9Lives Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 My friend recently got out of jail...LOL...after being locked up for 10 years for helping move marijuana from one state to the next. Anyway, now that he is out, he is like a jack rabbit. Right now he has 10 fb on rotation. One of the girls thinks she is the potential gf cause she has pictures of him and her on facebook but ...uh no. the other chics think they are the only one or they are sleeping with him so fast that by the time they find out there are more, its already done. This guy and I have know each other since we were kids and I am very good friend with his mom so she been telling me that he is with all these chics and it is driving her crazy to see how many women are coming in and out her house. My question is....is it okay for the fb/fwb you are messing with to have other fb/fwb while you are doing your thang? If so, is this open info or you really dont want to know if there are other people with your fb/fwb? Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 If there is no agreement on exclusivity then yes, it's perfectly fine. One can have as many bed partners on rotation as they please. If you don't like it, you don't have to have sex with that person. Those specific girls you mentioned are dumber than dumb for assuming exclusivity or that they're potential girlfriends. I wouldn't have sex with more than one person at a time, however. That's just not my style. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 ugh ... I think the question is less about it being okay, because it's already happening and I'm guessing he doesn't plan on slowing down ... the question is more like "Is he using protection with all of us? Especially me?" because the chances for spreading an STD multiplies exponentially with each new person added ... you're not only sleeping with person A, but that person's A,B,C, etc. please reconsider having sex with this man, because it's pretty much Russian roulette at this point. If you absolutely are determined to have sex, insist on condom use and get both of yourselves tested. In this day and age, you just can't be too careful. Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 There wasn't anything in the OP to suggest that she wanted to sleep with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Jam Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 I always get a kick out of this topic. In my book, unless they make a real/serious pact to be exclusive, the he and she have no obligation to be loyal. Why I get a kick out of this topic is usually when I meet a girl and even sometimes a guy who has a FB or FWB, and you can clearly see he/she wants this person to be more, but denies it. Suddenly they find out their FB or FWB is sleeping with other people, or even dating someone new, and the lies shatter with the jealousy exploding. From an outsider standpoint it's hilarious. So this ex-felon has ten girls all banging him and each hoping or believing that she is "special" to him and not just another piece of warm flesh...while many many other guys out there can't get a date, much less get laid...and would probably be actual real mature men to these women. Now you can see why I preach to nice guys to disconnect from dating and prioritize on other things. I pray that none of these girls gets pregnant. There wasn't anything in the OP to suggest that she wanted to sleep with this guy. Agreed...I don't think she's that foolish. Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Max Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 There wasn't anything in the OP to suggest that she wanted to sleep with this guy. She wouldn't have gone out of her way to create a thread if that weren't the case. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 My question is....is it okay for the fb/fwb you are messing with to have other fb/fwb while you are doing your thang? If so, is this open info or you really dont want to know if there are other people with your fb/fwb? Yes, of course it's okay. It's a FWB/FB arrangement NOT an exclusive relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
welikeincrowds Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 these women Now you can see why I preach to nice guys to disconnect from dating and prioritize on other things. Really? You're going to make a universal example of women who are having sex with a felon who lives with his mom? Yes, drug law is pretty severe, but I highly doubt these women are trying to expand the discussion. It's possible that this guy is an incredible player, but it's also possible that these women are a part of their own category. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Jam Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 Really? You're going to make a universal example of women who are having sex with a felon who lives with his mom? Yes, drug law is pretty severe, but I highly doubt these women are trying to expand the discussion. It's possible that this guy is an incredible player, but it's also possible that these women are a part of their own category. I speak from experience. Plain and simple. You can wax poetic on how there are loads of great single women out there for all these single guys, but if that were the case, then we would see this board full of happy stories. Now I'm not blaming all women for the vast amount of guys who can't seem to get anywhere with them despite that they are (in my opinion) decent males. What I am saying though is in my experiences with the vast amount of attractive women who seem to flock and compete for a member of the "20%" and then the not so vast amount of attractive intelligent women holding out for an unrealistic standard...I simply learned at one point that rather than spend my life unhappy and bitter about how bad dating was going for me, that I'm better off prioritizing other things in my life. And that's the message I give to all these guys here who constantly obsess and complain about how hard dating is. How's your health?How's your income and career?How's your personal happiness?How's your sense of self-esteem?What else do you do in your life other than work your tail off to get a woman? I think if more guys would think about that, rather than hope a girlfriend will somehow magically fix all their problems, we might see more balanced men out there. Maybe even many of these clueless doormats might grow a spine and thus appear as something better to offer to the women-folk. In reference to this topic, my years of working in the club scene has shown me so many physically attractive, but royally insecure and clueless women. I've watched the few "alpha males" literally build up a harem like this guy has. Loads of women banging him, all believing they are "someone special" to him, only to become a drama queen the moment they find out the hard truth. Yeah...I know all women are not like those 10, and I never insinuated that they are. However, there are too many women out there who are shades of these ten, and it only shows more men to stop being men and thus become playas. I'm thankful I found my Ms Right. She's a class act, and knows I'll never cheat on her or hurt her on purpose. I love her because she's beautiful inside and out, respects me, and doesn't run from the idea of a man treating her like a lady. My "chip on my shoulder" attitude around this forum is more a bit of sympathy for my fellow males because of how few women there are out there like my GF. I have female friends who all messed up their lives from years of trying to tame a douchebag into a husband, and NOW they're trying to find a "nice guy" to marry them. It's just sad so many women have to mess up their lives to finally "get it". Link to post Share on other sites
Tres Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 My question is....is it okay for the fb/fwb you are messing with to have other fb/fwb while you are doing your thang? Yes, it is the right thing to do. If so, is this open info or you really dont want to know if there are other people with your fb/fwb? It depends on people's preferences. Most people do not want to talk about it because it is a turn off. Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 My friend recently got out of jail...LOL...after being locked up for 10 years for helping move marijuana from one state to the next. Anyway, now that he is out, he is like a jack rabbit. Right now he has 10 fb on rotation. One of the girls thinks she is the potential gf cause she has pictures of him and her on facebook but ...uh no. the other chics think they are the only one or they are sleeping with him so fast that by the time they find out there are more, its already done. This guy and I have know each other since we were kids and I am very good friend with his mom so she been telling me that he is with all these chics and it is driving her crazy to see how many women are coming in and out her house. My question is....is it okay for the fb/fwb you are messing with to have other fb/fwb while you are doing your thang? If so, is this open info or you really dont want to know if there are other people with your fb/fwb?TEN?!?!? I need to go to prison . . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Surrealist Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 I speak from experience. Plain and simple. You can wax poetic on how there are loads of great single women out there for all these single guys, but if that were the case, then we would see this board full of happy stories. Now I'm not blaming all women for the vast amount of guys who can't seem to get anywhere with them despite that they are (in my opinion) decent males. What I am saying though is in my experiences with the vast amount of attractive women who seem to flock and compete for a member of the "20%" and then the not so vast amount of attractive intelligent women holding out for an unrealistic standard...I simply learned at one point that rather than spend my life unhappy and bitter about how bad dating was going for me, that I'm better off prioritizing other things in my life. And that's the message I give to all these guys here who constantly obsess and complain about how hard dating is. How's your health?How's your income and career?How's your personal happiness?How's your sense of self-esteem?What else do you do in your life other than work your tail off to get a woman? I think if more guys would think about that, rather than hope a girlfriend will somehow magically fix all their problems, we might see more balanced men out there. Maybe even many of these clueless doormats might grow a spine and thus appear as something better to offer to the women-folk. In reference to this topic, my years of working in the club scene has shown me so many physically attractive, but royally insecure and clueless women. I've watched the few "alpha males" literally build up a harem like this guy has. Loads of women banging him, all believing they are "someone special" to him, only to become a drama queen the moment they find out the hard truth. Yeah...I know all women are not like those 10, and I never insinuated that they are. However, there are too many women out there who are shades of these ten, and it only shows more men to stop being men and thus become playas. I'm thankful I found my Ms Right. She's a class act, and knows I'll never cheat on her or hurt her on purpose. I love her because she's beautiful inside and out, respects me, and doesn't run from the idea of a man treating her like a lady. My "chip on my shoulder" attitude around this forum is more a bit of sympathy for my fellow males because of how few women there are out there like my GF. I have female friends who all messed up their lives from years of trying to tame a douchebag into a husband, and NOW they're trying to find a "nice guy" to marry them. It's just sad so many women have to mess up their lives to finally "get it". Great post and I like / agree with the the other one you made above. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 If they are throwing themselves at a guy who just got out of prison then they deserve what they get. I have no sympathy for women like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Surrealist Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 I'm interested to see what all the women on the other threads defending FWBs/FBs have to say on this issue??? In case I get asked why, it's because if these relations are solely for sexual reasons alone, getting one's sexual needs met (which seems to be the prominent argument in favour for them), then there should be no disagreement with having more than one FWB/FB simultaneously. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 You don't spend much time in the ghetto, do you? I used to live in one and I know that thugs have loads of women throwing themselves at them even though these men have nothing going for them. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 I'm interested to see what all the women on the other threads defending FWBs/FBs have to say on this issue??? In case I get asked why, it's because if these relations are solely for sexual reasons alone, getting one's sexual needs met (which seems to be the prominent argument in favour for them), then there should be no disagreement with having more than one FWB/FB simultaneously. I was one of the women defending FWB/FB on the other threads. See my response above. Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 It is perfectly ok as FWB/FB arrangements have no exclusivity. People have different levels of sex drive. I have never entered into such an arrangement, and don't know if I ever would. But theoretically if I did, 1 reason could be due to not having enough sex drive to keep a man satisfied exclusively. In such a case, I would hope that I was seeing the man often enough that my sex needs were met, and he was only going elsewhere for his overflow. Bear in mind, this scenario is completely theoretical, and unlikely to play out in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 If I ever find myself in need of a FWB I would not have one that is exclusive. What's the point? I know I would get too attached. But yeah...hope he's wrapping that up! Link to post Share on other sites
Awesome Username Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 There is no exclusivity in a FWB relationship. In fact, even if a man said he was exclusive I wouldn't believe it. If you're in a FWB, just assume it isn't exclusive. PLEASE use protection. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 My question is....is it okay for the fb/fwb you are messing with to have other fb/fwb while you are doing your thang? If so, is this open info or you really dont want to know if there are other people with your fb/fwb? Sure it is ok. Why would I assume they are not? My ego just doesnt work that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Surrealist Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Well finally a thread where we're all in agreement - so far! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 29, 2010 Author Share Posted October 29, 2010 She wouldn't have gone out of her way to create a thread if that weren't the case. Wrong wrong wrong wrong....this is family dude...I'm just tryna see how other peeps think. I personally don't like fb but if that floats your boat..do u Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 29, 2010 Author Share Posted October 29, 2010 If they are throwing themselves at a guy who just got out of prison then they deserve what they get. I have no sympathy for women like this. Dude..they don't know he is just got out of jail..they just think he is getting his life together Link to post Share on other sites
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