johan Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I can't help but lose regard for someone I've been involved with who gets involved with someone else after our relationship ends. I'm not saying I'm right. It's just how I feel. It doesn't matter how it ends. I remember the good times we had and the uproar when we parted. The implication at the time was that I was significant. It makes me wonder if they were honest, with me and/or with themselves. Was I really that important? And what does this new person mean to her in the big picture? Is this new guy who she should really be with? Maybe not. Seems like she was disingenuous at some point. Either when she was with me or now with him. Or both. Or would I have been a mistake? If I had chosen to stay and she ran across this guy, would she be wondering about him? Would she leave me for him? Or maybe she'd remain faithful to me, and I wouldn't even know she is forcing herself to settle. Maybe she's making him feel like she made me feel. Same message. Maybe even verbatim. Plug and play. She could do it for anyone. It might even be sincere. It seems like I made the right move in leaving on my own terms. I understand that people move on. Also that I'm not the ultimate. But that's what she said. Or implied. And now I find out that another guy is receiving the same treatment. What would it have meant if I had accepted it? Not much. It makes me glad I followed my heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 You realize this is all pride and ego driven, once again. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Uhm..whose pride and whose ego? Funny that you were the first to respond...hmmmm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johan Posted February 7, 2009 Author Share Posted February 7, 2009 You realize this is all pride and ego driven, once again. Just like 98% of everything everyone in the world does. I wouldn't be so hypocritical to try to make people think I was immune from that. I guess hypocrisy is my theme for the evening. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Just like 98% of everything everyone in the world does. I wouldn't be so hypocritical to try to make people think I was immune from that. I guess hypocrisy is my theme for the evening. Okay. I get it. Your story isn't completely accurate either but I leave that to your conscience. Link to post Share on other sites
ColorCube Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Isn't self-righteousness also hypocritical? Link to post Share on other sites
Author johan Posted February 7, 2009 Author Share Posted February 7, 2009 Isn't self-righteousness also hypocritical? That's what I've heard. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpha Female Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 How long did you date this woman? Link to post Share on other sites
Author johan Posted February 7, 2009 Author Share Posted February 7, 2009 How long did you date this woman? Some for years. Some for months. It's just a general feeling I have about things, as I look back. I used to feel jealous or insecure about it. Now I just feel disgusted. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 So you're saying they are all the same girl? Nope. Wrong. However you are still the same guy. No wonder why you're disgusted. Not at them really but more at yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpha Female Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Some for years. Some for months. It's just a general feeling I have about things, as I look back. I used to feel jealous or insecure about it. Now I just feel disgusted. So do you not think it's fair for an ex to move on? Obviously you have as well, if this is a general rant about many women. It's always hard to move on. I used to torture myself thinking that the next woman my ex dated would be "the one" and that they were deliriously happy, and she gave him everything I couldn't. Of course, this isn't the case. People don't change. Chances are highly probable that all the reasons you dumped her, are the same ones that some new guy will, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Just remember snow melts. Spring will be here soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johan Posted February 7, 2009 Author Share Posted February 7, 2009 I don't really care whether I'm right or wrong to feel the way I do. All I know is that I feel that way, and more as I see more of it. I've done my share of moving on and building new relationships, so I couldn't complain if my exes were equally disgusted by me. One thing is true though: I'm not tormenting myself by keeping anyone on a pedestal. In that respect, I trust my judgment more now than I used to. Link to post Share on other sites
ColorCube Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 You sound fairly miserable on the inside, why do you think you feel this way? Sometimes we can keep ourselves in the funk with the way we think, that is why the fake it till you make it routine works sometimes to pull yourself out of a funk. maybe you are being too real for your own good and need to fake it some. Being miserable on the inside and continuing to beat yourself up over a girl isn't helping. Do you date? do you go out with friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Why do you think loving one person and then loving another isn't genuine? Is it because people make grand declarations and promises? When people say those things, they are expressing what they feel at the time, and it really does seem at the time as though it will be that way forever. But things always change. If neither of you cut things off dramatically or drift away then you might end up together for the long term, and there is nothing that changes things more than that. You can have someone sharing your bathroom forever, but that wasn't really what "forever" meant when you had to shout it from the rooftops. None of this means they were lying to you, at least, not any more than they were lying to themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johan Posted February 7, 2009 Author Share Posted February 7, 2009 None of this means they were lying to you, at least, not any more than they were lying to themselves. Bingo. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Bingo. Yeah, but I wouldn't extract those moments from my life for anything. They're what makes life worth living. I just think people don't understand what they're saying when they say "forever". There is no forever. Forever is now. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 well most of the time love is selfish anyways isn't it? or should i say innit? Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 or should i say innit? Please don't. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Yeah, but I wouldn't extract those moments from my life for anything. They're what makes life worth living. I just think people don't understand what they're saying when they say "forever". There is no forever. Forever is now. Oh there is a forever it just happens after youre dead Link to post Share on other sites
Author johan Posted February 7, 2009 Author Share Posted February 7, 2009 well most of the time love is selfish anyways isn't it? or should i say innit? Indeed. Well, I'm off to bed now. I'll let you all know when I wake up. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Oh there is a forever it just happens after youre dead :love: Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Indeed. Well, I'm off to bed now. I'll let you all know when I wake up. You guys have been drinking the apha koolaid. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 You guys have been drinking the apha koolaid. well lets just say at least the guy isnt writing a script for the hallmark channel Link to post Share on other sites
Dumbledore Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Always go with your gut because bacteria know best. Link to post Share on other sites
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