sb129 Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 She's projecting all of her perfectionism and dissatisfaction onto you, and she needs to figure this out. I think this is the key issue here. But 21?? She is sooo young. And obviously very immature. I don't know what her problem is, exactly. She's jealous or insecure or it could be several other things or maybe a mix. But she's not saying things that show she respects or supports you. She's comparing you and herself to some ideal that she's created, it sounds like. You should be someone she respects and admires, or else why would she be with you? This is backed up in the other thread too CB. Her behaviour and the things you have said about her in the other thread all sound like she is jealous, insecure and immature. And as usual WWIU has hit the nail on the head. she sounds high maitenance too, not only has a push on herself to BE something, she expects you (and probably others around her as well) to be the sameway. She IS immature, and has alot of growing up to do. Anybody who throws around killing themselves if they haven't accomplished X, Y or Z at age 21, needs to grow UP alot. She has alot of maturing and growing to do as a person... Yes, this is immaturity. She hasn't a CLUE about jobs, life in general. If she really thinks at age 21 life is over if you're not established and settled, she DOES need a reality check. WTF. WHY are you with a girl who makes you feel like crap and is making YOU feel insecure and bad about yourself??? Seems you two are not a good match, at all... And so has Lennox. She's a dream killer. Dump her now before she traps you and convinces you to give up your dreams and work some job you hate because you'll make better money at it. Chocolate Boy, I think you need to seriously think about whether this relationship is doing you any good. Cos I am not hearing many positive things about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate_boy Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 Ok guys I'm considering taking the advice on board and ending it... I'm just feeling empty and sick all the time, I'm also finding myself less attracted to her, we're fighting everyday and we must have had sex like twice this year now. Plus we went out for dinner the other night and she sat there looking out the window and we just didn't have anything to talk about, I asked her what's wrong, she said she's depressed, I asked what it was over and she said it was me... she wouldn't say anymore.. but it sounds like she's not happy. Final straw was today, I'm not driving at moment as got a ban (won't go into it), I was due in work this afternoon, but she wanted me to help her with a project she's working on, so I said I would but stressed I had to be in work by 4pm, and she's like yeah I know.. so it gets to 3.45 and I'm like calling a taxi, and she's saying "no no I'll drive you its ok". So I helped her for another few mins, it got to 3.55 and I'm telling her I have to go, and she's getting all bad tempered saying I'm just been lazy and wanting to put off helping her. FFS I HAD TO GO TO WORK!! I told her, and said "I need to go now, I'm gonna be late" she's like "OK see ya then", I said "You not taking me?" and just shook her head, I told her she was the most selfish person I'd ever known and stormed out. I was hailing a cab in the street, 5 mins later she calls me saying she will take me and she knows she's selfish. I was already in a cab by then, she did want to use a computer at my workplace, and she drove down after the cab and is now in the office on a PC... I just feel so sick of her... right now I want to end it, I'm sure I do. But we live together and have a house contract til July. I do love her deep down, but I just don't think she's right for me and now can't imagine a future with this girl... I feel clostrophobic at the moment like she's suffocating me. Link to post Share on other sites
princessa Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Hi there... I personally think you're doing great for yourself and should be proud of your accomplishments. You seem to have your priorities straight, and are progressing through life at your own pace (which I don't think is slow, by the way). Your girlfriend might be all "career-oriented", but by all means be proud of what you've achieved in this short period of time all the while taking the time to enjoy your university years and life in general. If you ask me, dedicating some time to being a well-rounded individual is also very important and shouldn't be overlooked while chasing the dream job. As for your girlfriend, please forgive her for being so rude to you. She is young and immature, she's only starting out in life and hasn't accomplished anything on her own. It's easy for her to run her mouth. I don't think that anything that you will ever say to her will make her change her mind though. She might be ambitious, but she can't just fast-forward through matching the level of experience that you have at 25 years of age from the point in her life where she's at now. The gap in maturity between the two of you is seriously showing here. What you're trying to explain to her about life and career and how long it takes will never sink in until she actually experiences it for herself. Personally I think she's acting like a spoiled little brat who wants the dream job to just fall oh her head without having to lift a finger for it. It won't be long before she learns that this is not happening. You deserve more respect than that. At the very least you deserve her support in whatever you decide to do with your own life, at whatever pace you choose to do it. She's clearly too immature to understand this and to provide you the type of support you need in a partner. Soon you'll probably be wasting your time helping her to get her life back on track after she will have fallen from her high horse and broken her face and dreams. Maybe only then she will begin to understand the value of your own accomplishments and respect you. Honestly I don't think that it's worth for you to invest any time into babysitting her. And I'm sorry if this seems pessimistic Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Dump her. I mean it. A relationship is supposed to be fun, and a partner is supposed to be a source of enjoyment and positive feelings. At first I figured you were still with her because the sex was great, but it sounds like that's not the case either. She belittles you in many different areas of your life (which sound pretty damned good to me for 25, BTW). So she's fiercely ambitious? Super. What does she have to show for it? F*ck all. If you ask me, you're setting yourself up for further misery if you stay in a relationship with her. Nothing you ever do will be good enough for her. And that's not your fault, it's hers. She's a mess. She'll probably screw around on you to mask the pain of her own insecurities or out of a perverse sense of entitlement that overrides her commitments. You deserve somebody who thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, who encourages you, who takes pride in you and your achievements, and who has good things to say about you. In short, you deserve somebody who IT FEELS GOOD TO BE WITH. From what you've said, that ain't her. Trust me, it feels fantastic to be with somebody like the person I just described. My XW was like your GF in some ways. My now-GF thinks the world of me. It's like a breath of fresh air. Link to post Share on other sites
Lezbean Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 One more vote for you to kick her to the curb. Have you considered that she may be trying to bring you down to bring you to her level? Either way, she is high maintenance and immature. Get someone who adores you for who you are in every way. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I just can't help but laugh every time I see your avatar Lezbean. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Lezbean Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I just can't help but laugh every time I see your avatar Lezbean. :lmao: LOL!!! *** fluffs hair**** Why thanky ever so kindly Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 There he goes again. Or she? :lmao: Even if her posts are mean I'll always chuckle at Lezbean! Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Either way, she is high maintenance and immature. She's probably a bit out of his league. You need to work hard to keep them when you're in this situation. My advice is to stop being so selfish, and spoil her rotten. Get someone who adores you for who you are in every way. I have no idea what you are smoking. Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 She's probably a bit out of his league. You need to work hard to keep them when you're in this situation. My advice is to stop being so selfish, and spoil her rotten. HAHA! I HOPE THAT WAS A JOKE! If she is so ambitious, self-sufficient and in turn telling you to get off your lazy ass, it doesn't seem to me like she should be asking you for any help on a project. Couldn't such a PERFECT and Hard-working woman get that done on her own? My god, she's not 12 anymore. I agree with the poster who said she's trying to bring him down to her level. Makes much sense since it seems she has absolutely nothing to show for her life up to date. A lot of smack talking with little to back up that shi_. I think she is a little crazy as well imo. She calls you LAZY when you are in the process of going to work? Sounds a little oxymoronic to me or something along those lines. She needs help and you need a new woman.. someone a little bit more positive, upbeat and who loves you for you are. This bit3h is crazy as hell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate_boy Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 She's probably a bit out of his league. You need to work hard to keep them when you're in this situation. My advice is to stop being so selfish, and spoil her rotten. I have no idea what you are smoking. Noticed that every response to a post of mine from you is either insulting or absurd! Have I done or said something to piss you off in the past or something or are you naturally an *******? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate_boy Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 HAHA! I HOPE THAT WAS A JOKE! If she is so ambitious, self-sufficient and in turn telling you to get off your lazy ass, it doesn't seem to me like she should be asking you for any help on a project. Couldn't such a PERFECT and Hard-working woman get that done on her own? My god, she's not 12 anymore. I agree with the poster who said she's trying to bring him down to her level. Makes much sense since it seems she has absolutely nothing to show for her life up to date. A lot of smack talking with little to back up that shi_. I think she is a little crazy as well imo. She calls you LAZY when you are in the process of going to work? Sounds a little oxymoronic to me or something along those lines. She needs help and you need a new woman.. someone a little bit more positive, upbeat and who loves you for you are. This bit3h is crazy as hell. I do agree, she just doesn't see it, Ive tried to talk to her about it but she's so so stubborn she won't listen and always thinks she's in the right. I even told her last night I didn't think we were working she started crying and apologised and said she'd try harder, but again today she's been off with me, its like groundhog day, I'm sat there with her being quiet and in a sulky mood cos I won't give up all my time to help her with her career.. the fact that I am having to work 12 hour days at the moment seems to mean nothing, she even had the nerve to say to me today "can you call in sick tommorrow from work to come with me to do some filming"?! I said, "does my career mean nothing to you?" she's like saying not, but it feels like she's always belittling what I do, like ah just take a day off its not important, be 30 mins late its only your job... Guess there's no changing her? But it's so frustrating Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Get out get out as fast as you can!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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