Update - After 15 years she cheated and took my kids

[Lying eyes]

I tried to update my prior thread but it's been more than 60 days so I am unable. It's located here:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t178995/

 

We met with the mediator a couple times and agreed in writing for no spousal support, 1/2 custody, and she gets no money other than 1/2 of my retirement. The mediator who is female had the audacity to suggest that she see a lawyer because she could probably do better in court, even though we were both in agreement of the terms. I just about walked out and called her out saying this was not a neutral statement.

 

The kids are doing alright, except my oldest seems to need alot of attention and tends to act up. I'm trying to be patient with him, but I don't want him to establish new boundaries and bad behavior because I feel sorry for him. He's in timeout and has toys and priveleges taken away alot for not listening. Just need to balance sternness with love and caring. He said he wishes we could spend more time together as a family, which both his mom and I are on board with.

 

After the initial hurt began to subside, which literally felt like the death of an immediate family member, a pain I am all too familiar with, I began to focus on the future and things started to turn around. There is still pain, especially when I look at pictures, but it doesn't make me question whether or not I want to wake up in the morning. I am experiencing the sewing my wild oats stage that I missed out on after high school. Being with only 1 woman never bothered me, but I forgot how exciting it can be when you first meet someone else. I'm not listing these as conquests, but merely to relay experiences I've had in the last few months. I had a one-night stand with a 24 year old blonde, an interesting sexual experience while camping, and yesterday made out with my date after dancing. I'm curious to see where this last one goes as I'm probably having dinner with her this week. I'm not ready for a long-term relationship, but that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun, and maybe date someone for a while. A friend told me its like I'm 18 again, I seem happier than I was even before the divorce. I do feel the pendulum shifting. I know I'm going through a phase of going out, doing a little drinking and flirting with women, but I feel it's a healthy part of my process. I've also been working out like crazy, 6-7 days a week. The gym has been my solace, and I've put on 25 pounds of solid muscle, to the point at which people that haven't seen me for a few months are actually taken aback. I've been skinny all my life and finally decided to do something about it. My self worth is not dependent upon the whims of others, but damnit, it feels good to have a woman (or women) think I am sexy.

 

Also just graduated, summa cum laude. All I've been doing the last few months was working out, studying, being a dad, hiking, and soul searching. The last couple weeks I just started getting out to meet women. I should probably get a job now too, but I'm having too much fun.

[hopeful26]

Now here's a shining example of how to treat yourself after the big D. Good for you! Get on dying or get on living!

[Chrome Barracuda]

God it sounds F-ing awesome!!! that is what i call living well after divorce. I'm glad you got 50/50 custody!!!

 

And WTF was that mediator smoking!!! of course it's supposed to be neutral why was she biased against you? I would have ended it right there and went to court with my own lawyer F-that. If a self mediator cant remain impartial what's the point?

 

Sounds like your having fun, But remember use a condom, right now your finances are probably not that kosher and you dont wanna wake up with a new child on the way. lol.

 

What about X? anything going on on that front? is she witholding your kids from seeing you?

[mark982]

i don't like she gets half of your retirement.can seriously put a dent in your golden years.