Ending badly

[joshextreme]

Ive started a lot of threads here. Guess I'm getting cozy here lol. anyways,

 

if any of you have read my threads you'd know that me and my ex have been broken up for about 2 months now and we talked on and off. each time we talked it would end up a few days later where i would be pouring my heart out.

the last time this happened was 5 days ago and i feel like it didnt end right. what i want is her to eventually talk to me but the way i ended it was bad. the last few texts went like this

 

me: "you know i dont understand what i did that was so horrible for you to not even want to try reconcile things."

 

her: "nothing its not like that. its just i dont wanna be with u in that way anymore. it doesnt make me happy and its not right i feel"

 

me: "a lot has changed and you wont even considering trying. things are so different now. i care about you a lot more than i did then. i love you a lot more than i did then. i swear to god i could make you happy if you'd just listen to me"

 

her: "i cant josh im sorry. please. just stop."

 

me: "why? cause you'll actually feel something for a moment? you'll actually remember when we were happy? remember the times when i would look into your eyes and say i love you. yeah i meant it all. im not asking for a 2nd or 3rd chance, im asking for a new start. where i can show you everyday why you are the most amazing girl that i have ever met and why i really do love you. text me whenever i guess."

 

her: "alright josh, night"

 

after that i didnt text her back. i know ive been around here a lot asking a lot of questions but i dont think you guys see what my situation is like. btw as i post on this forum you guys will see that im very open about things like me showing what went down exactly between me and her.

 

is going NC good for now? alls i really wanna do is talk to her. i feel like her coming back now just for a chat isnt an option.

[joshextreme]

Yes NC and for a very long time too. At least a month. You are giving a desperate vibe to your ex which is definitely not good.

 

You say "at least a month" but what happens after that month? just keep going nc?

[joshextreme]

The chances are that after a month, you will be over it. Of course, it can be longer or shorter than a month but the main focus is for you to stop thinking on how to salvage your relationship.

 

You need to preserve your dignity, regain confidence and not give the feeling that you are a needy person. Girls hate guys who keep on trying and it only strengthens their resolve.

 

If you are going to try to get back with her, you gotta make her regret it. That is, by leaving her alone so that she can miss you and by improving yourself. Also, I suggest you let her make the next contact. Until then, dont make the first move. When and if she does, keep it light, do NOT bring up the relationship, do NOT make her feel bad.

 

People love to have fun. If you want to convince youre ex to come back with you, make it so that when she sees you, she only has fun.

 

i dont think we'll be seeing eachother anytime soon. well we do have prom in a month in a half so who knows. there is the possibility that i could go to prom with her. she has a date saturday with some creep and i dont think things will work out. she might consider me if things dont work out between him and her so idk.

[hunk]

Complete NC. Sounds like she's done bro, if she hasn't made that painfully clear yet..

[joshextreme]

Complete NC. Sounds like she's done bro, if she hasn't made that painfully clear yet..

 

yeah i guess :/

[D-Lish]

yeah i guess :/

 

Josh, the best advice I can give you in a situation like this is to do the opposite of everything you want to do.

 

Don't text, don't call, don't beg anymore.

 

She's not interested at the moment- and the best thing you can do is to distance yourself. Act like you don't give a crap, go into silent mode...then look for a fresh piece of ass. You're young, there will be so many girls in your future, trust me.

[joshextreme]

good, the more people she sees the more she has a change of realizing you are better. Of course I dont know you so I cant judge

 

Ive heard really bad things about this guy shes about to see. He's one of those guys that says i love you after a week. I told her the night before out big fight that if they don't work out that she should consider going with someone who truly cared about her. She said ok but idk if it was a sincere ok.

[joshextreme]

Josh, the best advice I can give you in a situation like this is to do the opposite of everything you want to do.

 

Don't text, don't call, don't beg anymore.

 

She's not interested at the moment- and the best thing you can do is to distance yourself. Act like you don't give a crap, go into silent mode...then look for a fresh piece of ass. You're young, there will be so many girls in your future, trust me.

 

thanks bro. i think im gonna set down facebook for now haha

[joshextreme]

now im starting to think again which isnt good. considering how it ended i look so pathetic. why would she want to even attempt to talk to someone who looks that pathetic. i cant seem to figure out a way to show her, without talking, that im not pathetic like i seemed.

[shawn923]

Man dont even worry about that shet josh. U already know im goin thru the exact same thing!! matter fact i aslo went thru it in hs, right around prom time too!!!

 

I think with ur text u did ALL u could. matter fact u put urself OUT there for her, shes well aware u care and knows she can make it work if she put forth the slightest effort... but for some reason she wont... so fawk it! shes going thru one of her "feelin herself" stages where she thinks she can make the nxt guy fall in luv just as fast as u and have him crying over her just like u did. BUT if u were a good dude, shared great times, thought it was true love, blah blah, i 100% DOUBT shes gonna find that anywhere else. Its soooo stupid i know, but sometimes girls just gotta have their way. and if she "thinks" she can do better than u, than trust me, shes in for a rude awakening.

By putting urself out there, a lot of older ppl on here will disagree with u... but i think u did the right thing. Im 22, live in chicago, i KNOW how our young and stupid culture works... I think u just showed her something NO OTHER guy can give her. Do u really see anybody else caring for her the way u did? dont think so. So if shes gonna move on, she HAS to upgrade from you. And if u put ur all into it, that will be impossible and she will come back... just my guess!!

 

Shes trying to make it seem as if ur expendable, like "why are u even still trying?" type of thing... and she DOES still want u and love u, i think. thats why she COULDNT give u a clear reason. because shes not stupid. It doesnt make sense to have feelings for someone, and NOT want to be with them. which is why she doesnt have a clear answer for u... get it???

 

I think its just one big ass game... shes just more IMmature than u, thats all. U just gotta play this big ass game for awhile... which sucks sooooo bad for good guys like u and me, because YOU KNOW ur the best man for her, and she doesnt wanna see it... well hey put it this way, if she really thinks she can do better, let her... let her FAIL trying. and u do u in the meantime. then after a few months... SHE WILL come back. im a firm believer in that... im starting to think of my other ex's and they DID all try to come back, cuz i was the same loving caring way towards all of them. And pretty soon YOUR ex should realize that ur the best possible option... Thats why a lot of times, guys DONT take their ex's back. cuz its like "you had ur chance to be with me. and u chose to talk that other dude. i guess he treated u bad now u running back? dont think so..."

 

So keep ur head up and continue no contact. I think ur doing the 100% correct thing so far. Just remember im right there with u playing the same heartbreaking game... If/when she comes back just be prepared to sift thru her bullshet and make sure shes honest... and if she doesnt come back, then oh well, u put urself out there and she DECLINED... not much more u can do. just accept that she LOST her best bet at having a good man the REST of her life...

 

"I wont stop wont mess my groove up cuz i already know how this thing go. You run and tell your friends that your leavin me, they say that they dont see what u see in me, you wait a couple months and u gon' see, you'll never find nobody better than mee" -kanye west

[joshextreme]

Man dont even worry about that shet josh. U already know im goin thru the exact same thing!! matter fact i aslo went thru it in hs, right around prom time too!!!

 

I think with ur text u did ALL u could. matter fact u put urself OUT there for her, shes well aware u care and knows she can make it work if she put forth the slightest effort... but for some reason she wont... so fawk it! shes going thru one of her "feelin herself" stages where she thinks she can make the nxt guy fall in luv just as fast as u and have him crying over her just like u did. BUT if u were a good dude, shared great times, thought it was true love, blah blah, i 100% DOUBT shes gonna find that anywhere else. Its soooo stupid i know, but sometimes girls just gotta have their way. and if she "thinks" she can do better than u, than trust me, shes in for a rude awakening.

By putting urself out there, a lot of older ppl on here will disagree with u... but i think u did the right thing. Im 22, live in chicago, i KNOW how our young and stupid culture works... I think u just showed her something NO OTHER guy can give her. Do u really see anybody else caring for her the way u did? dont think so. So if shes gonna move on, she HAS to upgrade from you. And if u put ur all into it, that will be impossible and she will come back... just my guess!!

 

Shes trying to make it seem as if ur expendable, like "why are u even still trying?" type of thing... and she DOES still want u and love u, i think. thats why she COULDNT give u a clear reason. because shes not stupid. It doesnt make sense to have feelings for someone, and NOT want to be with them. which is why she doesnt have a clear answer for u... get it???

 

I think its just one big ass game... shes just more IMmature than u, thats all. U just gotta play this big ass game for awhile... which sucks sooooo bad for good guys like u and me, because YOU KNOW ur the best man for her, and she doesnt wanna see it... well hey put it this way, if she really thinks she can do better, let her... let her FAIL trying. and u do u in the meantime. then after a few months... SHE WILL come back. im a firm believer in that... im starting to think of my other ex's and they DID all try to come back, cuz i was the same loving caring way towards all of them. And pretty soon YOUR ex should realize that ur the best possible option... Thats why a lot of times, guys DONT take their ex's back. cuz its like "you had ur chance to be with me. and u chose to talk that other dude. i guess he treated u bad now u running back? dont think so..."

 

So keep ur head up and continue no contact. I think ur doing the 100% correct thing so far. Just remember im right there with u playing the same heartbreaking game... If/when she comes back just be prepared to sift thru her bullshet and make sure shes honest... and if she doesnt come back, then oh well, u put urself out there and she DECLINED... not much more u can do. just accept that she LOST her best bet at having a good man the REST of her life...

 

"I wont stop wont mess my groove up cuz i already know how this thing go. You run and tell your friends that your leavin me, they say that they dont see what u see in me, you wait a couple months and u gon' see, you'll never find nobody better than mee" -kanye west

 

you definitely put it into a whole new perspective for me. thanks so much man that means a lot

[shawn923]

you definitely put it into a whole new perspective for me. thanks so much man that means a lot

 

Lol np; It kinda felt like i was giving myself advice at the same time... trust me bro, this is the mind set we gotta have. Although here and there i still question maybe if i had done 1 or 2 things differently... but then i stop and REALLY think, F that, i DID ALL I COULD!!! all we can do now is make her miss u and make her realize what shes missing. And the quickest way to make her miss u is to leave her alone... it sucks, but hey thats what im trying! and also in the meantime from leaving her alone, you start LOSING feelings for her (i would guess) and sooner or later ur gonna see her for what she really is. And THEN is when you'll be recovered and ready for a upgrade. But just remember that it takes time... Its a snails pace for sure...

 

Hey idk if this advice is set in stone but its the best i can give u... and im also doing it myself i have spring break this upcoming week so i have an excuse to avoid her totally... hopefully she'll miss me in this time. Just ACT like u dont need her, as if youve moved on with a super model. Matter fact, try this exercise.... Wake up every morning as if Kim Kardashian was ur gf. And when u see her in school or have awkward situations, just smile, pay her no mind, and remember ur gf is kim kardashian... so why would u need her?? make HER come back to you, in a way where she would have to TOP Kim K in order to get back with u... Lmao idk just try it, something i thought of...

 

Seriously tho it WILL be hard, but u just gotta ACT like ur over her... Fake happiness as best u can, until u ARE happy...

Edited March 19, 2011 by shawn923

[joshextreme]

Lol np; It kinda felt like i was giving myself advice at the same time... trust me bro, this is the mind set we gotta have. Although here and there i still question maybe if i had done 1 or 2 things differently... but then i stop and REALLY think, F that, i DID ALL I COULD!!! all we can do now is make her miss u and make her realize what shes missing. And the quickest way to make her miss u is to leave her alone... it sucks, but hey thats what im trying! and also in the meantime from leaving her alone, you start LOSING feelings for her (i would guess) and sooner or later ur gonna see her for what she really is. And THEN is when you'll be recovered and ready for a upgrade. But just remember that it takes time... Its a snails pace for sure...

 

Hey idk if this advice is set in stone but its the best i can give u... and im also doing it myself i have spring break this upcoming week so i have an excuse to avoid her totally... hopefully she'll miss me in this time. Just ACT like u dont need her, as if youve moved on with a super model. Matter fact, try this exercise.... Wake up every morning as if Kim Kardashian was ur gf. And when u see her in school or have awkward situations, just smile, pay her no mind, and remember ur gf is kim kardashian... so why would u need her?? make HER come back to you, in a way where she would have to TOP Kim K in order to get back with u... Lmao idk just try it, something i thought of...

 

Seriously tho it WILL be hard, but u just gotta ACT like ur over her... Fake happiness as best u can, until u ARE happy...

 

lmao you're advice is sick . only time will tell. im really pissed she rescheduled her date with this creepy guy for next weekend cause i knew it wasnt gonna work out and if it didnt work out she'd come back to me sooner since prom is coming up. but now i gotta wait a week. actually i cant really decide if i should wait a week or ask her bestfriend who i know will say yes since we just talked about it haha

[shawn923]

Maaaaan that's GREAT news. I would def say yes to her best friend. Especially if she's the only other person u could go to prom with... This way u ain't even gotta tell ur ex what ur doing. U can keep NC. Let her best friend do the talking. She will eventually let ur ex know that u guys just planned to go on prom... And prom is a once in a lifetime thing. If this doesn't wake her up, then really, she just doesn't care about u... Cuz again, I did the same thing but it wasn't her best friend, it was another girl. But I committed to goin to prom with her, and it was almost last second before my ex at the time decided to hit me up saying it would only be right if we went... And we ended up goin. We got back together in the summer too! But then she left to the marines in august, so we broke it off... But remain bffs to this day. I guarantee we would still be together if not for that, and I wouldn't have even had to have gone thru this mess with my current ex... but I wasn't heartbroken at all, it was more of a mutual understanding.

 

Anyways, I HOPE my advice is good lol... Oh and the new guy, don't worry about his ass. It REALLY looks like she's doin it JUST to get a response outta u. I doubt if yall were in love, she just moves on so quickly... No chance. It's a ploy to see how much u care. Show her u don't. She can have his creepy ass, and u can have Kim k... She'll be back... Just play the ULTRA hard NC game for as long as it takes... Either she comes back, or u DO find a Kim k to call ur own which will make ur ex seem like a distant memory... If ur a good dude, you WILL find happiness. I'm a firm believer in karma... It's the simple fact u DESERVE a great woman and relationship. Just not now... Ur only 18... U potentially have 80 more years to find THE ONE

Edited March 20, 2011 by shawn923

[joshextreme]

Maaaaan that's GREAT news. I would def say yes to her best friend. Especially if she's the only other person u could go to prom with... This way u ain't even gotta tell ur ex what ur doing. U can keep NC. Let her best friend do the talking. She will eventually let ur ex know that u guys just planned to go on prom... And prom is a once in a lifetime thing. If this doesn't wake her up, then really, she just doesn't care about u... Cuz again, I did the same thing but it wasn't her best friend, it was another girl. But I committed to goin to prom with her, and it was almost last second before my ex at the time decided to hit me up saying it would only be right if we went... And we ended up goin. We got back together in the summer too! But then she left to the marines in august, so we broke it off... But remain bffs to this day. I guarantee we would still be together if not for that, and I wouldn't have even had to have gone thru this mess with my current ex... but I wasn't heartbroken at all, it was more of a mutual understanding.

 

Anyways, I HOPE my advice is good lol... Oh and the new guy, don't worry about his ass. It REALLY looks like she's doin it JUST to get a response outta u. I doubt if yall were in love, she just moves on so quickly... No chance. It's a ploy to see how much u care. Show her u don't. She can have his creepy ass, and u can have Kim k... She'll be back... Just play the ULTRA hard NC game for as long as it takes... Either she comes back, or u DO find a Kim k to call ur own which will make ur ex seem like a distant memory... If ur a good dude, you WILL find happiness. I'm a firm believer in karma... It's the simple fact u DESERVE a great woman and relationship. Just not now... Ur only 18... U potentially have 80 more years to find THE ONE

 

yeah bro you give great advice. definitely gave me a complete new look on things. from what i read from somewhere else the dumpers usually feel the crap of the break up months after. so if her and this creep dont work out its a big possibility she could come back. im not relying on it. for now i got her best friend who makes me laugh twice as much as my ex did.

[shawn923]

Lol. well just take it day by day... Time will heal all. And just remember karma is a b*tch... You'll be fine. Just keep doing what ur doin and u will be rewarded... Either she comes crawling back, or another girl, an upgrade, falls into ur lap! Dont rush love, it'll find u.... im a firm believer in that...

[joshextreme]

Lol. well just take it day by day... Time will heal all. And just remember karma is a b*tch... You'll be fine. Just keep doing what ur doin and u will be rewarded... Either she comes crawling back, or another girl, an upgrade, falls into ur lap! Dont rush love, it'll find u.... im a firm believer in that...

 

i found out today that the creep and her didnt work out, as i said they wouldnt. but my friend took it upon herself to ask my ex if she would consider going to prom with me and my ex put her head down and shook it no. :/

[guccimane99]

I was in a situation with my latest ex and she broke up with me after a month. I let her in treated her like a princess and made her feel like she was the only girl in the world. When she broke up with me it sorta came out of the blue cuz it was are one month and i made dinner for us and took her to a movie. She was a special girl and i wanted to make her feel special. I did the whole no contact thing and it worked but u gotta stick with it. I felt if i came back shed give me another chance boy was i wrong. I let her back in and she used me to get over me and then kicked me to the curb and she is dating some scumbag/user dbag who said all the right things. I said some ****ed up **** about him cuz i care about her but i don't want to see her get used. I saw her like a month later at school acted happy got a text read it and said "**** it its not worth it." I found someone else and she makes me feel way better. I don't know if she will come back but its not worth it. Moral is she's an ex for a reason she left once what makes u think she won't leave again. She may come back she may not honestly just move on and if she comes back go with it if u want but honestly there are so many better girls out there.

[mariasloss]

believe me she will call you once she realizes you are over her. if not then you did all you could....... its not in your control.