No contact or Second Chance? not sure...

[A_Guy_1981]

Hey guys I'm new here so i hope i'm not posting in the wrong category...

 

Anyways, my ex broke it off about 3 weeks ago, we were together for just over 5 years. It was a "friendly" break up, she said she didn't feel it anymore for us, don't know if there was anyone else involved, as I asked her and she said no and that at the moment (the day she broke it off) she can't even think of being in another relationship.

 

Anyways, we decided that we should not have contact for at least a month maybe 2, and then we can "check up on each other", she by the way, asked that day if I could be friends with her and I told her that it just wasn't possible because i still loved her and it wouldn't be healthy for me to keep seeing her as a friend...

 

Anyways, a few days after the break up I went for a swim with one of her close friends, and we talked, I was really cool and I know i didn't sound desperate or anything, we talked about many things including the relationship, she told me things like "don't rule her out" and "we should the 3 of us meet up soon and hang out" (to which i also said is not possible at the moment), anyways, I also told her that i was seeing a psychiatrist because i lived in the wartime when i was young (i had decided to do that BEFORE my ex broke it off)...

 

Here's the thing, exactly a week after she broke it off (i was in full NC and going about my bussiness), my ex texts me to ask for a video, she also asked how i was doing, i answered to say i would send the video when i had the time and that i was doing good and hoped she was too. The next day i sent her the video, she answered to say thank you and went on to explain what she did on the weekend, I again wrote back with a very friendly non desperate and happy (not over the top) way that i was glad she had a good experience (she took a course she'd been wanting to take for a while)...

 

Now 3 weeks on, been working on my self, lots of facebook activity (again, i didn't change my status to single, nor did i upload pics of me with naked chicks), just changed my profile pic, she could see the pics i've been taking and the new friends i've been meeting (been going hiking, playing music on the river etc...)

 

Yesterday i realised she ditched facebook completly, she deleted her account, now of course all i'm writing here can be meaningless in the end, maybe she's got someone new and is very happy (i asked her friend if she -my ex- was ok because she had deleted her account, her friend says she doesn't know why but that she's doing goo), if so, then good for her, but her behavior does seem odd, completely ditch facebook, why did she contact me a week after the break up? I'm suddenly asking myself these questions...should i keep NC? what if she is hoping i contact her, even if it's to ask how she's doing. I have to tell you guys, we were 5.5 years together and lived 4 years under the same roof...we've done EVERYthing together, talked about EVERYTHInG together, we were soul mates, best friends and lovers....i'm almost 30 and she's almost 32 and wants to start a family...

 

Anyone got any insight on this?

 

Thanks guys...

 

A

[Frank13]

Anyone got any insight on this?

 

 

Yesh, she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. She wanted to "be friends", like all girls do, so it wouldn't feel like a suudden loss.

 

When you said "no", she contacted you after a week because she missed you a little. By responding, you let her know that you are there if she needs you, so she now knows she can move on to have her cake and eat it too.

 

So what if she hopes you to contact her. By you doing so it doesn't give her a chance to miss you. Contacting someone "just to see how they are doing" is one of the worse things you can do.

 

Don't know what is up with her Facebook but having another guy in th picture is certainly a possibility.

 

Stay NC to heal. That is the only way she will miss you, if she is going to come back.