Shocking news about husband

[msswitch]

You have every right to feel, to cry, to be angry. But don't let this experience break you. Free yourself from it. Use this experience as a stepping stone to greater peace. Once you come out on the other side you will be stronger. Realize that no matter how much we love or trust someone, we will never be able to control them. They are their own person(s) and they will make mistakes - even painful ones like this. Forgive them both so that you can heal and grow. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you take them back, it just means that you now handle them with a long handled spoon, if at all. More importantly, forgiveness means that you can now go on living the life intended for you. Let them live with and dwell on the guilt and shame of the situation. Why should you suffer twice? God bless you. You and yours are in my prayers.

[tonyp56]

To begin, did you not say that you two were apart during the time that he slept with your sister?

 

I mean, sorry, don't see the problem, if it would have been someone else, would you be making such a fuss? I really don't think so, why? Because I believe you are more upset that your sister did this with your current husband--unless I read it wrong, you guys have only been married for 2 years now--and she didn't sleep with him while you guys were married. So what is the deal?

 

If your husband and sister dated before you dated him, and you guys were "meant" to be, and you fell in love with him, you saying you wouldn't sleep with him because your sister did? I mean come on, out of this world, with all the skanks out there, you'd rather your husband sleep with a total stranger before he met you? In this case, slept around with a bunch of strange women before getting back with you?

 

Did you sleep with no one when you two were a part? I mean 18 years off and on, and only being married for 2 years is a big gap, surely you slept with others. Would it be fair if he judged you because of who you slept with while you two were apart?

 

I am sorry, don't get what the deal is. So it is your sister, be mad at her for a while, but really, your husband wasn't with you when he slept with her--at least from the way I read your post. Perhaps, you won't be able to sleep with him for a while, OK, but is it really worth tossing those 18 years of history out the window.

 

After all, he slept with your sister and he chose you! He's with you ain't he?

 

Now if he slept with her while you two were together, then I could agree with you and understand why you are so upset. But I go back, which would you rather have, he slept with your sister, or would you rather to know he slept with some nasty, strange woman? Come on, think, get beyond yourself, and realize, him sleeping with your sister isn't that big of a deal. Not saying you three should have a threesome or anything, just keep it in perspective, your sister is his PAST, not present, not the now. Again, if you two were together when he did this, I'd understand, but you weren't, you two were split for whatever reason, and you have no more right to be upset with who he chose to sleep with than he does to be upset of who you slept with.

 

I hope you can work this out, you shouldn't give up. Go to couples therapy, go to individual therapy, let go of your anger, and make peace with sister. You don't have to today, but remember, she is your sister.

[MoonGirl]

To begin, did you not say that you two were apart during the time that he slept with your sister?

 

I mean, sorry, don't see the problem, if it would have been someone else, would you be making such a fuss? I really don't think so, why? Because I believe you are more upset that your sister did this with your current husband--unless I read it wrong, you guys have only been married for 2 years now--and she didn't sleep with him while you guys were married. So what is the deal?

 

If your husband and sister dated before you dated him, and you guys were "meant" to be, and you fell in love with him, you saying you wouldn't sleep with him because your sister did? I mean come on, out of this world, with all the skanks out there, you'd rather your husband sleep with a total stranger before he met you? In this case, slept around with a bunch of strange women before getting back with you?

 

Did you sleep with no one when you two were a part? I mean 18 years off and on, and only being married for 2 years is a big gap, surely you slept with others. Would it be fair if he judged you because of who you slept with while you two were apart?

 

I am sorry, don't get what the deal is. So it is your sister, be mad at her for a while, but really, your husband wasn't with you when he slept with her--at least from the way I read your post. Perhaps, you won't be able to sleep with him for a while, OK, but is it really worth tossing those 18 years of history out the window.

 

After all, he slept with your sister and he chose you! He's with you ain't he?

 

Now if he slept with her while you two were together, then I could agree with you and understand why you are so upset. But I go back, which would you rather have, he slept with your sister, or would you rather to know he slept with some nasty, strange woman? Come on, think, get beyond yourself, and realize, him sleeping with your sister isn't that big of a deal. Not saying you three should have a threesome or anything, just keep it in perspective, your sister is his PAST, not present, not the now. Again, if you two were together when he did this, I'd understand, but you weren't, you two were split for whatever reason, and you have no more right to be upset with who he chose to sleep with than he does to be upset of who you slept with.

 

I hope you can work this out, you shouldn't give up. Go to couples therapy, go to individual therapy, let go of your anger, and make peace with sister. You don't have to today, but remember, she is your sister.

 

 

tony,

 

You definitely just don't get it. They had KIDS together and he slept with her SISTER. That is disrespectful at best and an absolutely disgusting act of betrayal at worst. THEN he failed to mention this to her BEFORE they got MARRIED. She certainly has a right to be upset.