Guest Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 I am and have been happily married for over 10 years. Wife and I have seen the ups and downs and braved them all. However, there has always been a flirty tension between myself and one of my best friends wives. Nothing serious, but I have always felt a strange connection. We all get together quite often with the kids and such as she is quite close with my wife. Recently she made a comment about having feelings for me and feeling very attracted to me. Problem is I do too. I thought she was joking and realized that she wasn't. Now we are both really scared because neither of us has been in this situation before. We both love our spouses and kids very much, but the fact that we have known each other so long and feel so strongly about the other has us freaked out. We still haven't acted on our feelings, we both know we shouldn't, but it is getting hard not to. I haven't felt this way for another woman, only my wife. Just looking for a little feedback please... Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Hello, I would be happy to give you a little feedback. Let say you and your best friend's wife acted out on your feeling and got physically involved. The probably results after you got caught in time would be: 1) Your marriage with your wife would forever be damanged. 2) Your wife will never trust you or respect the way she once did 3) Your wife may not get over it and will look for a revenge affar. (By the way how would you feel if the roles were reversed) 4) Your wife decides to divorce you. 5) Your pension, house and all financial assets will be split 6) You will see your children on a part-time basis 7) You will be labeled by family and friends as untrustworthy and a cheater and adultery 8) You will have lost your friendship with this male friend 9) All of your friends will know you stabbed a friend and your wife in the back. These are just a few of the many consequences you will endure for willing to sabatage, humiliate and disrespect your spouse, your children and your family and friends. Look at life now because it will never be the same. Are you really willing to gamble like this? Look at the risk and reward. A little lay in the hay and you will have put at risk and everything this is important to you. All of the things I mentioned can be your future. The choice is yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Delectable Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 God...these posts make it so hard to trust the one you love. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 what kinda feedback d'ya want? A brutally honest one? Link to post Share on other sites
geaux1972 Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Hello registered now..... I am very aware of the consquenses of us sleeping together which is why we haven't. Just not real sure how to deal with these feeling. It's not like we never see each other and can just let them fade away. But I do not want to hurt my wife. Never in all my years did I think I would have to deal with something like this. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 the feelings will pass. get a grip on yourself for the love of your wife. we all get tempted occasionally, but that don't mean we act on it. Link to post Share on other sites
prfrogkisser Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 What a dilema... I really believe when people decide to cheat its because something in their marriage/relationship is missing. Think about how and why you feel in love with your wife. Has your behavior changed towards each other? You need to look deep inside your heart and do what feels right. You miss the excitement, the passion and so many other things but you can gain all that back if you are willing to work on it. What does this other woman have? Why she makes you feel this way? A lot of people forget to nurture their relationship and everything becomes a boring routine. Spicy things up at home. Try being more romantic. Spend quality time with your wife and loved ones. Never forget what made you and your wife fall in love why change all that? ****I recommend the book Light her fire by Ellen Freidman ***** She also has a website www.lighthisfire.com Its an awesome site check it out!! Link to post Share on other sites
geaux1972 Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 That is what I keep telling myself. I think as long as we can avoid any tempting situations (not being in a group setting) we wouldn't go out of our way to sneak. We both have too much to lose, just have to avoid that moment of weakness situation. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Just go for it!! Did you think I was serious? (I'm not.) I bet for a second you thought you had gotten the response you're looking for. frogkisser is right and what both of you need to do is evaluate what's missing in your respective marriages. Whether you want to admit it or not, there's something in your marriage that's missing which is why you're tempted to stray. MD Link to post Share on other sites
kypepeo Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 It’s normal to be attracted to somebody else even if you are happily married. That doesn’t however mean that you have to act on your feelings. The more you think about being with this other woman, the more you’ll want her and the more inevitable it will seem to have an affair. Get a hold of yourself, take control of the way you see her and think about her. Don’t tempt fate either by being left alone with her e.t.c. Like Bryanp said, it’s really not worth it. You’ll lose everything for your lack of self control. When you got married, you made a decision and sealed it with a vow. You made up your mind to be faithful and to value what you have with your wife. Look back at the ten years you’ve had. You wouldn’t have made it through if you hadn’t stood by your marriage vows. You made a promise. It’s up to you to do whatever it takes to keep it. This is not just about you and how you feel. Remember that there are two families involved here. Are you willing to destroy that? Link to post Share on other sites
geaux1972 Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I agree with you all. I have no intention on cheating on my wife. I would never do anything behind her back. However, my friend's wife feels like she should tell her husband about how she has feelings for me. I really don't think this is a good idea. I think this would do nothing but stir up an already difficult situation and ruin a friendship. We haven't acted on these feelings, but bringing them up could be just as detrimental. Link to post Share on other sites
netter Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Boy, you sound like what my husband did to me with my friend. I can tell you that you will lose all trust from your wife and it hurts so badly, We have dropped our friends because of this. If she was such a good friend to your wife she wouldn't even think of doing this to her or you either. Sounds like you would lose alot by getting attached to this women. I would really think about this. If I were you in your best interest I wouldn't want to be around with this women and be honest with your wife. Because if she finds out by someone else that will only make things worse. Beleive me, I know. Just a hint from the wife that got hurt by a husband and friend. They never had sexually anything but the flirting was unreal. Link to post Share on other sites
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