summergirl Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 My friend introduced me to this guy, and he called me after that and asked me out. I couldn't believe we had such a perfect 1st date (we went stargazing and citylights seing from top of the hill), he seemed so into me and said he really liked me. I like him too, a lot. On the 2nd date he asked me if we were going out and if I wanted to be his gf, and I said yes. On the first week we together he called me 3-4 times a day, and text messaging me a lot. And he always wanted to meet me everyday of the week. But now in our 2nd-3rd week, he called me only 1 time a day for a really short conversation, and almost never texting me again. Sometimes he doesn't pick up my phone either. And when he does call me he says that his gonna call me back again but he never does. For the first time, yesterday he didnt call me at all!!! I tried to call him once but he didnt pick up. He also canceled our meet up 2 times last week! When I asked about this cancelation and my hard time trying to contact him, he said he had some pretty bad days and promised to make it up to me next time. I also have to add, he's a foreigner. I'm asian, he's half asian - half white. He came here to teach English, he had stayed in my country only for 3 weeks before he met and dated me. When I asked him if he was not interested to see other (native) girls before he jumped into a relationship with me, he said he wasn't interested of any other girls and he knew what he wanted. He said to my friends and his friends too that he was in love with me. He also asked me to come with him to his hometown country in June. I became so paranoid and really afraid of losing him. But I read lots of dating tips that made me assumed that this is only man's games playing hard to get to make me even more crazy about him? The thing is, I really like this guy a lot, I'm standing in a very thin line before I completely falling in love with him. I've already seeing the future with him. But my mind keeps telling me not to show this feeling too much to him. I don't wanna look needy/clingy in front of him, although I think he's already read these signs from me. What should I do? I can't get him out of my head, but I feel he's getting far from me emotionally. Was he really had some bad days or he's just not interested anymore? Should i act like I care less too? Should I call him (but he might not pick up) or should i wait for his call (this is so hard for me but I think I can do it)? I just wanna meet him, miss him a lot! And how to keep him attracted? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 You have two choices. One, just come right out and ask him what he is doing and ask him if he is interested in you, or is he giving you the slow brush off and goodbye, leave me alone game. Or two, you can completely back off and let him call you. Seems you really DO like this guy, so maybe take afew days, don't call, email or IM him, THEN try to talk to him to find out what is going on. Give yourself those days to figure out if he is worth all the effort. For some reason, something in him has changed, just reading how he is brushing you off, not returning calls, cancelling dates...Or he's lied to you from the start and has a girlfriend. Is that possible? Link to post Share on other sites
Author summergirl Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 Thanks for the quick response, whichwayisup I think I'm gonna do the 2nd choice, to back off and let him call me. From what I see, he seems pretty honest and sweet. I accidentally heard (he didnt know I heard his conversations) he was talking to his friend on the phone in a lower voice when we were on a date that he had such a great time with me even more than when he was in his country. And the 2nd time he didint know that I heard him talking to his other guy friend that he was so glad to have me as his gf. I still dont understand why he changed, I haven't really know him. Yes, he could be lying to me, I'm not sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 3 weeks is pretty fast to be where you are at in the relationship with this guy. There's a possibility that the pace may have scared him, and he's backing off in an attempt to regain his personal space some. I find that when you spend such a large amount of time with someone right off the bat it tends to create an overload in one or both of the people. Every guy I've ever talked to is scared to death of losing his independence to some degree, and that may be what is driving him at this point. Relationships that start out a little slower, without seeing each other quite so much, tend to instill more trust that the persons life is still there own. But when the guy (or girl) starts to feel that it's an obligation to have to see or talk to the person every day, or 3-4 times a day every day, it starts to feel like they lost their free time and independence. IMO, give him space, and let him chose what he wants. If you force it, he'll pull further away. But if he's really into you, then he'll realize his fears were irrational and that he still has personal space in his life, with you in it too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author summergirl Posted March 15, 2006 Author Share Posted March 15, 2006 He called me yesterday and asked me to meet him but I couldn't cause I got something else to do. And he asked me to call him back later last night cause he had to work, but I didnt. Tee hee.. let's see how is it gonna work. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Wow! You have better grammar, spelling and punctuation than most people in England... Sorry, totally off-topic and I didn't mean to be rude but you sound like a very well-educated person and I admire that. Anyway... This guy may or may not be giving you the flick on purpose. Some guys' are attentive at first but then become their usual selves after a little while Just see how it goes with you not calling him back YOU HAVE THE WILLPOWER! Or, you could just ask him straight out the level of interest he has in a relationship with you, and see his response. I would give it a while though, he could be busy... who know's? Hey, could be worse... he could be hiding 4 wives and 110 kids Link to post Share on other sites
Author summergirl Posted March 15, 2006 Author Share Posted March 15, 2006 Wow! You have better grammar, spelling and punctuation than most people in England... You gotta be kidding! You should hear my weird (but sexy) accent Yes i have the willpower to do it, tho deep inside my heart I miss him like crazy 24/7!!! I dont know if I'm gonna be strong enough not to see him or call him back for awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
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