Help!

[UnhappyInLuv]

I know I know I'm scum. This is the story:

 

I met a group of friends abroad approx. 11 years ago. Fancied one of the blokes (who originally asked me to join the group) like mad but he was already seeing 1 of the girls in the group. He fancied me (apparently) but never made a move on me. When we got home we both wrote to each other explaining that we wanted something to happen but were gutted that it never did. He said that when I left to go home it felt like his world had fallen in.

 

Me and my husband are going through a dry patch in bed. We haven't had sex since our honeymoon in 2001. To be honest I used to have a high sex drive but I have been without it for so long now, I have given up trying! We are living with his mum and have been since we got married - not ideal situation! This situation causes us lots of arguements. Still a woman has needs and if I did wander can I be blamed?!

 

My self and my friend always plan to meet up when he is down my way and I always chicken out and make up an excuse - basically 'cos I am scared and embarassed. We have kept in touch ever since our holiday. Now we text lots and we flirt like mad. He says he is coming to visit in October as he is on a course and we text each other telling each other what we want to do with each other etc etc when we meet. If he doesn't reply to my texts straight away, I will keep texting until it p1sses him off! Bunny boiler or what!!!! I have told him roughly how I feel about him which pushed him away for a while.

 

He is in, from what I can make out, a loving relationship.

 

I can't help how I feel. He is kind, gorgeous, intellectual, talented, sporty, funny. Everytime I think about him or receive a text from him or see his picture (from the holiday) I get butterflies in my tummy and stirrings down below. Could this feeling be love?

 

Not sure if I love my husband anymore due to my feelings towards my friend. Help!

[Butterfly_Queen]

omg! You haven't had sex with your H since 2001? Have you all talked about what the problem may be? How about counseling? Have you tried that? I have heard of dry spells, but that just seems a little long to me. Sounds like it might be something a little deeper that just a dry spell.

[Pocky]

Trust me when I tell you to sort things out with your husband first before entering into another relationship. If that means ending the marriage then do so, but starting a relationship when you're still married is going to create a lot of confusion and emotional strain on you.

[UnhappyInLuv]

Yeah we've talked about our "dry spell" but he says its him not me. We hadn't been dating long and he wanted to invite others to join in and, being young and naive, I agreed. One day I woke up (before anything took place) and realised what a doormat I was being so told him "no". Since then sex became few and far between. He reckons 'cos we have both put no weight since we first met it has made him lose his sex drive. Sounds more like I have made him lose his sex drive don't you think?? I have suggested counselling but he dismisses that idea. He thinks I am just whinging but a woman has needs!!!!

 

Not that long ago I came across a stash of "mens mags and vids". He couldn't understand why I got upset and I made him throw them all away. He must have stirrings or relive himself but why not include me? He says he wants children but I can't for 2 reasons; 1) is he the man I want to have children with, 2) I am not while we are living with his mum.

 

I have had flings in the past. One just before we got married and the other couple in our early days.

 

Don't think I have a chance with my friend. He loves his girlfriend. The feeling is not mutual. What I feel for him feels like a brick in my stomach. I get an ache in the pit of my stomach 'cos I have these strong feelings for him. I am sooooo confused!