seen plenty of OW on here who were unapologetic OW. They weren't spouting about being "proud". It is apparent in the genuine 'happy OW' posts that they are happy with their situation, and don't want or need any more out of it than they have at the present. They aren't bashing the wife, or complaining about what MM does in his marriage.

 

They live happily in their relationship with a guy who happens to be married, and him being married is simply something they accept.

 

Gwyn, you don't sound proud. You sound angry and hurt that MM won't come clean about you, and won't dump his wife and be with you. That is apparent in your other threads.

 

You are angry with the wife, simply for being his wife. Don't mistake making her your enemy for being "proud".

 

I couldn't agree more!!! Nicely put, LB!

[child_of_isis]

She tried to steal him but couldn't. He won't leave W. And he doesn't even have the "child" excuse.

 

The truth is...she is hurting.

 

And instead of blaming MM, she is blaming BS for not throwing him out.

 

 

 

Most of the OW who post here are decent human beings.

I really don't understand your need to post about being proud in stealing another woman's husband, no matter what the circumstances are surrounding your relationship with him. Could it be that deep down you aren't as proud of it as you are on the surface? Or maybe you just don't care about hurting another human being? The Karma bus is already on the road..........

[PandorasBox]

She tried to steal him but couldn't. He won't leave W. And he doesn't even have the "child" excuse.

 

 

Sounds like things are not going to change and not working in her favor then. Would be pointless to carry on a relationship with him if he has no plans of leaving his wife, that is assuming that's why she is upset. Seems to me she would continue to be upset or angry if he has no plans to leave. That doesn't sound like a great way to live.

[frannie]

I'm tired of trying to act like someone I'm not. Yes, I am still with the MM, and proud of it too. I just do not feel Any sympathy for the W. I really do not, and maybe that makes me a Horrible person, which yeah, I'm probably going straight to hell for this, but you know, I just do not care. I have Never done anything bad in my life (no drugs, never stole, never hurt anyone physically...never even got a driving ticket). Maybe this is me embracing risk.

 

I also really do not care what people think about what I'm doing or how I feel. It's my life, it's his life, and it's his marriage--he can be in his marriage how ever he wants. I cannot tell him how to be a husband. He isn't mine to tell.

 

That's just the way it is.

 

I feel the heat rising in here now..but it certainly feels Great to have gotten this out.

 

Does anyone share the same feelings as me? I'm sure some of you women, even OM out there feel the same way.

 

I can understand why you said you'd ended things with MM in your other thread, Gwyneth. You're not the only OW on here who's done the same (lied about ending it, lied about him leaving) due to the immense pressure on, and lack of support for OW on this forum.

 

But I wouldn't go too far in the other direction. Claiming loud and proud that you just don't care what other people think of your situation... ok... that you're 'proud' of it, and you're unconcerned about his W..?

 

I don't know whether you really don't care about his W, or what is going on but you don't sound 'proud'... more as I think someone else said, unashamed... or something along those lines. But I can't imagine you're really a 'horrible person' or 'going straight to hell'... it sounds like a reaction to LS to me. Sorry if that sounds condescending, because it's not meant to !

 

I don't feel the way you say you feel here in this OP. I don't feel 'proud' of being an OW, I do care about his W, and I wish he'd do something about it. BUT... I'm not ending it because of those issues. If I ended it it would be because I'm unhappy and it's doing nothing for me. Does that make me a less 'horrible' person than you, in anyone else's eyes..? I don't know, and to be honest I really don't care.

 

I have made the choice to be in this relationship, and I will make the choice to end it. And that will be based on my personal morality, my needs, my view of and feelings for my MM, and what I feel about myself when I look in the mirror.

 

As you say, "it's my life".