the other man maybe

[carl]

my wife and I have had a great relationship since the begining but I am having doubts

now about her honesty. In the beging I came to california from ky and and we got married and everything was great we both worked but she made alot more money than me and we thought that one of us should stay home with the kids like we were

raised so i did it. we moved out to the sticks away from everone. my first doubt came 2 years ago when my wife totaly through a fit about me putting the key to our door

to far back on top of the cabinet beside the door where we usually keep it. this was xmas eve and we were on our way out with the kids to shanons house for a little party she was having after a while of her completely ranting about this I said

why dont i just stay here and she was quik to agree and i stayed home alone while

she when to the party. at the time i thought there must be some other reason for her to act like this because she seemed happy up till then like she did not want me there for some reason and our kids are 2 and 4 so they dont know. so now i skip ahead

a few years and i am still sitting home alone while my wife goes to an office party that

she forgot to tell me about till the last second then she calles me up late at night and ask me to come get her so I do. Her and shanon come home with me and shanon is all

over me in front of my wife this is a women who has been a freind of my wifes since childhood but i hardly know her. she shows all that night and my wife sitting there says pat her on the ass and make her get up. I was blown away by all this and the way my wife really didn't seem to care. so then a few months later my wife gets mad at me and I don't know why she won't say then a few days later she comes to me and

says she wants a devorce I taked to her and she said she wants to split because

I dont clean house very well basically so I talk to here about our kids and how this would mess them up and I would do what ever it took to keep it together and

i started to clean a hellva lot more. Then about 2 days later we were going on a motor home trip to the desert and i called here that friday and she said shanon told her that it was raining in the desert so i said ok lets not go then. so I called her later in the day to see if she wanted to go to dinner and she said her and shannon were

going to a bar for a few drinks I said ok but try not to stay out to late cause both kids are sick. that was at 5:00 I didn't bother calling her because I knew from her other outings she would not answer she called me at 11:30 could I come get her she was to drunk to drive so I have to get the kids outta bed and take them to get her and shannon and take shannon home first when I get to the bar she is standing outside smoking with a bunch of guys then she tells me she has to go in and hear one more song before she goes as she enters the bar she caresses the arm of one one the guys she was talking to. her and shannon get into the van and she starts to say to me that they "airated that night" shannon hears this and totaly freaks out and starts

saying SHUT UP SHUP UP Tracy. I have been in a few relationships where my girl freind was cheating and they never admit it. I don't know if my wife is cheating

but my heart tells me that I don't know the whole truth.

 

please advise me

Thanks

[Errol]

Whew! I can't tell you if she is cheating on you physically, but it sure sounds like shes cheating on you emotionally. I know you have kids, but the kids will be better off if the parents are happy and you sure aren't happy. Do you work outside the home? Can you support yourself & the kids if she leaves?

 

I would not tolerate that kind of behavior - tell her she needs to get her priorities straight and discuss them with you. If she can't show you some respect and is not concerned for your happiness then she doesn't need to be your wife. It will hurt you now, but you will get over it and be happier without being treated this way.

 

Try couples counseling and try to find out why she is treating you like this. Pin her down on that issue until you get an answer you can believe.

 

The whole divorce because of house cleaning is just a coverup for deeper issues.

[TMCM]

Here's a sobering fact, women file for divorce 70% of the time. While this may not turn out to be the case in your situation, I would advice you to consult with an attorney to find out what your legal rights are. If you are the primary caretaker, then most courts will let you stay in the house with the kids and have her pay you a monthly sum for spousal and child support. I've seen cases where the woman, under the advice of her attorney, starts doing caretaker duties in order to legally kick the H out of the house and are succesful. Once the H is out, her lover moves in with her and the kids. Avoid this scenario by starting to prepare yourself legally.

[JustBeinBlonde]

Definitely consult an attorney and consider hiring a Detective. Be prepared or be prepared to be screwed.

 

Good Luck -JBB