I told her how I feel, regardless of her bf

[roflmao]

Hi guys

 

I need some different interpretations about my story. Hope you can all help me out a bit. Here it goes:

 

I've met this girl 2+ years ago. Just a few weeks later, I've started feeling something for her, and since then the feeling stayed in my mind thorughout the years.

However, she started a relationship with another guy and I'm guessing they're together for bout a year now.

A few days ago, I met with her and I gave her a poem I've wrote, expressing my true feelings. In the poem, I also stated that I only wanted an answer. "Yes" or "No", it wouldn't matter. And, if the answer was "No", I promissed that I wouldn't force anything to happen.

She took the poem, and read it on the very same day.

 

In return, she sent me a huuuuge text message saying things like:

"When I'm with you, I feel confortable"

"You're not an ordinary guy to me" (since, in the poem, i wrote "you aren't just an ordinary girl. In fact, u're really special to me")

"We have a beautiful friendship to built, or whatever it may become"

 

But, she also saying things like:

"As you know, we aren't in the same page atm" (she's 3 years older than me)

"As you also know, I have a bf. However, I don't want you out of my life."

 

I'm kinda confused atm, and dunno in what to believe )=

A reply like this should feed my hopes? Or should I leave her alone? (although this 2nd options seems impossible atm, cause my feelings are getting stronger and I can't avoid seeing her twice a week)

 

What would you think if something similar to this happened to you? How would you react? Would you still have any hope left?

I just want to try to see this in a different way...

Edited September 24, 2010 by roflmao

[BiscuitXOXO]

Sounds like she's just being nice and trying to let you down easy. Evidently she considers you an excellent friend, but she just doesn't "feel that way" towards you. Just my 2 cents.

 

It was brave of you, telling her. So many people never get the guts.

[roflmao]

thanks for your reply, Biscuit.

Yes, that's one of my interpretations.

Although I wanna believe I still have a chance, most of her reply slightly proves otherwise.

However, there are parts of her text that made m e more believable about all this. Maybe I forgot to mention some of the most strong ones, like:

"Don't EVER stop being friends with me, because, as strange as it may sound, I picture you in the future as someone special in my life"

or:

"We never know what will happen in the future"

 

Oh well, maybe I'm just too blind (love-blind) to see both sides of the story atm =\

"

[WTRanger]

So when you are 100 years old, your entire life having passed you by, are you still going to wait for a "future" with this girl?

 

She's stringing you along. You don't see it, but you actually strengthen her relationship with her bf. She can come to to with all of the emotional BS, then when she feels better go and have great sex with her BF. It's a win-win for her. You? Not so much.

 

You only think her response proves otherwise, because that's what YOU want to see. You can be someone special to her, and not ever date her. Your that guy who she can cry to about ALLLLLL of her boyfriend problems. Your that guy who she can count on to never hit on her. Your that guy who gives her all of the male attentions she needs. Your the perfect girlfriend with a penis.

[Cracker Jack]

I honestly believe it's false hope. At this point, you appear to be in the friend zone with this woman. I don't think you should continue to pursue her. If you want to continue being friends with her, that's fine; just know it'll be difficult for you to "just be friends" with someone you have strong feelings for.

[ifyouareok]

I think you have chance, just not let go. come on guy.

[Tayla]

I think the lady was gracious and diplomatic in response.

If any relationship is to flourish it needs the friendship foundation.

I respect both sides here in that he was true from a heartfelt level and she was honest in her response. She wasn't playing both sides but remained loyal to her BF and sincere in her current remarks. If the OP is seeking only the next level then its true he needs to move on...

[sumdude]

She handled as well as she could. Truth is that right now if she wanted you she would be there.. but she's not. So you must move on. Seek romance elsewhere and for your own emotional health pull back from her or you'll find yourself stuck in limbo for a long time.

[WTRanger]

"Don't EVER stop being friends with me, because, as strange as it may sound, I picture you in the future as someone special in my life"

or:

"We never know what will happen in the future"

"

 

If those were her words to him, she's not handling it well. That's not a diplomatic response. That's called playing to someone feelings. That's called stringing someone along.

 

A well handled diplomatic response would have been, "I'm with my boyfriend, and I want to make it work with him. I value you in my life as a close friend, but it will only ever be friends."

[LucreziaBorgia]

"Don't EVER stop being friends with me, because, as strange as it may sound, I picture you in the future as someone special in my life"

or:

"We never know what will happen in the future"

 

I understand how you would want to read a 'future' in this, but honestly it sounds like she is saying this just vaguely enough so that you will be compelled to stick around. She apparently likes having you around, but that doesn't mean she wants to be your girlfriend. I suspect she knows if she came right out and said 'no' that you would not be as inclined to stick around.

[Westy]

Here's what you have to look into, if she truely reciprocated your feelings, why wouldnt she just break up with her BF?

 

Back when I was a lad, my first year away at college I had a similar situation. A girl I wanted to date had a BF, didnt go to this school. We had a friends with benefits situation going on, but she was completely resistant to having a relationship with me. So I eventually had to cut off the entire friendship. When her Boyfriend came for visits I couldnt stand the fact she would be with him, flat out couldnt stand not having her all to myself.

 

I thought the same way as you, just stick it out. after about 6 months i said **** it. I realized I am basically committing myself to this girl, when I am not getting the same in return, and told her, if we cant be exclusive we cant be friends, the fact she just let me walk made it clear that she really wasnt interested in a relationship with me.

 

You are just going to toture yourself, i dont care how perfect you think this girl is, trust me you will think that until you get the next "perfect girl" for you. Maybe its the glass half empty (or glass half full) part of me, depending on you look at it, but their aint no such thing as "soul mates" no matter what you have convinced yourself of, theres always someone else out there for you.

 

So if shes really interested in you in that way, she wont let you get away.

[collegeguy_24]

Personally, I think you need to let her go and move on. I think it is dis-honorable to pursue a woman who is already in a relationship. It shows a lack of character for one thing. You can still be friends, but don't pursue her. It will only lead to more hurt then anything else.

[Dowlin]

If any relationship is to flourish it needs the friendship foundation.

I respect both sides here in that he was true from a heartfelt level and she was honest in her response.

[firered]

Mate I completly understand where you are coming from, I am absolute crazy for this girl but she doesnt feel the same, yet she send signals that she is interested it is very confusing. I know how you feel, you dont want to end the friendship because you dont want her out of your life completly, but you cant keep going on like this. Right now she is looking like the only girl in the world, infact other girls dont even interest you.

 

Its hard mate my only advice is if you enjoy her friendship then stay as her friend, but dont wait around for her, go out meet girls at least give them a go, dont compare them to her though because it wont work.

If something happens between you two then it will happen, but there is no point living your life based around someone else...otherwise it isnt your life