The Verdict is In.....................

[Marie1973]

Well guys,

 

My MM finally called me. When i first answered I could tell something was wrong. He was home, I asked him why he didn't have his cell on for the 3 hour ride." He said "cause had a weekend from hell with his daughter. I didn't want to talk to anyone."

 

He then said, "I'm stilll here, & its July 31st & I'm not out, I'll pack your stuff up at the apartment, if things change, i'll let you know." "We made a deal & I couldn't hold up my end. I'm not going to lead you on, go do what you have to do, a deal is a deal"

 

He said he did it but didn't do it. I was so confused & i asked him what happened & he said that he doesn't want to rehash it. He said he told his oldest daughter Saturday night before he told his wife & she got very upset.

 

I asked what did u say & then in a louder tone, he said " I DON'T WANT TO RESHASH IT"..................... ON THAT NOTE, I HUNG UP ON HIM!!

 

SO GUYS, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT THESE PASSED COUPLE WEEKS. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!! I FELL OFF MY HORSE & HAVE TO GET RIGHT BACK ON.

 

Not for nothing, but I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE. He said that he'll let me know if things change, however, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM ANYMORE!!!

 

I am not letting him hurt me like this anymore. He said he would never hurt me & he broke my heart, worse than anyone has ever done. This chapter of my life is CLOSED!!! THIS WAS MY FIRST MARRIED MAN & MY LAST!!!

 

I'M DONE!! I GUESS MY FAMILY & FRIENDS WERE ALL RIGHT WHEN THEY SAID MARRIED MEN DON'T LEAVE. MOM WAS RIGHT ONCE AGAIN!!

 

Thanks again guys from all your support.

For those who are thinking about getting into a relationship with a married man, DON'T DO IT!!!

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by Marie1973

MARRIED MEN DON'T LEAVE.

 

Sorry Marie.. I was hoping that he wasn't going to hurt you any further.

[lynnspies1]

Marie, I am so sorry that he did not rise to the occasion.

 

Take care yourself, let us know if you need anything.

 

Lynn

[Marie1973]

Thanks guys

 

I really thought that my relationship with my MM was different from all the rest, but i guess i was wrong. I honestly believed that he was going to leave up to the minute i heard the words come out of his mouth.

 

I wish things turned out differently cause I loved that man with all my heart & soul. He said he would never hurt me, but he lied & he did.

I honestly dont believe him when he said he told his daughter first either.

He wouldn't have that hanging over his head the rest of his life. I just think that he couldnt do it & used that as an excuse. Cause why wouldn't he tell me what happened. But whatever, the main thing that matters to me is that he didnt leave.

 

So what happened over the weekend, isn't really important!!

Anyone know of any tall, cute, single guys?? ahhaah :-)

 

I'll be ok.

thanks guys

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by Marie1973

loved

 

Past tense.. That's great.. Your already on your way to healing..

 

My best goes out to you ..

[jadeblossom]

Glad to hear that you've picked yourself up and are starting afresh. *hugs* wishing you nothing but happy days up ahead to make up for all the tears and heartache you've been thru!

[sunflower1008]

Marie,

 

I'm so sorry you had to go through this and deal with all the pain. Now you really know what kind of person he is and you can get on with your own life. Time does help Marie, believe me.

I wish you so many good thoughts and hugs and if you need to vent, we're here.

[whichwayisup]

Well, I think you're right. I don't think he told his wife, nor his daughter. He chickened out and made up that story, got all pissy and defensive so he didn't have to tell you the truth.

 

It's done, he's out of your life. When he calls, and I'm sure he will at some point, do not pick up the phone, return his calls. Block his email address and if you have him on IM, put him on ignore.

 

When back at work, be only professional, not personal. Only speak to him on work related issues, and if he tries to talk to you, just walk away. You owe this man NOTHING.

 

What got me was when he said "if things change, i'll let you know." Like you're gonna sit and wait for him. Bet you that is what he thinks. Ha, doesn't he have another thing going.

 

Take good care of yourself, post as much as you need to and even though you feel okay right now - Atleast you know for sure and can deal with it - but I'm sure all of it will hit you and you'll go through the grieving stages of this breakup.

 

Hon, it's the best thing for you. As much as it probably hurts it's the right thing that could have happened.

 

Chin up and know there is an awesome single man waiting in the wings for you when you're ready!

[DepressedWaiting]

Sorry to hear the outcome. I was really hoping to hear some good news in regards to how these situations turn out... I thought yours might be different. Go fiqure, it wasn't!

 

I also think he is lying about telling his daughter. I think it's really strange that he would tell his daughter something like this BEFORE telling the wife. I'm sure the daughter will now say something to her mother if it's true. But if he did tell his daughter what did he expect? He HAD to know she would be upset! So for him to use that as an excuse is plain CRAZY!

 

Does his wife know about the affair? I know I'm going to get some bashing from others here for saying this... but if I was in your situation whereas my MM told me a deadline and kept delaying it and failed to deliver I would no doubt end up telling his wife. I wouldn't be able to move on with my life otherwise. I wouldn't be able to let the MM get away with it.

 

My MM hasn't passed his deadline yet and insists he will divorce. I can't even sleep at night anymore thinking about the situation I can't stop crying for hours straight. I am in so much pain it's unbelievable. I am so despressed I've lost the ability to function in every day life but at the same time I'm trapped and cannot seem to end it. It's horible beyond words.

 

If my MM delays the deadline even ONCE I will end up exposing everything to his wife immediately who has already threatened him with divorce a couple times these past months. He has no prenup and is DEATHLY afraid of losing everything finanically... just like your MM... Marie1973

 

I guess your MM could not afford to divorce but he could afford to lose you. How nice!

 

SICK!!!

 

Oh, I forgot to add... this jerk told you that if things change he'll let you know? He STILL thinks he can have you and that you'll be sitting there waiting pretty after he has now screwed you over and strung you along like there's no tomorrow! Unbelieveable.

[StillHurtin]

I am so very sorry. I hope that you can start your life over and find a SG who will love you and treat you w/ the respect you deserve. It's going to be a rough few months but the pain will lessen as days past.

 

I don't know what it's like to be the OW to a MM but to a man in a CR (for several years) and it was a hard thing to go through.

 

I wish you the best.

[DepressedWaiting]

Marie1973,

 

Just whatever you do... do NOT go into contact with him again. He has already pulled this stunt and strung you along delaying deadlines way too many times. So you already know it does NOT work staying in his life. Try leaving his life for good because it's OBVIOUS... I mean very obvious by his comment about "letting you know when things change" that he isn't taking you seriously enough.

 

I can guarantee the only time he will get a divorce is if he wins the lotto. He's just like my MM... he doesn't want to lose a f***** dime. His money is too important to him.

 

Do you HAVE to see him at work?That's a tough one in that case.

[SoftDrink]

seriously, marie, i think this was the best news you could have gotten.

 

this man is not worth your time, and now you finally know that for sure.

 

who knows what he would have done down the road, had he decided to leave his wife? you might have just been the next woman he lied to, to be with someone else and give them false hopes that he would leave you.

 

the best thing to do is not give him the satisfaction of him seeing you hurt. act like it's nothing, even if it's killing you. let it kill you in private, if necessary.

 

and do not, do not, DO NOT give him another chance if he comes to you tomorrow and says "okay, i think i may have worked it out, i need some more time though." DO NOT!!!

 

you seem to be faring well. it's a blow like no other, i'm sure, but you seem to have your head on straight and your wits about you.

 

here's to your newfound chance at happiness.

[izzybelle]

marie,

 

<hugs>

 

good luck with your new life, it will be better than the old one!!!! time does heal .....

 

izzy

[LucreziaBorgia]

Now might be a good time to put that large nest egg you have to use: by quitting your job (since MM is one of your bosses - and working there with him will undoubtedly be awful), and either looking for a new job or just taking some uninterrupted and unbiased time to yourself to get your head and heart back together. Change your phone numbers, move if you have to - pretty much anything to block all access that xMM has to you.

[Naive]

I hope that you can be strong. If he comes looking for you again you already know that he is not going to leave so just give him a nice kick in the a**!!!! At least now you know what he's all about. I know it's not easy but time heals all, believe me, I know!

[floatinglotus]

Oh Marie, I'm so sorry to hear this. I felt like I was reading part of what I have just been through. Please know that their is light at the end of the tunnel. You will heal. I promise.

[newbby]

marie,

can you keep the flat for yourself?

start again, if he sees you, you are a strong independent woman who made the best from this situation.

marie, you KNOW he will come back, dont you? he definetly will be back, he thinks you are waiting, he is going to give you time to really miss him and forget your anger and then he is going to come back.

i too think you should leave your job, find a tall, good looking single guy, just to date at least. i dont usually think rebound relationships are a good idea, but i think anything at all to be prepared for when he comes back.

be one step ahead of him, you KNOW his game, you know he is going to come back, BE PREPARED.

[joodee]

Yes, Marie, he will try to come back, to see if you will be there for him. I know this from experience. Don't let him. I struggle with that one all the time, it's hard, but have resolve, don't let him.

 

I am glad to hear that you are done with him, do watch out for when it really hits home, that grieving process can sneak up from out of nowhere, just be ready to call in sick and stay home and take care of yourself and comfort yourself if you need to.

 

You will fee so proud of yourself if you stay strong. I will send many positive thoughts your way.

 

Hugs to you, stay strong, you are worthy of true love and have so much to give!

[Marie1973]

Hey guys -

 

Well i'm up & off to work today. :-)

 

I keep repeating in my head what my MM said to me last night - how HEARTLESS & SO COLD he was, it was crazy. He will pack my stuff up in the apartment? I don't want the stuff, he could throw it out, i don't want to lay an eye on the apartment or the stuff ever again.

 

He also said, which i forgot to tell you all "Go on Loveshack.org & do what u have to do". He knows about this sight & is probably reading everything that we write. How heartless & what a bast*ard he was last night. The more I think about it the more it gets me mad. I will have NO contact with him ever again. I will delete every e-mail or voice mail from him & will not answer any of his calls. I am sooooooooooo done! I don't want him back even if he came crying of his hands & needs. Once I'm done, I"M DONE!!

 

Yes, DepressedWAiting, I work with him, he is my boss's boss, & works upstairs on a different floor. I might pass him in the hallway, but that's really about it. I used to see him everyday when we used to purposely meet for a cigarette, but he knows better not to come anywhere near me now. He travels also, so I don't see him much at work anyway.

 

Yes I know that this is the best thing that could have happened to me. I know that for a fact. The bad times weighed out the good times for while now! & you know its over when that starts to happen.

 

Yeah & for him to say "he'll let me know if things change" HELLO

I don't want you anymore. I am actually doing fine. I take a lot but once i'm done, i'm done. I think i got fed up with all this BS around the 8th time he didn't leave, this was the 12th. So I doubt that heart ache will set in suddenly. I've been fed up for months now.

When I'm fed up, that heart ache doesn't come into play, I'm more mad then hurt!

 

& for him to use the excuse that his daughter get very upset? I wasn't born yesterday, there is no way he told his daughter, u r right Depressedwaiting. The daugther of course would tell the wife. He's so full of sh*t its not funny. I hope he actually doesn't think i believe that. hahah

 

No, Depressed, his wife does not know about the affair. I'm sure she will in time cause everything comes out in the end. And of course we knew that if he did tell his daughter, which he didn't, of course she would be upset, thats a given.

 

Well I am finally glad that this mess I got myselft into is finally over!!

Feels like a ton taken off my back. No more sneaking around, no more waiting, no more lies!! So I'm happy about that.

 

Time to find me a tall good looking man that won't lie & use me like my MM did for 2 1/2 years. OK guys i'm off to work now!!

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by Marie1973

"Go on Loveshack.org & do what u have to do". He knows about this sight & is probably reading everything that we write.

 

Marie

 

Since this is true.. He also knows that he had you on a string like a puppet. All he had to do was read your posts and he knew he still had you.

 

All these weeks he has been reading your feelings and he continued to hurt you is even worse than it was before..

 

I hear real resolve in your voice and I think you will be just fine.. You got a great head on your shoulders.

[whichwayisup]

Sorry he found you on LS and has been reading, but at the same time I'm sure he knows what a s*** he is. I hope he continues to read today and the upcoming days. It's a shame his wife and family doesn't really know who the heck he truely is. If he can live with himself and look in the mirror everyday, then all the power to him.

 

Well I am finally glad that this mess I got myselft into is finally over!!

Feels like a ton taken off my back. No more sneaking around, no more waiting, no more lies!! So I'm happy about that.

 

Relationships shouldn't be about sneaking around and filled with so much pain and lies.

 

Good to hear you've got a positive attitude about this Marie. You're gonna be okay, take it one day at a time.

[billybadass36]

So, at the end of the day all we have is a guy who pretty much used you as a slam-piece for 2.5 years. Everything he ever told you was a lie. Guys like this suck and make me ashamed of my gender. I wouldn't continue to work for him. I would change my numbers, change all my contact information. Do not even give this guy the chance to catch you when you're in an emotional valley where he can try to slither back into your pants. That's what he's going to do. He's going to try to wait it out and then when you're vulnerable sometime in the future, since he knows all the angles that work with you, he'll without a doubt come slinking back when he's good and horny enough. Don't give him that opportunity. This really is a life-changing event, and I really think you'd do well to uproot yourself from this whole situation by changing your numbers, job, email, etc. Since money seems to be important to him, if you choose to remain at his company, you need to make it clear to him in no uncertain terms (preferably in writing) that if he calls you or talks to you or in any way tries to engage in non-work-related "stuff" with you, that you will consider that to be unwelcome sexual harassment. If you effectively put him on notice that way, I think it may have some effect. What's not said, but what is clear by telling him that is, "If you try to slither back into my life, I will not take you back. In fact, I very well may sue you for sexual harassment. I will serve you with the Summons at home, in front of your wife. I will also serve the company, your boss, and it will ruin you. I can always get another job, but you'll be ruined, so stay the F*** away from me."

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Great post BBA !!

 

 

I really liked this part

 

if you choose to remain at his company, you need to make it clear to him in no uncertain terms (preferably in writing) that if he calls you or talks to you or in any way tries to engage in non-work-related "stuff" with you, that you will consider that to be unwelcome sexual harassment.

[DepressedWaiting]

Marie, do you know what esle is funny? My MM used to tell me the exact same things saying "I'm jumping to conclusions" or that I'm "being negative" whenever I get upset. They are ALL the same.

 

Honestly if I were you I would without a doubt tell his wife everything. I would not let him get away with this. I would even show his wife how he went out of his way to buy an apartment with you e.t.c. If I were his wife I would prefer finding out the truth. I'm sure she would prefer divorcing him and taking every cent he has rather then living in ignorance with this creep.

 

I am sick to my stomach right now.

[Marie1973]

Hey Depressed -

 

I'm not going that route, as of right now.

 

I do have the shore house number & address where his wife is staying, but i'm not going to

stoop to his level. I'm better than that. I'd only do that if he pulled a serious stunt.

 

To be honest, I rather him stay in his miserable marriage & suffer with the "old hag"- as he

referred to her.