JohnnyBlaze Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Okay, update on the "Jane" story (see http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t184468/): she decided to give her boyfriend another chance. I don't think it's going to last; she wants to be married and have kids, and he's still waffling on both. Given that she's just coming up on 30 and he's in his 40's, I think he has had plenty of time to decide whether or not he wants kids, doesn't want them, and just doesn't know how to tell her without losing her. It may not sound like much, but it's a huge point of contention with her, and has been no secret for a number of years now that failure to want marriage/kids is a deal-breaker with her. She felt really bad about breaking the date with me (as they got back together just before) and still wants to go out, catch up, have a few drinks, and all that good stuff. Now, personally I don't see anything changing between them. In the few weeks they were apart, she hasn't changed her mind about wanting kids, and after 40+ years, I strongly doubt he's changed his just because of a week or two. However, much like her, I do. Third parties have told me repeatedly that she and I would be absolutely perfect for each other. Now, here's the dilemma. Should I pursue her? Does she want me to? I'm not sure if this is a legitimate "I want to get back together with him" or if she's just giving me incentive to fight for her. After all, she has pretty much accepted to herself (although she won't say it aloud in so many words) that he doesn't really want kids. I know she does, and nothing on Earth will change that. I should probably reiterate my question here; should I pursue her? I most likely will, because I really like this girl and have for some time. But I also have a bad habit of being a Donny Don't. If going left is the correct answer, I invariably turn right. So, how bad an idea is going after her? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 From what I recall of your personality, you're a go-getter, so she knows in no uncertain terms how you feel about her. Leave her with that and encourage her to do what makes her happy. Then, go out with someone else. Life's short, man I've dealt with a fence-sitter (more than once) and can say the only unhealthy person in those dynamics was me, not respecting the choices made. I support those choices now Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnnyBlaze Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 I was thinking about leaving it to her own devices, but I've lost out on too many chances in the past by taking that route. It's that whole "Nice Guy Eddie" thing. Link to post Share on other sites
BoerumHill Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 I most likely will Good luck with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnnyBlaze Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 Really that bad an idea, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Faint heart ne'er won fair lady. Go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
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