Never knew I could experence so much stress

[AHIWON]

Thanks! I can't wait to move!

 

What the bitter X has done is steal a bunch of my items from the garage at our house in early August. Tools and the like which my X wouldn't be interested in. Her dad would. I asked for them back, no reply. I put a lock on the door from the garage to inside the house so nothing else would go missing.

 

3 weeks after that I decided to check on my house on the way back to my apartment after leaving my aunts birthday party. I was there just 3 days before. My GF was with me. I pull in the driveway and notice the lights on in the master bedroom. I figured the evil one was there but I didn't see her car anywhere. Then the lights went out, we both saw it. I told my GF to stay in the car and lock the doors, there is no way I'd want those two to come face to face with each other. I opened the front door to the house and noticed the basement door open and the blinds closed at the patio door at the back. House has never been like that in the 10 years I have lived there. I sensed something severely wrong. I went to the garage and grabbed a 3 foot iron prybar and went upstairs. I very well may have killed someone if I had an encounter with someone I didn't know. Adrenalin level was sky high. The two bedroom doors were kicked in. They had locks on them. I put one on the room where I slept months before in case I was attacked while I was sleeping. The other room the X put the lock on about a week before. At that point my GF is standing outside the house while the front door was open. I told her to call 911. They said to get out and put down the iron bar before the police arrive. I did. Took them about 4 minutes to arrive. Then a police helicopter, then a canine unit. Police were going thru the house for about 2 hours. I could hear them yell every now and then while I hoped they had found somebody. It was a strange break in. My 86 gallon aquarium was drained and my fish dead in the bottom. Tidy crooks indeed, emptied a jewelry box drawers and put the drawers back. I'd expect the place to be torn apart but it wasn't. Police dog followed their cent out of the basement door, over the fence, up the neighbors path down the street a ways and it ended at the curb. Who ever they were got in a car apparently.

 

I was missing about $17K worth of my stuff. I had no idea what was missing from my X and she wouldn't tell me. She wanted no part in filing a insurance claim.

Strange. 15 hundred bucks worth of damage to the house and $17K of my stuff missing, no idea what of hers is missing and she doesn't want to file a clam? Red flags, lots of them! This doesn't add up. I filed a claim alone and told the insurance company what has been happening. I had no choice. I fixed the damage to the house less the basement window. Ins. was going to issue a cheque in both our names which would have covered the cost of the window. I would have replaced it with those funds and asked the X if she would sign the cheque so I could fix the window. It was in both our interest to fix it. Nope, wouldn't do it. This is all under ins. investigation still. My gut feeling is my X is behind it but I have no way of knowing for sure. I know her father will steal the eyes out of your head if he thought he would get away with it.

 

A week after that, someone attempted to smash the lock off the garage door from inside the house. That didn't work so they pulled the pins out of the hinges from the other side and opened the door that way. I don't know if anything went missing. There is so much stuff in my garage. There were no signs of forced entry from outside the house. Someone with a key to the front door did this one. My guess is the X again. Didn't have time to get into the garage during "the break in" since I came by and interrupted that one. Damn it all. The house is getting beaten up for no reason. This is completely irrational.

 

A few weeks after that, a dental claim I filed under her insurance for about $2K for work I had done in the spring was paid out to her via payroll. Won't give me back the funds. I paid the dentist myself but she took the funds paid out from ins.

 

This woman is pure distilled evil!

None of this is going to look good in court on her. It's a good thing this isn't bothering me. I'd be a mental train wreck.

 

She isn't communicating with me in any way, just trying to mess with me by other means. I have not contacted her since telling her about the break in.

[AHIWON]

I did something today that many folks here likely think I shouldn't have done. I replied to an ad that I ran into purely by accident. I was not looking for anyone but when I saw "31 year old cosmetic surgeon, over $600K income per year, swimsuit model when she was a teen and still looks the same, many years helping children in Africa from burn injuries out of her own pocket" well I just had to reply. Explained who I am truthfully and what I expect from a relationship. Well the ad was placed by a professional match maker hired by the surgeon. I happen to match this woman to a tee and the match maker replied saying she would like to meet with me. I met the match maker today, told her all about me and what I expect from a relationship. It went well. She intends to have us meet and see where things go. She also has another stock broker client of hers who also sounds like another good fit. Wants me to meet her too if the surgeon doesn't work out. The stock broker is 29 which might be too young for me. I'll be 39 at the end of Jan. I don't care about money at all, a woman could be a waitress and I would feel no different about her. They both sound like outstanding women. I have never dealt with women like this till this year. I always figured they were way out of my league. Not at all. There are some real women out there having a hard time meeting other real men.

 

I did pretty good on lavalife this spring but I got swamped in women. Many wanted to just flirt online and endless emails and MSN chats and the damn phone. I was loosing track of who was who and the stories they were telling me. I met 3 doctors and several other high status women. Soon as I hit a second date with one of those doctors, chemistry was just right it seemed and I trashed my profile as quick as I could. I couldn't wait to get off of there. I was only there a bit less than a month.

 

Can't believe I stayed in that abusive loveless relationship for YEARS and didn't come to my senses. I missed out on a lot of good years because of it. Never again.

[Chrome Barracuda]

You know what, get your house in order first. Go get moving trucks and get the rest of the **** outta there then get security cameras in the house activated, that way they'll be caught red handed and when you show the cops they can go and arrest them!

 

Theyre was a story here in new york of a woman who was in a custody battle with her ex husband and he got custody, same week the ex husband ended up dead and the daughter saw it all. A months later come to find out the killer was related to the wife. Now she's under consipracy of murder and all lots of other charges!

 

Theyre so many simlarities in your story. You need to get your stuff, sell the house and move far away from the F-ing nutcase as much as you can, and limit your contact through your lawyer.

 

Your life may be at stake. I just want you to deal with the immediate issues. This is serious! Take care of yourself.

[AHIWON]

I can't even go back to my house until the court grants me access. My X has temporary exclusive use of the house. Most every thing of value was either stolen or I already have it. I don't care about the house. My lawyer's first motion will be to have the house sold and moneys put into trust until this is fully resolved. He thinks I am reasonable. We were acquaintances before he took on this separation crap.

 

She doesn't know where I live and I will never divulge that information. I am not worried about my X so much per say but her brother who is a total nut case and married into money. His idle mind might want me snuffed out so to be safe, she will never know where I live. I can't be found too easily. My official address now is not where I live and won't be for a few years.

 

My dog is extremely protective over me and would die to defend me, I keep a bottle of bear spray near by at all times. I had to fight a lot growing up and was pretty good at it. I've taken down boys much bigger than me. I haven't been in a fist fight for 20 years but doubt I lost that skill. Now seeing the dirty way men fist fight these days, I will use anything around me to win too, a lamp or the notebook I am typing from. I'm not an easy guy to take out.

[AHIWON]

One thing my GF said after the break in happened and she saw what I done was pure excitement on her part. Said it made her wet. Told me my testosterone level was so high, I wanted to kill anything in site. That is true, I did. I wasn't thinking about her impression of anything while it was going on. All I thought about was protecting what is mine. Was also thinking about protecting her and at the end of the list, me. What I did was stupid, trying to protect material things while putting my own life at risk. It wouldn't be worth it. The heat of the moment told me otherwise tho.

[AHIWON]

I haven't forgotten about this place, I've just been enjoying my new found life which doesn't really seem so new anymore. I've been reflecting today on this past year and on my life so I decided to do some writing. Hope the old regulars here are doing well and the newbies are getting the guidance they need and deserve. I was a train wreck when I started this thread. Not any more and hope more people are helped here just as I was. This place will always hold a special place in my heart and I will be forever grateful for it. Merry Christmas to all.

 

Here is what I wanted to share.

 

 

 

The true Measurement of a man

 

The true measure of a man is not determined by what he accumulates in his life nor how outwardly successful he may appear. A real man does not define himself by the type of car he drives, his job title, his salary or how often he travels. A confident man need not boast about his triumphs nor his worldliness. A man with a degree does not automatically equal intelligence, common sense or street smarts. A man with much sexual experience does not guarantee pleasure in the boudoir. Being a good provider does not equate to being a good partner. So what is the true measure of a man?

 

I believe the true measure of a man is determined by how he handles the setbacks in his life and his ability to overcome them and still maintain optimism for a brighter tomorrow. A man whom despite all the temptations this life has to offer can still operate with a strong sense of good old fashioned values: honesty, respect, integrity, loyalty, monogamy. A man that is genuine, communicative, compassionate and humble. He knows first hand that tribulation builds character and a sense of what truly matters in life…family…friends…and above all a loyal and loving life partner.

 

What ever happened to good old fashioned courtship? Earning trust? Building desire? A self assured man expresses the required self control and patience to allow intimacy to unfold naturally and will not attempt to expedite the process. Good things come to those that wait. Timing is everything. He knows that without chemistry on all levels, true intimacy and passion…and therefore ultimate pleasure… is not possible. For him, one night stands and friends with benefits are no longer satisfying. He views the available women as a menu to select one woman from and see where it may lead rather than as a buffet table where many women are to be sampled at once.

 

He is not perfect nor is he looking for perfection. Of course physical attraction is extremely important but beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. We can’t help what we find and don’t find attractive. Bodies age, beauty withers and we collect war wounds along the way. It’s a fact of life. A real man is good with his hands, and not afraid of hard work or getting dirty. He can use a chainsaw on the weekend and type a convincing business report on Monday morning.

 

A real man is intelligent, articulate, really witty with a dry sarcastic sense of humor, perceptive, realistic he's an excellent communicator, both verbally and in script. He exercises common sense. Hes a rebel at heart and are not afraid to challenge authority when necessary. He seeks alternative news sources because he knows you can’t trust the media and government. He may not be a leader but he is definitely not a follower. He follows his own path, regardless of how others may view him.

 

A real man never gets angry. He is in total control of his emotions. Someone may try to get under his skin but he will never lose self control, he will firmly but diplomatically put them in their place. He realizes nothing gets solved when angry and it only makes things worse. Cool and collective with his wits about him wins every time.

 

A real man has no fear. He realizes that to get all that life has to offer, you have to take a chance. He isn't dumb, he doesn't run in front of buses. He may fail but learn from his mistakes. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of

acceptance are never part of his decision making process.

 

A real man never gets jealous. He recognizes that will push people away from him rather than draw them closer. Opposite effect of its intention. He has enough self esteem to know the people in his life are there cause they choose to be and he doesn't have need be out Jones'n anybody.

 

A real man is emotionally stable and knows himself. He's dealt with any past relationship baggage, licked his wounds,learned from his mistakes and moved on. He knows what he needs and what he is capable of giving in a relationship. He is emotionally available, open and has no problem working out the inevitable relationship issues with tact and respect. He is afectionate, loving and caring.

[Gunny376]

You have learned and grown much Grasshopper! Take the pebble from my hand!

 

But know this, and know this well! There is still much to learn and grow. You will graduate the day they plant you in the ground of old age.

 

I once remarked to my great-grandmother when she was 96, (her mind was very sharp and she lived alone until the day she died. She died of heat stroke hoeing her vegetable garden) that she must have learned a lot about people and living during her 96 years of living.

 

She told me:

 

"I've learned more about living and people the last six years than I did all the other ninety put together!"

 

One of my "biggies" comes from the fourteen Leadership Traits that I learned while in the Marine Corps: "Identify Your Weakness, and seek self-improvement!" I do this daily!

 

Being a reitred Marine, I'm big on Honor, and "Keeping Your Honor Clean" aka reputation. There's been more than one occassion when its all that saved my @zz! My reputation in the Corps was such, that I had a three star general tell me, "Where I go ~ you go!" Greatest compliment I've ever recevied! Meant more to me than any damn medal. (He made good on his promise I might add. Deployed more my last four years than all the other sixteen put together.)

 

Marriage isn't what it use to be back in the day. Not even thirty-years ago, let ago fifty years ago. Yet we're still operating off those "rules" and even some from thousands of years ago as to what is proper for a man to be a man, a woman to be a woman, ~ let alone marriage?

 

Over the last eighteen years I've read this book and that book, and to really get the full picutre as what's going on with the modern concept of mariage means a life-long study.

 

Your, my best bet is to find someone who is committed to finding the answers to the questions, and the soulutions to the problems! AKA a "LadyJane" and/ or LoveShack Lady.

 

Not to say you should be looking to hook up on LS, but rather looking for someone who's willing to read and educate themselves on a on-going process! And not take Love for granted.