brokenhearteddad Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 My wife & I have been married 1 year, together 2. After our daughter was born (11mo ago), I worked days, she worked nights & we only saw each other 5 min/day. I told her that we should rearrange work schedules to work on our marriage. I know that you all do not know the dynamics of my situation and every relationship is different. I actually told her I would quit my job and would work at McDonals if I needed to to work on our marriage. She was willing to leave her job and stay at home and spend more time with our daughter and myself until we could get back on the same page in our marriage. She put in her notice and a week before she was to leave, she told me that she wasn't ready to quit. I said no problem, but we really should try & make time to see each other more even if it were one more day or night for ourselves. Everything went down hill from there. She started getting angry & mean to me & about a month or so later she said we need to separate. Well, a week after we separated she started seeing a guy that drives in from Knoxville to Nashville 170 miles away each day to pick up a load of computers (where she works) to take to back to Knoxville (where he also lives). She is 24, he's 42 twice divorced, with a few kids, Im a 35, devoted, loving husband, in good shape and a good father and provider. I met hom one time when I went to her work to take her to lunch. He is quite overweight and balding. I am not perfect by any means, but likely an upgrade from what she left me for. I understand that looks are not the most important, but attraction to your partner is a key component. She now blames me for everything and anything & says that she doesnt love me like she did and when our daughter was born she changed. I always treated her well, dont cheat, yell, abuse her. I told her I loved her at least 10 times a day. I send flowers and I am responsible. Asked her to go to counselling and she said no. It has been 2 months since I moved out and she says that she may be falling in love with this guy, which kills me. She talks to me like she hates me now and has so much anger towards me for no reason. I am sure the blame and the anger towards me is a way for her to feel better about what she is doing. I tried everything and cried while litterally begging her to work on our marriage and she sighed and got angry that I told her that I loved her and missed her. I am not a pushover and don't cry often, but I do believe that marriage and commitment are forever and not easy. Again, I am not saying at all that I am a perfect husband, but I was very good to her and treated her well. Is the blame she is puting on me normal? She has no friends at all and has had only bad relationships in the past until she and I met. Her mother conditioned her poorly by preaching to her growing up that her and her fathers marriage was miserable and that she should never stay in a marriage if it is not perfect, which is unrealsitic for sure. I imagine that she will have to realize that the "Grass is not greener on the other side". I believe she took the easy way out by pushing marriage issues aside to be with someone that tells her great things. I do accept responsibility, but she is laying the blame on heavier every day which she is trying to keep herself angry at me I guess. It would be easier without a child in the picture, so I have to speak with her. I try to keep the topic on our daughter but it somehow turns into her getting angry over absolutely nothing. I miss her and love her completely and I am devastated and lost. I am trying to find strength to move on but I have had many tear filled nights missing her and my daughter. Any advice would be great. I did file for divorce last week. Sorry for the lengthy post. Link to post Share on other sites
Jade 02 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 (edited) Hi Broken dad, I am so sorry you have to go threw this,and I know it hurts,I too am going threw some crap,we just gotta hold our heads up,and know what good peeps we are,and certainly hold yourslf together. I know its hard,and I feel so bad for you cuz you put so much effort in your marraige. I dont have any answers but I sure can be here to try and cheer you up. Will you be seeing you baby soon? I know it hurts,and I dont know what to say to get your woman back,but you are soooooo right the grass is never greener on the othr side,and hopefully for you she will see that,and then when she coms crawling back,you might be happy inlove by then again cuz ya sound like an awesome man. Hugz BDad Edited January 30, 2008 by Jade 02 My pc has no Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 So sorry this is happening. They always turn mean and ugly when there is someone else in the picture. My husband is the same way. And begging and pleading does not help. They amazingly have deaf ears when it comes to that. The only suggestion I would say is cry when you need to, treat yourself well, talk to your friends and be the best for your daughter you can be. It hurts like heck and I know, it is 4 months for me and I still feel like I am dying everyday but I post here and it helps to have a place to vent your hurt and frustration. Good luck with everything and keep posting! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhearteddad Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 all of the stages of heartbreak with this and still to this day, I continue to miss her and love her. I hate what she has done and how she is treating me lately, but I am puzzled at how I can still feel as strong about her as I do considering what she has done. I have been through relationships and heartbreaks before, but this is different and far tougher that anything I could have ever imagined. Link to post Share on other sites
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