My living hell

[Numb]

Hello all,

Here's my deal, I've been dating this girl for 3 years and as of the new years we have broke up since she decided the night before she would rather go out with her freinds instead of me and god did that really hurt so I told her that was a chioce she would have to make and live with needless to say she did and did not come home till 8:00am the next day and she told me thats when she would be home since she would be drinking and sleeping at her freinds house. When she came home I told her to get out and not come back since her freinds are more important to her than me.

Now keep in mind I work with this girl at her Dad's shop and I have to see her everyday wasn't to bad at first, anyways she wanted to come back home and she was very sorry so I let her to which she moved out again on the next friday.

Anyways a ouple weeks go bye and I get a phone call at work from this guy asking for her and I decided to throw out a guess and ask him how long he has been dating her(don't know why I asked but just a gut feeling) to which he replys about 7 months and I just was crushed but didn't act it, I followed up with Did you know she's with someone? He replys no but knows who I am and she told him that we broke up 8 months ago casue I was havinjg sex with her roomate. Now I started to laugh and told him she doesn't have a roommate she lived with me and we just broke up 2 weeks ago and she was living there the last 3 years.

So I confronted her with this and she freaked out and lied of coarse but I told her I talked to her boyfreind and we had a nice talk, after that she told me everything and ran out to call him.

So now I get to live in this hell of knowing that everytime she went out with her freinds she was with him and having sex and also having sex with me...New years eve we had sex before she went out and she then had sex with him later that night. No all this is slowly killing me and making me not right I can't think of anything but all the times they have gotten together and want they did. They have been on 2 trips together out of state and she told me it was with her freinds but to find out it was just the 2 of them.

 

God I wish I could make this all go away, and be the person I was before all this. I cry dam near everyday and can't even get to grips with myself I don't think I will ever be normal again after what she did to me.

[upsetnhurt]

Numb,

 

No worries....you WILL get through this and be a better and smarter person for it. All of us on this forum have had troubled relationships and that is why we are here. Nothing can take away the pain you are going through and you should let it out in any form (crying) at any time you feel the need to. It is part of the healing process. Soon enough you will start realizing that she is the big loser here, that being that she lost having you as a boyfriend. Realize that you are the lucky one in that you know this side of her prior to making any big commitments to her, ie marriage, kids, etc. Good luck to you and keep strong.

[suegail]

I don't have to tell you that you're better off without this girl. You must know that. It's too bad that your work situation is what it is, because it would be better if you had no contact with her whatsoever. I think I would begin looking for another job though.

 

You know, it's easy for me to say, but don't waste time trying to figure this one out. It's pretty black and white; she betrayed you, hopefully like no one has ever or will ever again. Hold on to your pride - - be a stone wall where she is concerned. I'm certain you can find someone who will value your love and treat you as you deserve to be treated. I'd like to tell you I believe one day she'll regret her actions, however, someone who has done what you've described may not possess a sense of right and wrong.

 

The best advice I can give you is be as strong as you can and don't ever offer her a free moment to discuss anything from the past. It's over - - it's done.

[BrainRightHeartWrong]

So now I get to live in this hell of knowing that everytime she went out with her freinds she was with him and having sex and also having sex with me...New years eve we had sex before she went out and she then had sex with him later that night. No all this is slowly killing me and making me not right I can't think of anything but all the times they have gotten together and want they did. They have been on 2 trips together out of state and she told me it was with her freinds but to find out it was just the 2 of them.

 

jesus man she has put you through the mincer!

 

you seem like a good guy and deserve better than this girl, i bet you would not have done that to her!

 

how on earth can someone sleep with two different people on one night ( one of them their boyfriend ) is beyond me

 

you gotta tell yourself 1000 times a day that she wasn't any good for me in the long run, repeat this over and over, have your friends tell you it too and some day it will really sink in and you'll be freed from this hell

 

build a wall of stone between you and her and don't let her chip at it because she will try to

 

good luck!

[Numb]

Thanks for the replys everyone.

The heartbreak I'm feeling is overwhelming to say the least and the sad part is I always trusted her and thought she was the best girlfreind any guy could ask for and even told her that, just to find this all out. It just rips me apart knowing what kinda person she really is and wondering if I will EVER have trust in another woman again or even if I can love another woman again, ya know what I mean?

 

I have been in many relationships in my life and have broke up with them also but NONE of them even came close to the pain I feel from this one, I always thought she is the one for me my true love and my only love, dam was I way wrong.

 

And your right THANK GOD we did not have any kids and I really hope her boyfreind doesn't have any weird STD's or someone will get the beating of there life.

[johnnyapples]

Oh my ....

 

Numb -- I feel your pain a 1000%. That is the worse feeling to have and she really did do a number on you. Let yourself hate her. She deserves that! You seem to be a strong and decent guy and I think you are doing the right thing by letting it out in this forum.

 

Keep positive. Not all girls are like this and this was a very bad case.I am sure you will meeting many more girls. If I was in your position, I may not be able to fully trust another woman for a very, very long time. But any good woman that is willing to have an open communication and understand your story, she will make it a point to maintain your trust.

 

I have one suggestion, listen to this song by the Smashing Pumpkins again, called "Today". I don't know if you like them or not... but listen to the lyrics. In an interview, Billy Corgan was asked about the lyrics to the song and asked why he he wrote "the greatest day". He told the interviewer that he had a abusive childhood and he went through a period of time where he wanted to commit suicide. His parents divorced and neither wanted him and I believe he moved in with a neighbor (I don't remember the exact story -- but something to that effect). It was very tragic. Those repressed feelings came out when he wrote that song many years later -- and he said that he believed that day he wanted to kill himself was the greatest day that he's even known. Because he finally realized that that day was the darkest day of his life; and every day thereafter can only be better.

 

My friend -- it can only get better ...

[Numb]

I listened to that song Johnnyapples, I have heard it many times and its a great one and thanks for listening/advice.

 

I so badly wanna talk to this guy again and tell him the truth about her and the lies she tells him but I'm sure she will just tell him more and why would he believe me.....just hope he doesn't get screwed up by her too. Though I would love to kick his ass if I see him but since he really doesn't know the truth then its kinda stupid for me to do that. For some reason I just have this need to screw up her relationship with him since she screwed me up to be with this guy.....just seems like I owe that to her.

[sundrop]

Numb,

Sounds like you told this guy what he needed to know in the first phone call, and its his own fault if he keeps her around. I went through the same thing with my ex-husband a few years ago except the rolls were reversed.

He was a bullrider and he would go to bullridings on the weekends away from home with his girlfriend, while I was at home working and trying to pay the bills.

TRUST ME, it gets better, TRUST ME, sucks like Hell at first, but gets better over time.

Please don't put yourself through hell, thinking of what they were doing together, it only makes you feel worse.

You sound like a caring guy from your post, and keep telling yourself that. And keep telling yourself her loss, and she doesn't deserve you, and they will be someone out there who will e a much better girlfriend to you than what you thought she was.

[johnnyapples]

Numb,

 

I agree with sundrop... you know you are much better off without her. And keep on telling yourself that you deserve 10 times better than how she treated you. If you want (this is, of course, your call), you can do the Stuart Smally thing (the SNL skit) and look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, "I'm smart enough ... I'm .... and gosh darnit, people like me". LOL In all seriousness, its time to have some personal space, gather your strength and confidence and get yourself ready for a much better relationship.

 

[Weird]

Wow, what a damn cunt.

 

Sorry to hear about this and hope you will feel better soon. It is a god thing all this came out now rather than you staying with her and finding out about this down the line.

 

People can sure do some seriously messed up and coldhearted things...

[BrainRightHeartWrong]

Wow, what a damn cunt

 

could you be any more subtle Weird?

 

 

although i have to agree with you on this one

 

[roxy_1980]

I agree with what everyone is saying. They've pretty much got it nailed, so I won't beat you over the head with it. It gets better. Period.

 

But you really should go to the free clinic and get yourself tested for STDs if you're worried about that. If she can cheat with him for so long without you knowing it, she could easily have gotten something for someone and given to you. Protect yourself. Most STDs are treatable if caught early. Serious consequences (infertility, etc.) can happen if you ignore it. Its better to know.

[Numb]

I know time will heal all, but as of right NOW its freaking kicking my butt. I just get so dam mad that someone could do this to someone they love, thats the part that just kills me inside.

[Numb]

Dam, I almost forgot when I get to go back to work Monday with her its also her birthday dam its just getting worse.

 

I need some advice should I say happy birthday or just act like its just another day.....keep in mind I DO NOT want her back but would like to make her not so happy if you get my drift.

 

 

 

 

Originally posted by Weird It is a god thing all this came out now rather than you staying with her and finding out about this down the line.

Sounds kinda silly but 3 years is down the line, any longer than that I wouldn't think it would matter anymore.

[johnnyapples]

DON'T DO ANYTHING. Act like yourself. Continue doing what you are doing. If that wretched b* even has the balls to say something like, "Did you know its my birthday", you can just be cool and collected and respond, "Good." Fake a smile and walk away. Don't show weakness. The fact that you don't show anger or any real emotion in front of her will drive her nuts.

 

Make some plans now for Monday after work -- something that you will have to leave on time to get to ... and for the rest of the week. Just set up stuff to do with friends, etc. Just go do your thing and don't give her any clue that you are even thinking about it. Be like ICE MAN. Best scenario: ask some hottie friend of yours (that she doens't know) to come into work just as you are getting off your shift and have her "pick you up" to go somewhere.

 

Just some ideas.

[Numb]

Thanks thats what I was thinking also.

 

There's more to this story that I have not posted and it started last friday, so I firgure I will post everything that has happened to me with this crap maybe it will help to let it all out.

 

Here we go...After I planted that nice seed in new b/f's head he has been very cautious and paraniod about what she says to him. Now keep in mind that she told him that we where broke up for 7-8 months and she never lived with me during this time, but I told him different which is the truth but he still beleived her (dumb asshat). Anyways thursday of last week we where getting along OK but I was being nice becuase of work and hiding the fact I truly HATE her, so she tells me that new b/f wants a lease agreement to see if she's lieing about it or not which would be the lease agreement from her so called apartment that she does not have.

So she has the balls to come to my house friday night around 10:00pm to which I had a girl over and a neighbor across the street, she knocks on the door and I'm like WTF is she doing here. I walk outside and she says "I need a big favor" which is she needs a copy of our lease agreement, and of coarse I start laughing my ass off at her telling her you screw me over for 8 months and lie to me and your so called b/f and you want me to help you cover your lies? Needless to say I flipped her the bird and slammed the door in her face.

 

About 2 hours later I start getting phone calls from her about 10 calls to which I answer the last one and she says shes sorry, and I told her whatever you need to fix your own problems and if you really like this guy you need to come clean with him or it will fall apart and she agreed and was going to tell him the truth about it Saturday night. Well that didn't happen, she calls me again saturday afternoon and asked for the password to get into the shop (she knows it she's been there longer than me) so I gave it to her and she tells me that she needs to get some banking done online and get her oil changed and I'm like whatever and hung up.

 

She calls about 5-6 more times the same day about udder bull**** stuff but being very very sweet so I'm not sure what shes doing at this point. Anyways I never answered till the last one again and she tells me her grandma had a stroke to which freaked me out cause I really like her grandma so I asked her if she needed me to take her to hospital and she says "no its ok I just didn't know who else to talk to" WTF, so I start getting ready to out with some freinds and before I left I called her to see how her G/M was doing but she didn't answer so I left.

I get home around 2:00am and see she called 3 times so I'm thinking something is up so I call her back and no answer......she's at her b/fs house,lmfao. She went to work and made a fake lease agreement to lie to this asshat some more which just pissed me off but what can you do??? I went to work and got on her comp and sure **** in history there was like 6 lease agreements she downloaded. Now I'm thinking this lieing bitch why are you lieing to me again its not my boyfreind.

 

She calls me again on Sunday and says that we need to talk and I was like about what?? She says stuff about work and a few other things so I said whatever call when your getting close and I'll let you in <BIG mistake> We have this talk about work and how where having problems with each other and says we need to try harder to get along there and I agreed but she's the imature one with the crappy comments about her new b/f all the time<didn't say it out load> So I nicely said so hows everything with your boyfreind and is everything cool and she says ya everything is great....so I'm like I guess he didn't wanna see the lease agreement after all right? She tells me no he didn't wanna see it he didn't care...at this point I'm like dumb bitch do I look stupid, I asked her if she went to work and made her own lease for him to see she replys NO I DIDN'T and I said since her phone was right next to me, I was like so if I call asshat he will say you never gave him one? She says go right ahead and call him I don't care ( now I wasn't really gonna call him just wanted to see what she would do) so I pick up the phone and she flips the hell out grabbing the phone from me and I told her to calm down so she kicks me right in the junk and starts slapping the crap out of me, now in the 34 years I have been alive I have NEVER hit a women. So she gets in my face and trips over my leg and falls backwords taking me with her but I catch myself so I don't crush her, at this point I stayed on top of her and told her to calm the **** down your acting like a psycho. She says ok I'm really sorry just let me up and I'm like ok I will, so I let her up and she's standing to the left of me at this point she with a closed fist punches me right in the ear, now I was doing OK with this abuse for awhile but once she closed fisted me I turned around and knocked right the **** out, don't know what I was thinking but it just enraged me I have never been so made at someone. I ran over to where she landing and picked her up and took her into the kitchen now she is awake but has a very very bloody nose at this point I started to cry like crazy and couldn't believe I did what I did to her. Anyways I get her cleaned up and talked to her for awhile and yes I'm still crying so she tells me it wasn't your fualt I should have never hit you first and I deserved it, but I still can't handle what I did and really can't remember doing it just spots of it.

 

Anyways to make a very very long story short, her Dad calls in a freaking rage not that I blame him but 2 hours later calls and wants my side of the story which I told him....he tells me just like this "Ifs she's big enough to hit a guy she better be big enough to get hit back" and he says I have known you for along time and I know you would not do this to a girl unless she reallt was pushing some buttons, so its OK and just take a week off and calm down but I'll still pay you.

 

Now today I find out that she told her boyfreind that "I called her and said that the alarm at the shop was going off and she needed to go turn it off and when she got there I was waiting inside with the lights out and beat the **** out of her." I was like OMG this woman is nuts I can't believe she told him that, anyways I called her dad and told him this and was just pissed off so he called the new boyfreind and told him that she's a lieing piece of **** and none of that is true and walks into the office and asked her if she said that and she says "NO" her dad just stared at her and said I just talked to your b/f and he said you told him that....he then told her if didn't stop lieing he was going to personally beat her ass out the door and she would not have a job.

 

Do you believe this chick??? Sorry for the book but I just had to get it out. Needless to say I faxed him the real lease agreement with our names on it and the date we moved in and that was yesterday,lol. The dumb asshat will probably still keep her around.

 

I woke up a couple hours ago really bummed out so I thought I would dump it all out here, and heres the kicker I freaking broke the tip or first knuckle on my pinky finger from hitting her, know that should make you guys and girls think I'm a real piss of crap. I still have some major problems with myself for doing that and I hate myself for doing it. Just another reason why I'm hating the person that I am right now and I have a real hard time just looking at myself in the mirror and I have no idea how I'm going to feel when I see her monday and to think I hit a girl that I love so much just makes me a horrible person. Still don't know how I'm going to get though this and I just think who else did she say that horrible story to and what the people that we know together are going to think of me, this whole deal is just making think really bad thoughts just seems like I can't go back to who I once was before all this and it just kills me inside.........

[sundrop]

I hate to hear all that, sounds like she wants her cake and eat it all too......

I would have to say just ignore her, all she is trying to do is get your attention.

When she ask a question at work, answer it but don't give her anymore than an answer.

When she calls at home, no matter how hard it is, don't answer the phone, cause trust me this is coming from a girl, if I am calling a guy 10 ties in a row, I am looking to fight and it will be a loosing battle for the both. When she comes to the door don't answer it and make sure hey are locked.

Don't' let her get under your skin and put yourself in danger, take care of yourself first. This is hard enough all you need now is to let her push your buttons and you do something stupid and go to jail.

Ignore her, that will get under her skin more than anything.

 

 

Now if I could get my own life on track, we wil be doing good.

Good luck. Wish you the best.

[johnnyapples]

I hate to hear that too --- since you are getting a paid week off ... take a vacation somewhere. Fly somewhere, out of town and just clear your head. Mexico or something or New Orleans or whereever its warm, lots of girls and cheap drinks.

 

But on a slightly more serious note -- definitely take care of yourself first and move on. You need to, otherwise it will be a self-destruction path that will only destroy you. Best of luck, my friend.

[daphne]

dude,

you totally need to stay away from her. she's volatile and when you're with her so are you. what happens if next time she lies to the police and says you started it and presses charges? seriously. you're bigger than she is so the law's going to side with her.

 

STAY AWAY FROM HER. she sounds like a walking nightmare. don't fax the new guy anything else, leave him alone. i know you feel altruistic about it but think of it this way. if you break the 2 of them up, guess who she's going to come running back to. you up for more torture? do you really hate yourself that much?

[imokurnot]

Only thing I can say is hang in there. Mine is going on 3 months now and I was cheated on and left for a guy as well. It was a 7 yr relationship so you'll make it if I have thus far. Stay away from her as much as possible. Her dad sounds like a good guy and most likely a good boss. He deserves a huge thank you if you ask me. I know he only did what was right but you don't find that very often in parents. I wish my ex's mom would be like that I would spill everything I have and want/need to get out. The sending the real lease is in line with some things I want to do but keep letting people talk me out of.

 

Oh yeah, and only punch with the first two knuckles from your thumb. LOL They line up with your wrist and have support. Otherwise you will end up with separated fingers and broken knuckles. (I'm sure you know this I just can't stop laughing about your pinky) LOL I guess correct form isn't necessary when punching chicks. I happen to be 33-0 versus bitches. J/K never hit a woman in my life. Just a joke but I had to tell it to a girl once in a bar. She was hammered, just wasted and was stumbling over me and wanted to fight me, the chair, and anything else in the general vicinity. I guess she thought someone tripped her or something. She's weaving back and forth and has her hands up trying to look at me to see if I am a threat or whatever so I just told her, "You really don't want any part of this..., I'm 33-0 against bitches." LOL You had to be there it was hilarious take my word for it. Sorry I digressed there at the end.........

[Numb]

Well her new b/f dumped her ass,hehe. I had to go to work today to get my paycheck and she was there and I just acted like she wasn't even there, Her dad was really cool to me and joking around which probably pissed her off even more. She wasn't very happy thats for sure but what do you exspect you dumb whore, I mean dam you cheat with your boyfreind of 3 years and lie to the new guy and exspect everything to be great. So I pick up my check and leave and I forgot to get a paycheck stub with it so I went back in there and asked her Dad for one and she replys very snotty "I'll make you one" and her dad looks at her and says "YES YOU WILL",lol. Anyways I am feeling alittle better now since of coarse she has to deal with having nothing now and living with her mom she hates so bad and she gets to look back at what she HAD, a good guy that loved her and anything she wanted. Now she has nothing for all this crap that she created except that NOBODY believes a thing that comes out of her mouth anymore and that is going to drive her nuts....I hope. Hopefully the new ex b/f stays the hell away from her and has nothing to do with her.

 

There is no way in hell that I will take this turd back, so her being single and trying to get me back is NOT even gonna happen.

 

 

I know about using the 2 first knuckles when hitting something but at the moment I really didn't wanna hit her that hard, but I'm 6'3" and have some long arms and she was alittle closer than I thought so the impact was a tad bit harder than I really wanted.

 

I wasn't trying to knock her out, just trying to get her to stop the crap quickly and it did thats for sure. All I know is I will NEVER hit another girl in my life and I can promise that, I will just walk away.

[Numb]

What are your honest thoughts about her trying to get back together with me after all this??

 

I truely doubt she even trys too. I'm just wondering but I will not take her back, just thinking about how strong I am going to have to be to keep her away from me.....hell I don't even wanna be freinds with this girl at all.

[johnnyapples]

Don't even think about it ... she's Dead to you. You should basically not even acknowledge her existence. The most you think about it, the more it will infuriate you. You might consider changing jobs and stuff -- just to get away from it all...

 

If she even approaches you about anything remotely close to trying to mend things between the two of you -- cut her off short and go do something else. Dont' even let her finish her sentence. Its not even worth your time or effort to even listen to her reasoning.

[Numb]

Dam read this thread I swear to god this is the guy that is/was seeing my girlfeind at the time, well except the fact that half the stuff she says is lies of coarse. The ages are alittle differnent though, but hell that could be her lieing too.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=400496#post400496

[Numb]

Well I said screw it and told her dad I was not working there anymore, he was not very happy and either was she but its probably best thing I could do to help myself.

 

 

Everyone needs some of these.

 

f***ital