Upcoming LDR... maybe

[highlibidolady]

Some bg info.

 

I was married Feb 2007.

Separated May 2008.

Applied divorce Feb 2009, granted April 2009.

 

Dated a guy Sep 2008-Feb 2009.

 

Since then I have been single and celibate and told myself not to date, not to look and just concentrate on myself, my friends/social life and career.

 

Two months ago (June 2010) I met a guy at a mutual friend's party. I would not say there were sparks or chemistry or anything upon our first meeting however we talked very very briefly (maybe 10 minutes) and then later met up again 2-3 weeks later also very briefly (about 30-40 minutes). In between we had talked on the phone every now and then.

 

Then some more weeks passed...

 

Then we saw each other on Mon 2 Aug and I started to feel different towards him for the first time. All this time I suspected he liked me.

 

Saw him again on Fri 6 Aug where I asked him outright if he liked me and he finally admitted he did. This whole time I was deluding myself that I didn't like him as much as he liked me but then I also admitted to him that I liked him as well.

 

Now, I had planned to go overseas since Dec last year and both of us knew this was coming up. I think that's why I initially tried to 'turn off' the feelings for him inside my head.

 

That Friday night was magical. I'm 33 and he's 31 and we both admitted we felt like teenagers again. All we did was talk and hold hands and I even felt 'electricity' just from holding hands. He kissed me on the cheeks but not on the lips (as he had a cold and was being thoughtful not to pass it on to me).

 

Since then we've seen each other a few times and talked heaps on the phone. We both admit it is so crazy that we've fallen for each other so quickly despite neither of us looking. I admit in all honestly I was NOT looking for a partner right now given the circumstance and he said he was NOT looking either after coming out a long term relationship about 9 months ago.

 

I don't know what is happening and I just feel so torn. On one hand I think I should just break up with him before I go but on the other hand I feel such a connection. I know it's only days and I don't know the 'real' him yet but he is so open and honest with all his thoughts and feelings I can't help but feel that I already know him quite well.

 

The problem is that I am moving to Europe which is on the other side of the world, and he has a massive fear of travelling overseas. He has never been overseas whereas I have travelled extensively and love it.

 

This poses a big problem as he cannot come and visit me (not to mention the expense which is another story) but also for our future as I cannot imagine doing my love/my 'hobby' of travel without him, or just by myself all the time!

 

I am having major problems sleeping and he said he is having anxiety problems thinking about it. We're both just so torn. When we meet we are so happy to see each other and over the moon about each other, yet at the same time all we want to do is cry knowing what is about to happen. I will be gone at least 9 months.

 

Should we continue it to a LDR or should I just break it off now? Either way I'm sure we'll both be devastated. It's like something amazing and wonderful and happy has happened to me finally (after all the **** I went thru with my ex-husband) and now I can't even celebrate and just feel impending doom and gloom.

 

I was so looking forward to my trip and now all I feel is sadness and dread that the date is coming sooner and quicker

 

Another thing is we both really want to sleep with each other and yet we feel like if we do, that'll make our 'connection' even stronger and the pain even worse when I leave. We're trying to be sensible about the whole thing but I just don't know what is 'right' anymore.

 

Please advise. Thank you.

Edited August 11, 2010 by highlibidolady

[Els]

What exactly sparks his fear of travelling? The plane ride? Living in an unknown place? Accommodation?