Mack05 Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 (edited) Hi :-) Over the past few weeks I have seen a lot of threads about people not getting closure from their ex's or about people moving on to other people very quickly. Let me tell you what those type of people are. They are cowards. They runaway from having to deal with their feelings and emotions. My ex for example decided to break up with me over the phone, because she knew I had questions for her, which she didn't want to have deal with face to face. Therefore she took the cowards way out. Before that she lied to her ex boyfriend about the real reasons why they were breaking up. I promise you that we are so much better of without these type of people in our lives. They keep running from their feelings and emotions, kidding themselves along the way. Looking for impossible dreams (Magical thinking) or immersing themselves in a new relationship so that they don't have to deal with their pain and emotions from a previous relationship. Bouncing from 'relationship' to 'relationship' kidding themselves... These people will NEVER find true love and happiness. It's impossible (unless they stop running and face their fears/demons/emotions/feelings). You can only run for so long, before your past catches up to you. I'm so happy I got to see the kind of character my ex really has. Behind the beautiful face is a scared little girl, who will always run, always kid herself. It's the people that suffer, that experience pain of losing someone that go on and become better people. The kind of people that make relationships work when they find the right person. I know alot of people are going through a tough time on this site. Just keep fighting everyday and when you overcome these obstacles, believe me you are going to be better people. Keep fighting, keep the spirits up. We may have lost the battle, but unlike the cowards that run, we will win the war and thats what counts! :-) Edited June 5, 2011 by Mack05 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Mack, you are probably right... but what does it matter? If it makes you feel better, that is cool I guess. We're still us. I'd rather focus on being a better person than lobbing blame at the gal that dumped me. She made her decisions, and I have to make mine. I don't want to come off as being an ass or being apologetic for callous dumping... I just don't want to get hung up on it, man. We've all been through enough. Link to post Share on other sites
TearyEyedPride Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 It's the people that suffer, that experience pain of losing someone that go on and become better people. The kind of people that make relationships work when they find the right person. I know alot of people are going through a tough time on this site. Just keep fighting everyday and when you overcome these obstacles, believe me you are going to be better people. Keep fighting, keep the spirits up. We may have lost the battle, but unlike the cowards that run, we will win the war and thats what counts! :-) Thank you so much for saying that! I needed that chin up for hope of something better. Link to post Share on other sites
PelicanPete Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Mack I'm proud of you. If your ex left you like that, you'll soon realize your ex was only weighing you down from your full potential. Face your fears, fight your demons, and surround yourself with positive people and you'll go as far in life as you want. My ex moved across the country and married the guy she left me for 4 months after our break up. She can change her surroundings and situation as much as she wants, but that will never satisfy her constant insecurity. I hope she is happy and she has a long and happy marriage, but I'm never dating a coward like her ever again. I'd rather be alone. Take their example and learn to be happy with yourself. Use a relationship to enhance your life, and not complete your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Legacy1 Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Mack, thank thank thank you as I needed to see something like this today. My ex has decided to run and leave me in limbo-(total silence) without having to face any type of questions etc for her actions. I found out yesterday she had played the same game on her ex before me...you know what burns my ass though...she had used the same songs, the same facebook statues and same texts for me as she did with her last ex....all the while she was still married! Bro, if you were here I would buy you a beer! THANK YOU!!! Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 My ex refuses to come and talk to me in person, why can't he just come and finish with me properly and be honest with me, instead of hiding behind friendship. I don't know how much more I can take. Link to post Share on other sites
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 All very true...however we are not better than these cowards because its not a comparison...if we deal with the pain and sit here with it then yes the healing that we get is real and we learn from it etc and they escape it til it catches up to them and they end up living emptiness but guess what for some people thats enough. not all people want or need a rich healthy relationship. so we dont compare ourselves to them. what your ex has to offer is something you dont want so enough said. Good job of pointing that out for yourself (and us) Link to post Share on other sites
GivenUp0083 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Thank you for this. It's hard to realize this sometimes, but youre absolutely right. I'm saving this for myself to be a reminder for when I feel weak, this will make me feel stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
cwmerk Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Well said Mack. My Gf of 7 years broke up with me over the phone a week after I bought her a $800 necklace and she wont even talk to me about it. Just called up said what she needed to say and hung up. Didnt even let me get a word in. I plan on confronting her soon... Link to post Share on other sites
sabienne Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 This is just what I needed to read today Mack05! Thank you so much. My ex of 6.5 years literally walked out the door on me one night...while I was recovering from appendicitis surgery. That was two months ago. We have met face to face once, and he was so rude and cold and condescending. The only explanation I have ever recieved is "I don't want to (be with you) anymore". He's always been one to repress his emotions, but this is ridiculous. I have been NC for 32 days, and I came here today because I was SO SO SO tempted to contact him. Needed a reminder why I shouldn't and this did it. So thank you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Unfortunately this has happened to me. My ex callously dumped me completely out of the blue. He dumped me by text and insulted me by text. He called me crazy and blamed everything on me, as these types of people do. Really not good enough after dating a year. Refused to talk to me, let alone have the decency to talk to me. Basically just up and left. Had another girl 5 mintutes later. Always jumping from one person to the next. No breaks inbetween. To this day I haven't heard one word from him. I feel really sorry for the next people that date these cowards. They have no idea what they're in for. I hope that someone leaves them in the place where they left us. Link to post Share on other sites
mogul Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 There are two sides to a breakup. I have my fair share of regrets and often times blame myself for the demise of my relationship. Yes, my ex broke up with me. Yes, she moved on in a fairly quick amount of time (a little over a month). However, I am not bitter towards her. Ultimately, I am grateful for her and our time spent. I eventually hope one day we can be friends. It is a waste to spend so much time with someone, love them, grow together only to end up as strangers. I certainly have learned a lot with the break up and will not make the same mistakes in my next relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ItsRainingAgain Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Hi :-) Over the past few weeks I have seen a lot of threads about people not getting closure from their ex's or about people moving on to other people very quickly. Let me tell you what those type of people are. They are cowards. They runaway from having to deal with their feelings and emotions. My ex for example decided to break up with me over the phone, because she knew I had questions for her, which she didn't want to have deal with face to face. Therefore she took the cowards way out. Before that she lied to her ex boyfriend about the real reasons why they were breaking up. I promise you that we are so much better of without these type of people in our lives. They keep running from their feelings and emotions, kidding themselves along the way. Looking for impossible dreams (Magical thinking) or immersing themselves in a new relationship so that they don't have to deal with their pain and emotions from a previous relationship. Bouncing from 'relationship' to 'relationship' kidding themselves... These people will NEVER find true love and happiness. It's impossible (unless they stop running and face their fears/demons/emotions/feelings). You can only run for so long, before your past catches up to you. I'm so happy I got to see the kind of character my ex really has. Behind the beautiful face is a scared little girl, who will always run, always kid herself. It's the people that suffer, that experience pain of losing someone that go on and become better people. The kind of people that make relationships work when they find the right person. I know alot of people are going through a tough time on this site. Just keep fighting everyday and when you overcome these obstacles, believe me you are going to be better people. Keep fighting, keep the spirits up. We may have lost the battle, but unlike the cowards that run, we will win the war and thats what counts! :-) That sums up my (ex) boyfriend....COWARD! Over the phone but never even said that it was over....he couldn't even do that COWARD....just yelled and was very angry. Been about a month and a half...three weeks NC...I will have to read this again when I feel like breaking NC. Thanks Mack05 We will win the war! Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 thank you for this Mack! after months of being distant and keeping me at bay - - in spite of my asking him what was wrong - - my ex finally lashed out at me via an incredibly harsh e-mail. i went NC soon after that. he sent me a few text messages which i caved in and replied to. without my asking he explained that he sent me those text msgs because it was his way of saying "no hard feelings" over the e-mail he sent. looking back now i wish i hadn't broken NC and let him stew. at any rate after a few weeks of talking to him over IM (he never was keen on seeing me in person - - he only wanted to communicate over text/IM - - another indication of how cowardly he is) i got tired of listening to him regale me with his dating adventures and talk about the women he was meeting and went back to NC. i haven't heard from him since. and while there is still a part of me that wishes he would reach out, another part of me is glad that he stays away. besides, if he were to contact me now, i doubt it would be to say anything meaningful or be what i want to hear Link to post Share on other sites
AmericanHoney Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Cowards are generally Narcissistic. My ex was very,very Narcissistic. I should of known he would turn out to be a coward:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Flight is one option for dealing with danger. It's a shame that many of us feel that's the only option, especially when the dangers are not life-threatening. Often they are perceived but not real. Misunderstanding is one of the biggest relationship killers. Live, love, learn. Work like you don't need the money Dance like no-one is looking Love like you've never been hurt Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Often, the path of least resistance leads away. Each of us chooses our path. 'Closure', consisting of 'reasons' and 'clarity', is a wonderful, if sometimes painful, thing. Some people have an intrinsic aversion to this kind of pain, and the attendant responsibility for their role. We all have roles and we all have responsibility. All one can do is make their best effort and accept that it was valid. Give it your best shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyfuzz Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 My ex broke up with me, a week later begged me back, to then say they dont know what they want, then for 2 weeks lead me on thinking we were working on our relationship and then came to the conclusion we arnt going to be together, i wasnt given any reasons just said im sorry you have feelings but we can still be friends, they were already moving on the day after we broke up, but lead me on till they deffantly found someone, only problem with that was that after i left, the person they were trying to get with didnt want them anymore. Ive been no contact for 3 days now and as much as i miss them, it actualy feels nice to have no drama in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I can relate to that! A nice cup of hot milk and a decent night's sleep is much better than dealing with someone living like they're in a soap opera. Link to post Share on other sites
AmericanHoney Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Does anyone agree with me that cowards are generally narcissistic?? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 AmericanHoney I agree with you. I know my ex who did this was a narcissist. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hi :-) Over the past few weeks I have seen a lot of threads about people not getting closure from their ex's or about people moving on to other people very quickly. Let me tell you what those type of people are. They are cowards. They runaway from having to deal with their feelings and emotions. My ex for example decided to break up with me over the phone, because she knew I had questions for her, which she didn't want to have deal with face to face. Therefore she took the cowards way out. Before that she lied to her ex boyfriend about the real reasons why they were breaking up. I promise you that we are so much better of without these type of people in our lives. They keep running from their feelings and emotions, kidding themselves along the way. Looking for impossible dreams (Magical thinking) or immersing themselves in a new relationship so that they don't have to deal with their pain and emotions from a previous relationship. Bouncing from 'relationship' to 'relationship' kidding themselves... These people will NEVER find true love and happiness. It's impossible (unless they stop running and face their fears/demons/emotions/feelings). You can only run for so long, before your past catches up to you. I'm so happy I got to see the kind of character my ex really has. Behind the beautiful face is a scared little girl, who will always run, always kid herself. It's the people that suffer, that experience pain of losing someone that go on and become better people. The kind of people that make relationships work when they find the right person. I know alot of people are going through a tough time on this site. Just keep fighting everyday and when you overcome these obstacles, believe me you are going to be better people. Keep fighting, keep the spirits up. We may have lost the battle, but unlike the cowards that run, we will win the war and thats what counts! :-) This advice is remarkable and very insightful. You are absolutely correct. Thank you for sharing this very well written piece of insight with me. I appreciate it. You learned from your experience and gave me insight into my own. Thank you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 I can relate to that! A nice cup of hot milk and a decent night's sleep is much better than dealing with someone living like they're in a soap opera. God you are so right about that! Simplicity is beautiful, especially best appreciated after intense drama and extreme heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Does anyone agree with me that cowards are generally narcissistic?? Narcississts are such dangerous creatures. It is an actual mental disorder, and typically incureable (although they may go to counseling at your insistence and then lie endlessly to the counselor for the thrill of continued manipulation and to postpone an eventual break up). I learned that insight from this wonderful place: http://www.lisaescott.com/ I am not a fan of Narcissists. They are inherently dishonest bullies. They ruin lives and destroy mental health. But they are the ones who are mentally ill. Link to post Share on other sites
VELVET21 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hi :-) Over the past few weeks I have seen a lot of threads about people not getting closure from their ex's or about people moving on to other people very quickly. Let me tell you what those type of people are. They are cowards. They runaway from having to deal with their feelings and emotions. My ex for example decided to break up with me over the phone, because she knew I had questions for her, which she didn't want to have deal with face to face. Therefore she took the cowards way out. Before that she lied to her ex boyfriend about the real reasons why they were breaking up. I promise you that we are so much better of without these type of people in our lives. They keep running from their feelings and emotions, kidding themselves along the way. Looking for impossible dreams (Magical thinking) or immersing themselves in a new relationship so that they don't have to deal with their pain and emotions from a previous relationship. Bouncing from 'relationship' to 'relationship' kidding themselves... These people will NEVER find true love and happiness. It's impossible (unless they stop running and face their fears/demons/emotions/feelings). You can only run for so long, before your past catches up to you. I'm so happy I got to see the kind of character my ex really has. Behind the beautiful face is a scared little girl, who will always run, always kid herself. It's the people that suffer, that experience pain of losing someone that go on and become better people. The kind of people that make relationships work when they find the right person. I know alot of people are going through a tough time on this site. Just keep fighting everyday and when you overcome these obstacles, believe me you are going to be better people. Keep fighting, keep the spirits up. We may have lost the battle, but unlike the cowards that run, we will win the war and thats what counts! :-) thank you i needed to read something like this..my exbroke up with me by email and then wont even answer my calls...but ur right people like this are cowards. I just keep asking myself if i could ever forget about him at let him go just like he did with me....anyway thank u i really neede to readthis Link to post Share on other sites
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