Facebook's "Status from One Year Ago."

[lovesickmonkey]

I was enjoying Facebook after I blocked my ex. I really never saw her picture or read anything she wrote and it was good. But now they started this feature where they show you what you wrote a year ago or two years ago on this day and it's more than I can bear. Can you imagine seeing something to the effect of "Well, Brooke and I are Celebrating our Second Anniversary tonight. I love you, darling" repeated to you when you're trying to move on. I know I have the option of putting it away and going outside but I wish there was a way to turn off this feature.

[fiat500]

Facebook is spiteful when it comes to matters of the heart. When a couple breaks up on it, there's a heart icon next to your ex's newly single status as if it's a grand achievement for the whole world to see. Also if you're not quick enough to change your status before your ex does, it will have still have you as 'in a relationship' but with no one.

 

F##k you, Facebook. F##k you.

[sarajean1984]

I was thinking this very same thing yesterday I like the new feature...but it is incredibly painful...in way too many ways. I am a facebook junkie, I love everything about it. But my status from yesterday a year ago was "I am the luckiest woman on earth to have found the one that was made for me" It tore me to shreds...took me from a somewhat calm place emotionally to a nervous wreck. It made me almost want to go back that far on my profile, just to delete every single post like that...at the same time though. Relationships are never usually 100% bad, most contain an incredible amount of love. Lots of memories, and moments that can not be replaced. I am sorry that you have to deal with this same exact thing as I do I hope it clears up...also what I am trying to do...it hope that in a year when that status pops up where I was saying how lost and confused I am..that I can look back and say....I am so glad to be over that...it will be a reminder this time next year of what you got through!

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

For the life of me... I do not understand why people use Facebook.

 

Everyone I know that uses it (people from 20 - 60+) have had a lot of issues, drama, fighting, discussions, etc. due to it. Not to mention, several relationships and marriages that ended because of their partner not being able to handle the "temptations" that it provided.

 

I can somewhat understand women using it because they generally are more social and enjoy the drama more than men... but why a guy would use Facebook, is beyond me.

 

Also, if Facebook is so great and helps relationships... why is it that people seem to spend more time on their partners Facebook "checking up" on them than their own?

 

I don't get it but to each their own...

 

 

You are right, Homebrew.

 

When My ex and I were still in a relationship I caught myself only checking her profile in order to "check up" on her. I felt guilty for doing such a thing and in turn I stopped using facebook so much. After the relationship ended I was constantly on facebook checking up on her and hurting myself until she deleted me (which I found a way to check her profile anyway so I went through more pain).

 

Both of our profiles are private and we are not friends, I would like to happily announce that today I have gone through and blocked her. Not only on facebook but also Google+ where she added me (but I did not add her) and I deleted her from my contacts/chat on gmail. I entered a relapse this past week and everything seemed to hurt: memories, facebook presence, gmail chat statuses, and Google+ statuses.

 

The majority of my friends list on facebook is made up of family members and the rest is only friends that I trust completely. I no longer partake in any dramatic posts and rarely post about anything remotely personal. It's a shame, if people would grow up I think facebook would be a great tool... but if you give people power, they will seek to use it. Even the little bit of power that facebook provides.

[Sugarkane]

I'm a woman but I don't like facebook. This is exactly why!

[sabienne]

'I was just on fb thinking this!!! One of my status updates popped up about a football game from two years ago, which has nothing to do with my ex, but my first thought was "oh s***, something with him is going to crop up, I know it!"

 

Stupid facebook. Stupid!

 

Everyone I know that uses it (people from 20 - 60+) have had a lot of issues, drama, fighting, discussions, etc. due to it. Not to mention, several relationships and marriages that ended because of their partner not being able to handle the "temptations" that it provided.

 

Seriously?!? The company you keep must be extremely immature then!

Everyone that I know (people from 16 to 60+) uses facebook to keep in touch with friends and family, and to share photos.

A couple of high school kids breaking up because of facebook? I believe that.

But a marriage breaking down due to temptation from facebook probably wasn't all that strong to begin with. Just saying...

[visualbasicide]

Facebook made it way easier for my, now ex, spouse to sleep with "friends of friends". Do yourself a big favor and just delete it. It seriously isn't worth it.

 

Plus 99.9% of the people on there wouldn't piss in your face if it was on fire. Sure it's all good when we all have 1000 facebook "friends". Until you need help or support. Anything that causes someone else the least bit of discomfort, and you get overlooked like left-overs on pizza night.

 

Delete it and do something else with your time. Sucks at first, makes you feel way better and more self sufficient in the long run.

[antinko]

Lol, I fell for that one too. It's almost as if Facebook was designed to rub salt into the wound.

 

They are, however, statuses from another time and can be deleted - that's what I did. Just deleted them if they popped up.

[visualbasicide]

if they pop up hell, is this before or after I scoop out my good eye with a melon baller? If this is causing you any kind of emotional pain, get rid of it. I understand this philosophy is what sets so many of us down this path of destruction in the first place, but then again you aren't in a relationship with facebook, I hope.

[antinko]

The only way in my mind to use Facebook in a healthy manner is to consider ALL communication over it to be completely superficial.

 

I find it great for putting up pictures and arranging events with my friends, as they do when they organise things as well, but using it to live relationships through? No. Don't subscribe to that nonsense.

[The Aviator]

Yeah I clicked on an old status from 1 year ago 'on this day' and my ex had left a comment on it and even though she is not my friend on facebook anymore it still showed her picture. Sent a chill down me but because it was such a small thumbnail i couldn't make out what was in it thank god! Stupid feature! :mad:

 

I love facebook though and it's great for keeping up to date with my mates and organising events!

[antinko]

This FB shizz, has got to stop.

 

Had someone on the trail ask me for my FB, and I said..." I do not have a FB" he was like "what? why not?

 

I didn't answer.....and I rode off into the myst, never looked back.

 

Lol, I tell the kids at school I don't use it and the look they give me is of "Are you from this planet?"

[visualbasicide]

lol yeah, if you don't have Facebook, you are like the easter bunny or the tooth fairy, you just don't exist. Aside from all the relationship nightmares this thing has spawned, the company that owns it, it's so called privacy policy, and the questionable work ethics they adhere to are really something everyone should be informed of.

 

http://www.tgdaily.com/software-brief/52595-minister-says-facebook-is-evil-for-couples-that-is

 

http://www.forbes.com/sites/chunkamui/2011/08/08/facebooks-privacy-issues-are-even-deeper-than-we-knew/

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/23/facebooks-new-privacy-settings_n_934413.html#s337268&title=Tag_People_Youre

 

the list goes on and on.

[sun_moon]

Over a year ago my ex (when we were together) did something utterly stupid and posted a message about a conversation we had minutes before. Apparently it upset him that I said something about his riding bikes. I never once asked him to stop riding motorcycles just to be careful and safe. Stupid me, I said honey I would rather break up with you and know you're alive than know your recklessly doing stunts and such. He was telling me about a friend who was in the ER because of a motorcycle wreck. What did he do, he took it out of context and instead of seeing it as concern and love he saw it as a personal attack and posted it on FB. His last statement on his status update said why wait, just break up now!!!!

 

Ah my ex and his demented sense of humor! Should have seen it as a red flag.

 

What a jackass!!!! Shortly after that I received calls and texts from close friends and my SISTER asking me what the HELL is wrong with my bf????

This is one of a dozen reasons the relationship is over, his lack of respect for me, the relationship, and how he treated me.

 

The drama continued as more stupid little things popped up. He caused me much pain and his actions on FB continued to inflict pain and insecurity in me. So...for the sake of my sanity and trying to "work on my relationship" I deactivated my account.

 

Funny, it was difficult at first but I am so thankful I did it. When I saw the break up coming I stayed off FB and am so glad I did.

 

If I ever decide to go back, I plan on having my friend inspect it before I lay eyes on it, so she can remove him, all his friends, block him, and inspect any old pictures that I forgot to un tag or remove.

 

FB is a dangerous catalyst/medium to a fragile weak relationship.

 

I am blissfully ignorant and I am fine with it.

 

If someone wants to reach me, if they matter in my life, they already know how to reach me.

 

SIMPLY PUT.

[visualbasicide]

funny, in my own situation I used it as a battleground to expose my ex for what she was. Might not have helped my popularity but I have long since cared little for what most people think about me, Falsebook friends even less.

 

though in the long run, it eventually hurt me more than anything. Trying to comprehend why so many "friends" and even some family would still remain in contact with someone who treated me so poorly just destroyed a lot of relationships that I once valued. Then again I'd rather surround myself with 3 people I "know" I can trust than 100 people I "think" i can trust.

 

when I finally did deactivate it, and then stuck to not reactivating it, it has helped me focus on myself way more than I would be able to if I hadn't done so. The problem lots of us have is that even though they did this or that to us it doesn't make us love them any less, it just makes us question everything about them and ourselves. For me the temptation was too great of a distraction and I have had a ton of relief and progress since I have stopped using the site. maybe its just a personal preference.

[reimeivn]

ugh i hate that feature. it brought back things like how many times i wrote nice things about him and all he talked about was me talking about i am being sad and people assuming that its him that makes me sad.

 

he really did have communication problem. i dont know him.

 

but anyways, i hate it. i hate it when i go on it, expecting to see people caring about me, then it turns out that nobody does. its all belong to some stupid group i have to be in.

 

then this one guy i like, he ignores me on fb, so thats even worse.

[sleepykitten]

Last week I deactivated my profile, I had blocked my ex and his new g/f who had an open profile so I could see every daily status about how much she missed and adored her amzing new boyfriend plus all the "check ins" of where they had been! Then...and I read "13 weeks and craving skittles" with alot of ?? underneath from her friends, I assumed she was pregnant as they had been togethr 13 weeks and everyone around me seems to get knocked up at the drop of a hat, so i then spent the rest of the night in tears, smoking and feeling like utter crap, only to be told be my friend that its a facebook game one of those codes-probably how long have you been with your bf and what do you feel about him! Well....it gets worse, I text my ex saying can you call i have something to ask you" THANK GOD i found out it was only a stupid fb game before i made a total stalking prat of myself by asking "is your gf pregnant" and had to make up some excuse about needing an address for his brothers birthday card.....

And this was after deactivating my profile btw i made up a fake one just to look at her wall as someone else had text me asking about her and being pregnant. Lesson learnt...er yes!

But last week before this latest bout of mad behaviour and irrational thoughts, I deactivated it because i just spent way too much time and energy wondering what people thought of me and my ex now he has moved on so quickly, what were they thinking, how embarrasing it was for me that his wall was covered in her enderments and vice versa, also any posts by friends about their perfect relationships or posts by their partners saying anything remotly romantic or lovely had me feeling depressed because i didnt have that....on and on. And I thought "really" shouldnt I be focusing more on me and my life and not worrying about everyone elses and comparing myself to them. And if I ever get into another relationship Iwont be reactivating and announcing it because doing the whole "is single" change is heartbreaking-yep especially if you dont do it first, its like taking a bullet seeing that for the first time, then seeing anything else to do with the ex. Its like self harm constantly looking, you know its going to hurt like hell and send you into a spiral of despair.

[melenkurion]

My ex deleted himself from Facebook in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. I imagine that since then he has re-joined, but I've never seen any evidence. He's also cut contact with every single one of our mutual friends bar one couple. So fortunately, Facebook hasn't caused that much pain.

 

However, these "one year ago today" things have been annoying. A year ago today we were on holiday together with his parents, I was reminded today.

[lovesickmonkey]

Then...and I read "13 weeks and craving skittles" with alot of ?? underneath from her friends, I assumed she was pregnant

...

And if I ever get into another relationship Iwont be reactivating and announcing it because doing the whole "is single" change is heartbreaking-yep especially if you dont do it first, its like taking a bullet seeing that for the first time, then seeing anything else to do with the ex.

 

Yes! Everyone in my family thought my cousin was pregnant! She had to answer 100 emails saying no, it was just a game. I was lucky to have seen two posts like it at the same time and figured it was a game.

The relationship status thing is horrifying too. It's cute when you're together, but having to change it was bad. Now I just leave it blank. I noticed that when the relationship status was "single," they give you "singles" ads in the right column. Yuck.

[sun_moon]

Guess what I realized about 30 minutes ago? Thank god I'm off FB. Our exes are going through the same torment. Muwahahha, you dont think that does something to them? I do. Especially the kind that bounced into a new relationship or rebound because they are running like hell and avoiding their issues and the pain.

 

SLAP, thank you FB, even though I have a love hate relationship with you, I actually take pleasure in knowing they are getting reminders of what once was.

 

The runners and re-bounders cant run now, its in their news feed. HAHAHHAHA.

 

I know my ex is affected by this.

 

Who else can agree to this?

[lovesickmonkey]

I know my ex is affected by this.

 

Who else can agree to this?

 

My ex won't be affected. She never updated her status but she "lurked" instead. Every night she read everyone else's.

[visualbasicide]

Guess what I realized about 30 minutes ago? Thank god I'm off FB. Our exes are going through the same torment. Muwahahha, you dont think that does something to them? I do. Especially the kind that bounced into a new relationship or rebound because they are running like hell and avoiding their issues and the pain.

 

SLAP, thank you FB, even though I have a love hate relationship with you, I actually take pleasure in knowing they are getting reminders of what once was.

 

The runners and re-bounders cant run now, its in their news feed. HAHAHHAHA.

 

I know my ex is affected by this.

 

Who else can agree to this?

 

lol nice way to flip that around and make it work for ya. Mine probably wouldn't even flinch but its still funny.