ClayMatthews Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 First time posting on here, just want some perspective on this. My ex gf broke up with me about 2 months ago saying we were two different people and you can't change people. I met her at school, graduated, and had to move four hours away for a great new job, so we were long distance most of the time, taking turns making the drive every weekend. Anyways, she was very immature about the breakup, blaming everything on me (not having time for her, not respecting her independence?). Things had not really been the same for a few weeks, but I thought she was just stressed about finishing up school, but apparently it was something else. Anyways, its been about two months, and over a month of no contact whatsoever, and last weekend, I drove back up to my college town to see some friends and go on a date. My date and I go to a bar for a concert, and within 5 minutes of getting there, my ex taps me on the shoulder acting all happy. I just ask her what's up, she says she's here for the awesome band, I say cool me too. My date and the ex kind of know each other, so it was a little awkward, I just smile and say "I'm not really sure what to say, it's good to see you" she's flustered and we talk about nothing for another minute and she's gone. The night continues, my date and I are having a good time, I have no interesting in looking for my ex, we are dancing respectfully, and then my ex comes up next to us dancing like crazy acting like she is having the time of her life. I just turn away and escort my date elsewhere and apologize for the situation. Finally, at the end of the night, my date is going awesome, we are holding hands, we walk past my ex in a hallway and I feel her follow me and then fall into the back of me on purspose yelling and then saying "I didn't do that!" haha. I just evacuated the situation again. I think I handled the situation maturely. I was a great man to her and got dumped, I don't understand what her intentions were. I got a text from her at 2:30 am saying "she was surprised I was able to make time in my busy schedule to make the trip." This has been the one thing she has against me I suppose, that I moved away for a career, which I think is pretty normal. I spent every minute I could with her and really loved her, she is the one who did not reciporocate. It feels good to kind of get the upper hand. When she dumped me, she obviously won, but I feel like I got my manhood back. Thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
Karma20 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 She is jealous. Yes you did handle the situation with class. I'm sure having another girl there helped. It must feel good to have the upper hand. Watch out because your ex might try and weasel her way back into your life Link to post Share on other sites
DellPickle Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Awesome, dream situation for most dumpees...you did the right thing and I would hope I could do the same in the same situation and I bet it does feel good to have the upper hand Link to post Share on other sites
FreeheartLover Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Ya never know what you got until it's gone! Tough lesson for her. Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 You handled that amazingly well... It's been 100 days since breakup for me and a month of NC and I couldn't be that cool yet. It's my dream to get where you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ClayMatthews Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) Thanks everbody! It's nice to hear some input on this, and while I always thought running into her would be the worst and it would crush me, it just really didn't turn out that way. Of course it helped to have another beautiful woman with me, but it was not my intention at all to use her, I really wanted to be there with her and we had a really great time! It's funny, when my ex tapped me on the shoulder and said "what's up buttercup!?", i turned and did not even recognize her at first. I didn't see the girl I fell in love with, I saw the cold and immature person who dumped me over a text message and made it clear she no longer wanted to be a part of my life. And I looked at my date next to me, a great girl who really wanted to be there with me, and I wanted to be there with her. I am not all the way over my ex, we had an incredible year, but the way everything went down at the bar kind of showed me who my ex really was, and that the break up was for the best. I was lovedrunk. Edited January 11, 2011 by ClayMatthews Link to post Share on other sites
smilesalot1 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 First time posting on here, just want some perspective on this. My ex gf broke up with me about 2 months ago saying we were two different people and you can't change people. I met her at school, graduated, and had to move four hours away for a great new job, so we were long distance most of the time, taking turns making the drive every weekend. Anyways, she was very immature about the breakup, blaming everything on me (not having time for her, not respecting her independence?). Things had not really been the same for a few weeks, but I thought she was just stressed about finishing up school, but apparently it was something else. Anyways, its been about two months, and over a month of no contact whatsoever, and last weekend, I drove back up to my college town to see some friends and go on a date. My date and I go to a bar for a concert, and within 5 minutes of getting there, my ex taps me on the shoulder acting all happy. I just ask her what's up, she says she's here for the awesome band, I say cool me too. My date and the ex kind of know each other, so it was a little awkward, I just smile and say "I'm not really sure what to say, it's good to see you" she's flustered and we talk about nothing for another minute and she's gone. The night continues, my date and I are having a good time, I have no interesting in looking for my ex, we are dancing respectfully, and then my ex comes up next to us dancing like crazy acting like she is having the time of her life. I just turn away and escort my date elsewhere and apologize for the situation. Finally, at the end of the night, my date is going awesome, we are holding hands, we walk past my ex in a hallway and I feel her follow me and then fall into the back of me on purspose yelling and then saying "I didn't do that!" haha. I just evacuated the situation again. I think I handled the situation maturely. I was a great man to her and got dumped, I don't understand what her intentions were. I got a text from her at 2:30 am saying "she was surprised I was able to make time in my busy schedule to make the trip." This has been the one thing she has against me I suppose, that I moved away for a career, which I think is pretty normal. I spent every minute I could with her and really loved her, she is the one who did not reciporocate. It feels good to kind of get the upper hand. When she dumped me, she obviously won, but I feel like I got my manhood back. Thanks for listening. Your new girl is a lucky one...A realistic man escorting her on a date. I hope you find happiness...sound as if you deserve it. BTW the old girlfriend just wanted to see if she still had 1 claw in ya. I'm sure you didn't respond to her ridiculous 2:30 txt. Good luck on your happiness. Also, remember the career comes first, that is until your married. Link to post Share on other sites
Movingthrough Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Congrats man. That was as best as you could handle any situation and to see someone act that stupid around you when they did the dumping is awesome. I keep wishing I was in a situation like that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ClayMatthews Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Nope Smiles, I certainly did not and will not respond to that mean text. It gives me a small amount of satisfaction and closure to see how she acted, and to be mature about the whole deal, but only a very small amount. I am still dissappointed about how it all worked out and the fact that I am on here talking about it, haha. But what can you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Owz600 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Well done you handled it great. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ClayMatthews Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 I know I came out on top, handled it with class, but breakups just suck. Instead of thinking about the incredibly date on went on with a really sweet girl, it's like it didn't even happen. All I am thinking about is what in the world was my ex's behavior all about? It is just something I am ready to be done thinking about. Link to post Share on other sites
smilesalot1 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I know I came out on top, handled it with class, but breakups just suck. Instead of thinking about the incredibly date on went on with a really sweet girl, it's like it didn't even happen. All I am thinking about is what in the world was my ex's behavior all about? It is just something I am ready to be done thinking about. Make up your mind to be done and DON'T analyze the X's behavior. To be quite honest I am in a relationship with a man and if his X had acted like that it would've set him back at least 6 months in our relationship. If you find that your hoping she is sorry about her decision that is one thing but, if you're remotely wondering if she wants you back instead gearing your thoughts on all the hurt and rejection she put you through. Try taking the new girl out again to a brand new location that neither of you have ever been...there is something refreshing and alive about a brand new start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ClayMatthews Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Thanks Smiles. Words of wisdom. I obviously miss the closeness, but being so ugly and hurtful about the whole things has shown me her real character, it is disappointing that she is not who I thought she was, but it is great to know now so I can move and fine someone truly special to spend the rest of my life with! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts