Ex Got married within a years time

[rtb_in_pa]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Hi. I found this forum searching for similar stories like this. I see this is all so common. I just don’t know what to make of this at all. This is driving me crazy. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I meet this girl 22 years ago. We were both in our 20's. We fell in love and we were going to get married. She changed her mind when we tried to set a date. She comes from a broken family and she said she was afraid we would get divorced. I agreed to wait because I loved her. Needless to say we never married. We had a son together and we lived with each other for 18 years. We had our problems like everyone else.[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]It started to get bad 4 years ago when she became a nurse. She changed. She would get angry at us for no reason. Then 2 years ago she left me a note on the kitchen table that read " Took your son and moved to Florida. Have a happy lonely life." I was a basket case.[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]My son called me about two weeks later saying he wanted to come home. I purchased him a ticket and he came home. I still loved this women very much. I wrote her a letter and we starting talking and I flew down to Florida to bring her back. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]That lasted until August of last year. I got home from work, she was waiting for me to tell me she was leaving again. This time for good. My son stayed with me. She has not talked to me since.[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I was so hurt and angry inside. But I still loved her. On Sept. 10 my son is looking for his dress shoes. I ask him why. He tells me he has a formal function to go to. I asked what kind of function. He said a wedding. I said who is getting married. I could tell by the look on his face he didn't want to tell me. He says my mother. I was so angry and hurt. I could feel my heart break into a million pieces. He then told me he wasn't going to tell me because he knew I would be hurt, but he didn't want me to read it in the newspaper and find out that way. I got a great kid![/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I went out that night and got drunk. I cried for two days straight. I hurt so bad inside. It seems like a dream. I can't beleive she married a guy after only a year apart. I asked her numerous times over the 22 years we were together to get married. Always the answer was I don't want to get divorced.[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The questions I got is why now and why this guy. I tried to talk to her but she will not speak to me. She told my son to tell me she moved on. How can people do such things especially knowing someone that long of time? The really crazy part is I still love her with my whole heart. I feel sorry for her.[/FONT][/sIZE]

[TheDovic]

Did you treat her badly? Honestly (nobody here knows you so you can say)

 

With regard to the wedding, she's rushed in with a rebound. Don't be surprised if this ends sooner rather than later!

[rtb_in_pa]

Did you treat her badly? Honestly (nobody here knows you so you can say)

 

Not at all. We only ever had about three or four arguements over the 22 years together. I never abused her. I never went out drinking. I never cheated on her or wanted to cheat on her. I was happy.

[wilsonx]

You are going to not like what I have to say but its going to be true. She stayed with you because she felt safe and comfortable with you. She did not want to get married because she wasn't "attracted" to you.

 

I have learned so much about my breakup through not only posts here but my real life friends that come from broken households. I have a lot of them. One of my friends yesterday, told me she stays with her current boyfriend because she has a kid with him, she knows hes a nice guy, but shes not attracted to him. This right here is actually extremely selfish and codependent behavior and it hurts people. She has already left him once and cheated on him with one of my friends and his best friend. Shes attracted to me and has even told me she has considered dating me but I am actually too smart to fall into this type of relationship again. I was one of those guys dating an extremely broken girl. When she broke up with me she told me I was a good boyfriend, I wasn't a great boyfriend. She was safe and comfortable with me. For the longest time and for sane people, this is a good thing. For people with rough backgrounds, they aren't use to safety and comfort.

 

It sucks and it hurts and I could not imagine 22 years of your life with her. Now you should be focusing on yourself and your kid. Its going to hurt for a long time but this is the real life explanation of what happened. My parents lived a life just like this. My dad pulled my mom from a broken upbringing. She ran away from home and my dad met her when she was 17. The only thing I regret now is my dad not standing up to my mom when she started her cheating crusade. It would have shown me the right thing to do and be strong and never sacrifice your own dignity and pride for someone you love who doesnt respect you as a person enough for their own selfish needs. But this experience and my parents experience taught me a lot of things, and its to always put myself first. Never sacrifice who I am even for those I love and have feelings for. You still have a long life a head of you and can find the same happiness and love that you deserve. Dont give up

Edited October 10, 2011 by wilsonx

[TheDovic]

I agree with my learned friend Wilsonx. I couldn't have said it any better than he did!!!

[mike588]

Ouch Wilson,, my ex. g/f told me the same EXACT thing: I was a good boyfriend and she felt safe and comfortable with me.

 

You know my story,,, guess I really was dating a damaged girl. Now her ex that she's with now can deal with her and her issues,, good luck to him/her, then again,, maybe he's damaged too?

 

How does that work, is that a relationship made in heaven ,,ha, two damaged people??