nocontact2 Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 If MP lies to OP and says they are single get into a long term relationship, have children... completely causes the OP to basically have a mental breakdown (pain and driving crazy) why cant that OP sue MP for misrepresentation and for punitive damages for the wrong doing that MP has done to the OP? Maybe if there were a precedent set that these MP can not lie to OP and emotionally get them involved to the point they have to see a therapist to even deal with life, while having children to raise especially, dont you think MP would think again before such misrepresentation and causing such sever mental anguish??? Should I look into this??? I really dont care about getting any money, I just want something awarded to show that it is wrong and is willful neglect on MP part and there are consequences for their actions of hurting people. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 When you found out he was married already, you didn't break it off, right? You kept going and having more kids with him? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t190282/ Looking at this thread it's like you KNEW he was married all along and still chose to have kids with him. Instead of blaming this ALL on him, take ownership and responsibility for your part in this. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 If MP lies to OP and says they are single get into a long term relationship, have children... completely causes the OP to basically have a mental breakdown (pain and driving crazy) why cant that OP sue MP for misrepresentation and for punitive damages for the wrong doing that MP has done to the OP? Maybe if there were a precedent set that these MP can not lie to OP and emotionally get them involved to the point they have to see a therapist to even deal with life, while having children to raise especially, dont you think MP would think again before such misrepresentation and causing such sever mental anguish??? Should I look into this??? I really dont care about getting any money, I just want something awarded to show that it is wrong and is willful neglect on MP part and there are consequences for their actions of hurting people. The difference in a BS suing and a AP is night and day. At what point did you not know he was married? At what point where you willing to risk you emotions, your health(physically and mentally) and your reputation for someone else's spouse? Where you mentally incapacitated? Did you require someone else to make your decisions for you? What are you going to go around suing everyone who didn't honor a promise to you or lied to you about something? How do you plan to go about deciding who's lie deserves to be punished and who's doesn't? What will be your culpability in your own pain? Will you sue yourself? What should your consequences be? You made a choice to get involved with a MM. Most people learn NO as one of their first words. The BS doesn't make a choice to invite an AP into their lives, their families, their marriages. The are most times lied to deceived and have to go with the flow with the help of the AP. You my dear made all the decisions on your own. It is time to put on the big girl pants and move on. Get help from friends, family, clergy or a professional to help you move forward, but what you purpose could only add to the pain you have now. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I've never seen a case, but, the theory does have some merit. The cause of action , in tort, might be intentional infliction of emotional distress, or negligent infliction of emotional distress. These are recognized tort actions. I cannot remember all the elements of the torts. I think there has to be some type of egregious conduct by the tortfeasor. Lying to get sex might qualify as such. I suppose you could use some type of contract theory, as well. Quantifying the damages might be difficult, though. Maybe some type of quantum meruit deal, or promisary estoppel. Maybe you could get equitable relief,specific performance, and a judge will force him to marry you and have kids. Might be some public policy problems with that one, though. Battery also comes to mind as a possibility, in that the touching was obtained via fraud, so no real consent. I don't think this works, though as the lack of consent did not convert the touching to something other than what was agreed upon. In the fake physician cases , where a person poses as a doc to gain access, cases seem to say that the very nature of the touching was different than what was agreed to. So, the lack of consent actually is seen to convert one type of touching into a battery. In tort, you'd be looking at some of the common law defenses, such as assumption of the risk or contributory negligence. Intersting law school type of question. Maybe some civil litigators have more sophisticated theories and considerations that are beyond me. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Bent, in her hypothetical, I don't beleive she mentions having known going in or at anytime until after the involvement or physical intimacy. The quetions you pose are the types of things that would constitute a defense to her suit. But, if the facts are as she explained, unless she was really negilgent herself, she was wronged and the law does provide that for every wrong , there is a remedy. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 So, it seems this is totally revenge, things aren't going your way anymore and now you're looking to make him pay/suffer? Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 So, it seems this is totally revenge, things aren't going your way anymore and now you're looking to make him pay/suffer? I did not read her history, Whichway. But, say the facts were different, a case where the OW really was deceived and had no reason or ability to look further. Would you agree that the guy should be held liable? We have duty, breach of duty, causation and damages. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2209987&postcount=56 So, what happened between then and now to make you want to go after him this way? I still don't understand here. You KNEW he was married and had other kids when you had kids with him.. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I did not read her history, Whichway. But, say the facts were different, a case where the OW really was deceived and had no reason or ability to look further. Would you agree that the guy should be held liable? We have duty, breach of duty, causation and damages. If she didn't know he was already married and had kids, sure.. But in her situation she knew and still had more kids with him, that's why I'm confused. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 So, it seems this is totally revenge, things aren't going your way anymore and now you're looking to make him pay/suffer? Reg, I agree with WWIU. She isn't the hypothetical person you are speaking of. She is a woman who had children with this thing and his wife and children knew nothing about it as she had more than one child by him.. She says he provides for the children now and in for their future. What is her responsibility for her own mental and emotional health? Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Me, too. I would think that her subsequent actions would call into question the damages, as well as cast doubt on her version of what constituted the representations that were made. I'd be amazed if anyone would take a case like this. Your remedy would seem to be to get child support. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Reg, I agree with WWIU. She isn't the hypothetical person you are speaking of. She is a woman who had children with this thing and his wife and children knew nothing about it as she had more than one child by him.. She says he provides for the children now and in for their future. What is her responsibility for her own mental and emotional health? With this additional information, I agree with him, as well. The kids are entitled to some $$, though. You play, you pay. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Apparently he pays her money, and lawyers/courts are not involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Who gets the tax deduction? Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I've never seen a case, but, the theory does have some merit. The cause of action , in tort, might be intentional infliction of emotional distress, or negligent infliction of emotional distress. These are recognized tort actions. I cannot remember all the elements of the torts. I think there has to be some type of egregious conduct by the tortfeasor. Lying to get sex might qualify as such. I suppose you could use some type of contract theory, as well. Quantifying the damages might be difficult, though. Maybe some type of quantum meruit deal, or promisary estoppel. Maybe you could get equitable relief,specific performance, and a judge will force him to marry you and have kids. Might be some public policy problems with that one, though. Battery also comes to mind as a possibility, in that the touching was obtained via fraud, so no real consent. I don't think this works, though as the lack of consent did not convert the touching to something other than what was agreed upon. In the fake physician cases , where a person poses as a doc to gain access, cases seem to say that the very nature of the touching was different than what was agreed to. So, the lack of consent actually is seen to convert one type of touching into a battery. In tort, you'd be looking at some of the common law defenses, such as assumption of the risk or contributory negligence. Intersting law school type of question. Maybe some civil litigators have more sophisticated theories and considerations that are beyond me. I love legalese! Its so sexy!!! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Who gets the tax deduction? She does. He doesn't need to claim them supposedly being filthy rich, and all. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I love legalese! Its so sexy!!! It's a bunch of boring BS, IMO. I'd rather watch Tom Watson swing. Link to post Share on other sites
MistyK Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 NC2, I'm so sorry the dogpile started again right away. I wondered if you'd ever post again after that last fiasco. Anyhow, try not to think in terms of revenge. I totally get the urge, but any victory would be bittersweet at best. You're better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 NC2, I'm so sorry the dogpile started again right away. I wondered if you'd ever post again after that last fiasco. Anyhow, try not to think in terms of revenge. I totally get the urge, but any victory would be bittersweet at best. You're better than that. Seriously, what dogpile are you talking about? Reggie gave a well-thought out answer that she might have merit. What, were they supposed to tell her she had every right to sue her wealthy, MM for all she could just because he sometimes tells her he "knows what she needs" (just remembering that thread makes me )? If she wants more money, she needs to sue him for childsupport, not because she participated in an affair. She's an adult. The fact that she consented to sex with him AND had his children is the reason this revenge plot would be laughed out of court. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I waaaas having an acid flashback, at the time, however. Good trails. Link to post Share on other sites
MistyK Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Seriously, what dogpile are you talking about? Reggie gave a well-thought out answer that she might have merit. What, were they supposed to tell her she had every right to sue her wealthy, MM for all she could just because he sometimes tells her he "knows what she needs" (just remembering that thread makes me )? If she wants more money, she needs to sue him for childsupport, not because she participated in an affair. She's an adult. The fact that she consented to sex with him AND had his children is the reason this revenge plot would be laughed out of court. I agree, my issue was more with the beginning posts ---posts that have that wonderful "you got what you deserve" tone. Link to post Share on other sites
MistyK Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2209987&postcount=56 So, what happened between then and now to make you want to go after him this way? I still don't understand here. You KNEW he was married and had other kids when you had kids with him.. yes and no, as I recall she didn't know until after the birth of the 1st one. Obviously having more was inadvisable at that point, but it's done now. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 But Misty, it's not like NC2 didn't know he was married and had kids. SHE knew and still continued on with the A and had kids with him. Sorry, but she's brought some of this on herself..I do have some sympathy for her, but she certainly isn't innocent in all this. IT would be completely different if she was clueless and didn't know he had a wife, and kids during all this... yes and no, as I recall she didn't know until after the birth of the 1st one Yet she had 2 MORE kids with this guy!! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 But Misty, it's not like NC2 didn't know he was married and had kids. SHE knew and still continued on with the A and had kids with him. Sorry, but she's brought some of this on herself..I do have some sympathy for her, but she certainly isn't innocent in all this. IT would be completely different if she was clueless and didn't know he had a wife, and kids during all this... Yet she had 2 MORE kids with this guy!! And she never did take the W's advice when she was in labor with the first by calling a lawyer. Yet, she wants to sue him now? For what? She was given good advice before the other two children were conceived. She should have called a lawyer then. She might actually have had a case. Link to post Share on other sites
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