We are done after 7 yrs....

[Kuite09]

Hey guys, I am so hoping you can help me with my situation.

 

Ive been dating my man (now ex) for a total of 7 yrs (2004), we did break up back in 2007 for a year or so and got back together.

Since sometime last August everything went down hill from there due to trust issues on my end mostly and a bit on his end and arguing for little stupid things including insecurities.

We were considered broken up since August but continued to see each other and "TRY" making it work, things weren't the same.

In March we decided to call it quits, we both have strong feelings foreach other but so much has damaged us that he stated he rather end it.He continued to tell me he loves me but he just can't do it no morehe's feelings have changed and his hope has faded due to all thebickering and arguing.

When we broke up in March there was limited contact but when there was contact it was decent.

In late march my grandfather passed and he was there for me helping methru it all, soon after that I had another family issue and he wasthere for me as well. After everything passed is when I started thecalling, the texting and emailing asking why we had to end this. Istarted to drive him crazy!

 

So it was on and off arguing for days then Memorial weekend last monthI went out with some friends and sprained my ankle real bad and Icalled him telling him I was going to the hospital. He was there withme the whole time and took me home and took care of me for the day.

After he left I felt better like I had hope but then I felt soconfused. He stated everything again that he loves me and cant be withme right now due to me pushing and my attitude problems towards him butthe fact that he was there to help me should say enough.

 

He did mention before my injury that he he met someone but that it was nothing serious..that drove me insane plus hes never been the jerk type to just mess around with girls.

I still don't understand why he even told me that he did meet someone???

 

 

I guess cuz I was driving him crazy asking him 100 times whats going on.

So when he was with me at my house taking care of me Ikept throwing in his face that he is seeing someone and he got him realangry.

 

He's told me so many times he loves me and he wanted everything with me,marriage, children etc but our relationship changed and his feelings toobut he still does love me and I am very special to him.

 

Bottom line, since I got injured I spoke to him a day later and haven'theard from him again and its going to be 2 weeks tomorrow and he hasn'teven called to see how I am feeling.

I understand he might be scared to talk to me because every time we do talk I am always arguing, bickering or nagging.

 

I havnt called, emailed or anything....all he said when we last spoke was that he was truly disapointed things had to end because I was "it" for him and that he loves me to death no matter what.

 

I don't know what to do because I truly love him but I feel likes he is just so tired of me.

 

Hes a very emotional person and just continues to tell me I just want to be honest and tell you I love u but I can't do it anymore, he constantly tells me that I am extremely special to him and that Ive always been his soul mate.

 

I am 28 and he is 35.

 

Any advice would help guys....thanks so much for listening.

Edited June 14, 2011 by Kuite09
Error

[Royal Guy]

Hey guys, I am so hoping you can help me with my situation.

 

Ive been dating my man (now ex) for a total of 7 yrs (2004), we did break up back in 2007 for a year or so and got back together.

Since sometime last August everything went down hill from there due to trust issues on my end mostly and a bit on his end and arguing for little stupid things including insecurities.

We were considered broken up since August but continued to see each other and "TRY" making it work, things weren't the same.

In March we decided to call it quits, we both have strong feelings foreach other but so much has damaged us that he stated he rather end it.He continued to tell me he loves me but he just can't do it no morehe's feelings have changed and his hope has faded due to all thebickering and arguing.

When we broke up in March there was limited contact but when there was contact it was decent.

In late march my grandfather passed and he was there for me helping methru it all, soon after that I had another family issue and he wasthere for me as well. After everything passed is when I started thecalling, the texting and emailing asking why we had to end this. Istarted to drive him crazy!

 

So it was on and off arguing for days then Memorial weekend last monthI went out with some friends and sprained my ankle real bad and Icalled him telling him I was going to the hospital. He was there withme the whole time and took me home and took care of me for the day.

After he left I felt better like I had hope but then I felt soconfused. He stated everything again that he loves me and cant be withme right now due to me pushing and my attitude problems towards him butthe fact that he was there to help me should say enough.

 

He did mention before my injury that he he met someone but that it was nothing serious..that drove me insane plus hes never been the jerk type to just mess around with girls.

I still don't understand why he even told me that he did meet someone???

 

 

I guess cuz I was driving him crazy asking him 100 times whats going on.

So when he was with me at my house taking care of me Ikept throwing in his face that he is seeing someone and he got him realangry.

 

He's told me so many times he loves me and he wanted everything with me,marriage, children etc but our relationship changed and his feelings toobut he still does love me and I am very special to him.

 

Bottom line, since I got injured I spoke to him a day later and haven'theard from him again and its going to be 2 weeks tomorrow and he hasn'teven called to see how I am feeling.

I understand he might be scared to talk to me because every time we do talk I am always arguing, bickering or nagging.

 

I havnt called, emailed or anything....all he said when we last spoke was that he was truly disapointed things had to end because I was "it" for him and that he loves me to death no matter what.

 

I don't know what to do because I truly love him but I feel likes he is just so tired of me.

 

Hes a very emotional person and just continues to tell me I just want to be honest and tell you I love u but I can't do it anymore, he constantly tells me that I am extremely special to him and that Ive always been his soul mate.

 

I am 28 and he is 35.

 

Any advice would help guys....thanks so much for listening.

 

Hi Kuite09,

 

Certain things did go right over my head but still I can make out that you guys are sitting on a sea-saw and nobody wants to get up and say goodbye. You both do love each other but need to learn that times passing by and you guys are still standing in the same position since really long time (especially you). I am not saying move on but talk it out and call it over, stay away from each other and find a better life but the way you guys love each other that desperately that only death can part you, solve the issues between you guys.

 

I know I am sounding impossible, trust me 7 years is a long long time, getting rid of affection for someone whom you love from the bottom of your heart and already consider him to be your soul mate, is not easy at all.

 

Its not easy to change oneself and its not easy to let go someone you love sooo much. But someday or the other you need to hit the shore else your boat will keep moving around in the sea directionless only hurting you guys more.

 

Right now as you guys have not communicated since 2 weeks, NC is on by default. Try to continue it and see where it takes you.

 

But during this NC do things that make you happy rather than remembering him, go out at different places, go for runaway vacation with friends, visit your friends, do all that keeps you busy and leads you towards a better life. I am a good preacher and bad at following, I am going through **** myself but giving advices to everybody. But I hope you are good at following.

 

I learnt a lot from guys at LS and just trying to reflect that onto you, I hope you catch it.

Edited June 14, 2011 by Royal Guy

[Kuite09]

Thanks for your advice Royal Guy!

 

I just feel so stuck now, during this whole mess before we went on NC all he kept saying was that he wanted us to get along and be civil no b.s or drama.

I guess due to my emotions that didnt happen cuz I was so hurt I just kepted asking why why why, when I knew why and I knew we were doing so good but I guess I just didn't want to accept the break up.

 

Once he told me he was seeing someone it was during an argument over the phone and hes like "is that what you wanted to hear" you are driving me crazy when I am just telling you to cool off but your too stuborn to listen.

 

I still have no clue why he told me hes seeing someone, did he tell me just becuz or cuz he wants me to move on? or what?

He also kept saying no matter if I am with someone or not I am still here explaining myself to you!

 

At this point I do want to continue to do the NC thing. I havnt emailed, texted or anything hoping that maybe he will contact me.

I do much appriciate him being there for me when I got injured but I just thought he would call me up every now and then to see how I am doing but since last time we spoke it wasnt so great then it was followed by a texting war, I guess Im the last person he wants to speak with right now.

[Kuite09]

Should I still have hope???