lesbian couple. do you think she cheated? how do i get over it. do i?

[ntrahqit]

what would you do if after 6 months of being in a committed relationship you find out that only a few weeks before you and your partner are made things official that he/she had sexual relations with someone else because they thought you two would never be together.

 

1-you had everything but the title and felt secure in your position.

2-this person proclaimed they only wanted you but actions said otherwise.

3-your partner says it wasnt technically cheating because things were not made "exclusive".

4-you will have known this person for a year and are now in love and wanted to know but dont think it was a good idea.

5-she/he says they are in love with you and you love him/her.

6-it hurts like hell to know what this person did and youre emotionally stuck/confused.

7-we were dating 5 months (seemingly exclusively) before this person started talkin to anyone else and made it clear, although not particularly exclusive that we werent "just friends".

8-i didnt mess around with anyone else.

 

what would you do?

how do i get over it?

do i end the relationship?

help.

 

if you need more details i will let you know.

or just read my other thread.

[Geishawhelk]

what would you do if after 6 months of being in a committed relationship you find out that only a few weeks before you and your partner are made things official that he/she had sexual relations with someone else because they thought you two would never be together.

 

1-you had everything but the title and felt secure in your position.

2-this person proclaimed they only wanted you but actions said otherwise.

Not so.... if the realtionship didn't strictly speaking exist, then strictly speaking you were both still free agents....

3-your partner says it wasnt technically cheating because things were not made "exclusive".

Agreed.

4-you will have known this person for a year and are now in love and wanted to know but dont think it was a good idea.

5-she/he says they are in love with you and you love him/her.

6-it hurts like hell to know what this person did and youre emotionally stuck/confused.

7-we were dating 5 months (seemingly exclusively) before this person started talkin to anyone else and made it clear, although not particularly exclusive that we werent "just friends".

8-i didnt mess around with anyone else.

 

You're confusing the issues here.

You're citing their actions, and muddling them together with your emotions....

 

what would you do?

Drop it, let go and get over it.

how do i get over it?

You let bygones be bygones. Who cares about then? Focus on now!

do i end the relationship?

Why?

[ntrahqit]

thanks.

i see what you're saying.

we've talked about it

and though it still hurts,

i am gonna drop it.

 

i have to in order for this

relationship to work.

 

 

thanks,

again.

[Chinook]

In addition to what Geishawhelk has said here, I think you have another issue which you need to be mindful of: communication. This issue has thrown up that you guys weren't on the same page. You thought it didn't need to be said that things were exclusive, but your GF obviously needed that defined sign post. It's probably a good idea to iron these things out beforehand or as soon as you can because currently you're feeling the hurt they can cause and your GF is probably feeling guilt when she thought she wasn't doing anything wrong.

 

Good luck to you guys.

[ntrahqit]

thanks chinook, you are definitely right.

 

communication was lacking and its was one of the main reasons for the issue even taking place.