Would you date a pregnant girl?

[Von]

Wow it's been awhile. Here's my hilarious dating situation I'm in ( keep the LOL's to a minimum):

 

I met this girl a year and a half ago. We hooked up the night we met (no sex) but never met again after me trying to see her for about a month (she tells me now that at the time she wasn't ready for a relationship but also mentions in different convos she was on and off with this one guy, so that's most likely the real reason, and he was around at the time).

 

Just recently saw her on POF, we started txting, facebooked, she deleted her POF account, we met and have been seeing each other ever since. We get along great, attracted to each other, talk everyday, hangout alot, took a beach trip with her and her kid, and are basically in a relationship without the titles. But here's the kicker... She is FIVE months pregnant. Woah right??!!!!!

 

The father is out of the picture. They had been together 6 months but she said he was basically a loser with no job or drive to get one. She says he can be there for the birth if he wants but any chance of dating her is over. (I'm sure there is other things I don't know about behind the scenes... Ugh, women. Lol)

 

I can totally see myself getting serious with her as time goes by and I learn more about her (and more info on the ex and new baby). Hell I'm even helping her pick out a name. (I'm thinking in my mind... Along comes me and shwooosh... New baby daddy. Lol)

 

I obviously have everything she needs in a proper man. I know I'd make a great father/step father. But..... Should I? Would it be better to be doing all this AFTER the baby is born?? Crazy huh?

 

To add a little more spice to the story, I started talking again to another girl I met online 5 months ago who I wanted VERY BAD and would make a great future girlfriend/wife. We started talking again before the other girl. Were just being casual kinda friends first but I can tell it will go somewhere this time if I pursue it. We haven't met again yet but have tried a few times but plans got interrupted but it's gunna happen at some point.

 

On top of all that my buddies hooked me up with another girl though all we do is txt and I'm doing it more as an obligation to them be she also has potential. And she is pursuing me to meet.

 

Ugh!!! what should I do? Hell all three would make good partners. And I have had no intention of multi-dating it's just fallen in my lap. I need to pick one. The most put together and ready girl is the 5month ago one. The prego one is working hard to get there eventually too. And the third one I just haven't even met yet.

 

What would you guys do? I really like the first two so I'm leaning to one of them but I also don't want to Hurt anyone.

[Ginger Beer]

Personally I would never date a pregnant girl.

[tb24]

I wouldn't ever date a pregnant girl. It's just not worth the hassle. A few months down the line you're not going to be doing much 'dating'!

 

Then again, I wouldn't date a girl with children, for various reasons.

[ascendotum]

She's 5 mths pregnant and...”They had been together 6 months but she said he was basically a loser with no job or drive to get one.” She gets herself preggers to a guy she rates a loser. Hey her lucky kid is going to inherit 'loser' DNA. Sorry but I've known a few women like this, and I don’t have a high opinion of them. 1. Don't f*** a loser to begin with and if you feel the need, 2. make sure you take care of contraception or the backup option.

Von, it’s up to you, but I'd just have some fun for the time being (you did say date) but not get carried away with being a new daddy for this woman’s multi partner brood. Put your efforts into pursing the other prospects if you have a LTR in mind, thats just my opinion.

Also your options are not just limited to 3 you know.

[oaks]

What would you guys do?

 

I wouldn't date the pregnant woman in that situation. She's going to have other things on her mind than dating me as the weeks go on, and some serious practical limitations in her ability to date before too long.

 

You say that you "are basically in a relationship without the titles". Let me put those words in a different way. You are not in a relationship.

[mysteriousbox]

Why go through the drama and trouble when there's so many other options? She gets knocked up by someone with no job/career/life and is now looking for a good beta male to take care of her? Sounds like a recipe for a disaster or an affair...

[grkBoy]

Would you date a pregnant girl?

No.

 

 

Look at it this way...would she have dated you if she was not pregnant?

 

This all sounds like she was "eh" about you before and wanted some other guy. Now that guy knocked her up and ran...and she's seeing a quick solution to avoid being a single mom.

 

Always ask yourself if this woman would have dated you if she was not pregnant. If the answer is "no" or "not really", then move on.

[rafallus]

Nope.

 

I don't want kids at this point, so pregnant girls are ones I'll actively avoid.

[Damien]

No.

 

Look at it this way...would she have dated you if she was not pregnant?

 

This all sounds like she was "eh" about you before and wanted some other guy. Now that guy knocked her up and ran...and she's seeing a quick solution to avoid being a single mom.

 

Always ask yourself if this woman would have dated you if she was not pregnant. If the answer is "no" or "not really", then move on.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself

[Sugarkane]

No.

 

 

Look at it this way...would she have dated you if she was not pregnant?

 

This all sounds like she was "eh" about you before and wanted some other guy. Now that guy knocked her up and ran...and she's seeing a quick solution to avoid being a single mom.

 

Always ask yourself if this woman would have dated you if she was not pregnant. If the answer is "no" or "not really", then move on.

I totally agree. If I was a guy I wouldn't date someone thats pregnant. Especially one that gets herself pregnant to someone she describes as a loser. Maybe she should have thought about that before she had sex with him?

When she has the baby, it will be all about the baby for some time. You will be #2 in the relationship.

[Feelsgoodman]

Ugh!!! what should I do? Hell all three would make good partners.

If you consider a woman pregnant with a child of a man she describes as a loser with no job and no drive a good prospect for a future wife, my only advice is that you avoid trusting your own judgment on such things AT ALL COST.

[TheCoolest]

Wow it's been awhile. Here's my hilarious dating situation I'm in ( keep the LOL's to a minimum):

 

I met this girl a year and a half ago. We hooked up the night we met (no sex) but never met again after me trying to see her for about a month (she tells me now that at the time she wasn't ready for a relationship but also mentions in different convos she was on and off with this one guy, so that's most likely the real reason, and he was around at the time).

 

Just recently saw her on POF, we started txting, facebooked, she deleted her POF account, we met and have been seeing each other ever since. We get along great, attracted to each other, talk everyday, hangout alot, took a beach trip with her and her kid, and are basically in a relationship without the titles. But here's the kicker... She is FIVE months pregnant. Woah right??!!!!!

 

The father is out of the picture. They had been together 6 months but she said he was basically a loser with no job or drive to get one. She says he can be there for the birth if he wants but any chance of dating her is over. (I'm sure there is other things I don't know about behind the scenes... Ugh, women. Lol)

 

I can totally see myself getting serious with her as time goes by and I learn more about her (and more info on the ex and new baby). Hell I'm even helping her pick out a name. (I'm thinking in my mind... Along comes me and shwooosh... New baby daddy. Lol)

 

I obviously have everything she needs in a proper man. I know I'd make a great father/step father. But..... Should I? Would it be better to be doing all this AFTER the baby is born?? Crazy huh?

 

To add a little more spice to the story, I started talking again to another girl I met online 5 months ago who I wanted VERY BAD and would make a great future girlfriend/wife. We started talking again before the other girl. Were just being casual kinda friends first but I can tell it will go somewhere this time if I pursue it. We haven't met again yet but have tried a few times but plans got interrupted but it's gunna happen at some point.

 

On top of all that my buddies hooked me up with another girl though all we do is txt and I'm doing it more as an obligation to them be she also has potential. And she is pursuing me to meet.

 

Ugh!!! what should I do? Hell all three would make good partners. And I have had no intention of multi-dating it's just fallen in my lap. I need to pick one. The most put together and ready girl is the 5month ago one. The prego one is working hard to get there eventually too. And the third one I just haven't even met yet.

 

What would you guys do? I really like the first two so I'm leaning to one of them but I also don't want to Hurt anyone.

Would i date a pregnant girl? If we got along well i sure would. Would i be thinking of myself as the pregnant girls baby daddy? No. I think that is where you take things a little too far. You are NOT the babies dad and you are NOT her husband therefore you shouldn't even be worried about HER baby. If you like her date her. But as a single man you should have more then two female prospects. And you should definitely be leaning towards the one who isn't having another mans baby. Just my personal opinion.

[aj22one]

Even a pregnant girl could do better than me.

 

My thoughts exactly. I'd probably consider dating anyone who would have me.

[tigressA]

No.

 

 

Look at it this way...would she have dated you if she was not pregnant?

 

This all sounds like she was "eh" about you before and wanted some other guy. Now that guy knocked her up and ran...and she's seeing a quick solution to avoid being a single mom.

 

Always ask yourself if this woman would have dated you if she was not pregnant. If the answer is "no" or "not really", then move on.

 

Agreed. And you need to up your standards, OP. A girl who got herself knocked up by someone who she herself describes as a total loser is not much of a prize at all.

[Star Gazer]

Agreed. And you need to up your standards, OP. A girl who got herself knocked up by someone who she herself describes as a total loser is not much of a prize at all.

 

C'mon, TA... EVERY woman has dated a loser (in one form or another) at one point in her life, including me and YOU.

[Star Gazer]

It sounds like the OP is trying to "shoplift the pootie." There's nothing wrong with dating a pregnant woman or a single mother, but there is something very wrong with leading such a woman to believe you're going to be there when you have eyes for someone else.

[musemaj11]

No.

 

 

Look at it this way...would she have dated you if she was not pregnant?

 

This all sounds like she was "eh" about you before and wanted some other guy. Now that guy knocked her up and ran...and she's seeing a quick solution to avoid being a single mom.

 

Always ask yourself if this woman would have dated you if she was not pregnant. If the answer is "no" or "not really", then move on.

Lol, great minds think alike.

 

This line of thinking is one of my most effective ways to protect myself against disingenuous women. Being cynical goes a long way.

[Von]

Wow interesting responses. Let me clarify a few things that may make things clearer for you all.

 

First, all of these women have a kid. I'm 34 so it's expected in my age group. I haven't even dated a women that DIDN'T have a kid in years. Not only am I used to it, but I enjoy their children. And no, I do not try to be babies daddy, I was kidding about that hence the LOL after that statement. I'm actually, for some strange reason, attracted to women with kids. Maybe because I want one. Also because I know that they are stable. I know that on a Sat night they are at home instead of out at some club every weekend getting laid and racking up the number of partners they have had. Trust me a 34 year old single woman with no kids will have had alot more sexual partners than one that has had kids. Ok let's just kill this argument. I do not see kids as baggage, I seen them as a plus.

 

As far as the prego girls ex baby daddy, he is not the same guy that she was off and on with a year and a half ago. Different men. They dated for about six months prior to her getting pregnant, and in that time he lost his job and never cared to go for another, hence he became a loser. I certainly am not going to judge her on her past, I think that's immature. Every relationship is different.

 

I know I'm defending her but she is a really sweet girl. And yes she would date me if she wasn't pregnant. You have to remember she already has one kid, and in ONLY FOUR months she will no longer be pregnant, and she wants me to still be around. I have already told her that I dont want to be a baby daddy, but I love kids and if we were to get serious I'd like to be their friend. The same goes for the other girls I've talked to.

 

I guess I'll let things pan out naturally

[in_absentia]

Seems like people are coming down pretty hard on this girl for getting pregnant to what she considers to be a loser... well NO form of contraception is 100% foolproof, and not everybody is pro-choice when it comes to abortions.. maybe a mistake happened and she's living with it?

 

What would concern me about her and make me not date her is the fact that she is WILLING to date during this pregnancy, any sane, sensible person would be thinking 'okay, I already have one child, I'm pregnant with another by a different guy so I should really focus right now on the upcoming baby and helping my existing child through these changes'. Not, 'ooh I'll get into ANOTHER dude, let him meet my child and allow him, a guy who isn't the baby's father, to help me choose names'!!!!!

 

Seriously? She is letting you help choose names? She's trying to jam you into the daddy hole. How confused must be child be knowing that his/her parents aren't together, mommy's having a baby with another man who isn't gonna be around anymore and here she is with a new guy?

 

I just think you're playing with fire. I'm a woman but if I were a guy I'd be majorly creeped out having sex with a lady pregnant to another man, too.

[Von]

Seems like people are coming down pretty hard on this girl for getting pregnant to what she considers to be a loser... well NO form of contraception is 100% foolproof, and not everybody is pro-choice when it comes to abortions.. maybe a mistake happened and she's living with it?

 

What would concern me about her and make me not date her is the fact that she is WILLING to date during this pregnancy, any sane, sensible person would be thinking 'okay, I already have one child, I'm pregnant with another by a different guy so I should really focus right now on the upcoming baby and helping my existing child through these changes'. Not, 'ooh I'll get into ANOTHER dude, let him meet my child and allow him, a guy who isn't the baby's father, to help me choose names'!!!!!

 

Seriously? She is letting you help choose names? She's trying to jam you into the daddy hole. How confused must be child be knowing that his/her parents aren't together, mommy's having a baby with another man who isn't gonna be around anymore and here she is with a new guy?

 

I just think you're playing with fire. I'm a woman but if I were a guy I'd be majorly creeped out having sex with a lady pregnant to another man, too.

 

Those are some good points. I'm definitely gunna bring up those concerns with her at some point for my own good. I want a happy healthy relationship. I'm pretty sure she can give that but I wanna make sure I'm not wasting my time.

 

People have dated under stranger circumstances so I'm not closed minded to it all.

[Von]

It sounds like the OP is trying to "shoplift the pootie." There's nothing wrong with dating a pregnant woman or a single mother, but there is something very wrong with leading such a woman to believe you're going to be there when you have eyes for someone else.

 

Haha. I don't know about shoplifting pooties. I wouldn't have come here for advice if I just wanted to lead a bunch of girls on. I do want to date just one which is why I'm trying to make a decision on one sooner rather than later. It's just a hard decision for me since they all have alot to offer. And they are all very good looking and good people from what I know, to those that are wondering...

[Banker Chick]

What would concern me about her and make me not date her is the fact that she is WILLING to date during this pregnancy, any sane, sensible person would be thinking 'okay, I already have one child, I'm pregnant with another by a different guy so I should really focus right now on the upcoming baby and helping my existing child through these changes'. Not, 'ooh I'll get into ANOTHER dude, let him meet my child and allow him, a guy who isn't the baby's father, to help me choose names'!!!!!

 

Seriously? She is letting you help choose names? She's trying to jam you into the daddy hole. How confused must be child be knowing that his/her parents aren't together, mommy's having a baby with another man who isn't gonna be around anymore and here she is with a new guy?

 

I just think you're playing with fire. I'm a woman but if I were a guy I'd be majorly creeped out having sex with a lady pregnant to another man, too.

Have to agree with this. As a pregnant woman, if my bf and I didn't work out, I can't imagine in a million years getting online to date. I have WAY more important things to worry about and I would assume no one would want to get involved in my drama. If I'm currently pregnant, that means I was with someone not that long ago, and it wouldn't be unusual for prospective dates to wonder what the heck was going on with that recent relationship. I wonder at what point do you bring that up in conversation? Post a picture of your baby bump on your profile or mention it casually when setting up your first date?

 

That being said, I can see where it's also nice to have the support of someone when going through this process. I'm sure she appreciates you being there and "filling that role" if not officially.

 

Have you hung out with the other child she has? Like in_absentia mentioned, it has to be confusing to the child to see these men come in and out.

 

I did have a close friend that when we were in our early 20's she was FWB with her ex. They couldn't get along to make a relationship work but couldn't say no to the hot sex either. You guessed it, she ended up pregnant. While he was there to be a good dad, they were in no way wanting to try to be together. She waited to date until after the baby was a few months old but she did find someone that was willing to give her situation a chance.

[Von]

Update:

 

Yep, I did it. Made love to the pregnant girl. Wasn't as bad as you would think, it was pretty good. And yes, I was considerate of not harming baby. I know, it's so wrong right! Lol. I don't care, she liked it and there was no issues. And I had a talk with her about the concerns you guys mentioned and there unfounded. She had left the baby daddy because he treated his own previous child like crap. So she didn't want that for the new baby. And I made sure, and she agreed, that I'm not a replacement baby daddy. We are dating because we like each other, no underlying reasons. Shes a great girl and a good mom and thats all that matters on her parenting side. At the most I will be their friend, and if by chance we get married someday I can decide then to step in as a father figure.

 

So I say to anyone who comes across this kinda situation, if your ok with kids and the girl is pregnant be open and communicate and then it doesn't matter what the situation is, because maturity can handle anything. She is well worth the outside negative perception.

[musemaj11]

Lol, if all thieves fessed up, we wouldnt need police.

[Eeyore79]

She had the opportunity to be with you a year and a half ago, but she didn't want you. Now she's knocked up and is facing being a single mom, and suddenly she wants you. Isn't it obvious that she's only changed her mind because she's pregnant?

 

She wants some chump to play daddy to her baby and support it financially, and you just happened to be available. You weren't good enough to father the baby, but you're good enough to pay for it.

 

Whatever you do, don't let her register you on the birth certificate as the father. She can than walk away and leave you, and you'll be stuck with a lifetime of child support for a kid that isn't yours.