do girls ever come back or just guys?

[Sharkyboy]

I dated my ex for 6 years, we started in high school, she dumped me because she felt like the relationship got boring and that she feels like she only loves me as a friend. We are both 24. I'm doing NC, almost a month now. Chased for the first month. Its been almost 2 months since we've broken up. Last time we talked 3 weeks ago she told me that she would like to meet up to eat but i said no because it was too soon to be friends. She said that we are always going to stay friends and that she is over us. She said that she is having fun now and is partying.

 

Just a month before the break up she was telling me how I was perfect for her and how she is in love with me and how we are going to have our wedding. Even the day we broke up she was telling me that I would be the perfect guy that she would want to marry and that shes scared that she is going to regret it when its too late. But then 3 or 4 weeks after breaking up shes like "I'm over us and we're just going to be friends, nothing more"

 

Do girls ever come back? In my case is it that she just needs to get her partying out of her system as she thought that she couldn't do it with me. She hasn't been single since she was 16. She said she feels like she missed out on having fun with her friends being together.

 

This happen to anybody else?

[Young&Sexy21]

I'm gonna give you some solid advice...I've been where you are. I'm in the middle of it right now again. I'm so sore---that's why I joined this forum.

 

So here it is...Forget her. It sounds not like something you want to do right now but forget her. I'm reading this amazing book called "conscious Loving" ---it's eye-opening. My relationship was full of so many things that I really didn't want but I overlooked them to "love" her.

 

Tell you what. You're never promised tomorrow---don't waste your time/energy getting bent over some broad who's got issues. Find someone to stimulate you and make you feel alive.

 

Word

[jusified]

Exactly what Y&S said.

 

Same thing happened with me, but after a bit of time you will realise alot of things and will not want her back.

 

Think about it after 3 or 4 month of just having fun been single and doing stuff with freinds. Ask yourself was she the girl of my dreams? did she love/care/respect me? Did she appeciate me and all the love/care I gave? if I met a girl now that is 90%plus of what I'm looking for, would I even thinik about her??

 

if you answer no to any of those answers then forget about her, she left you and she's missing out, not you. She's did you a favor.

[littlebopeep]

I think it happens both ways in guys and girls.Being together so young i think makes many people question their relationships and wonder if things are different with some1 else.

 

I cant understand why people say things like "you are perfect"i can see myself marrying you etc etc and not want to be with them,its a case of findind out if the grass is greener.

 

i

[Trialbyfire]

One consolation to this is that it happened before you got married. Sorry to say this but for someone to turn around that quickly after 6 years, it usually means they've found someone else.

 

Try to move on and use NC as a means to forget about her and start living again. Get busy, post on LS and deliberately set her out of your mind.

[Woggle]

Females only come back after you don't want them anymore.

[jusified]

LOL thats probably true, I'm sure everyone finds someone for them eventually in their life. Altof young ppl do make stupid mistakes and regret them later but alwell its their life.

 

Unless a relationship ended with no real break of trust then a second chance shouldnt really happen in my opinion. You also see alot of second chances and on/off relationship been really harmful to people.

[oppath]

Actually, I think this is fairly common with young relationships. It doesn't mean she found someone else or necessarily wants to date or sleep around, but it means she doesn't know what it is like to be on her own, and she wants to learn life skills, sadly including flirting/dating skills. She may want to flirt/attract attention and stoke her ego, feeling confident she has those skills before settling down in case marraige doesn't work out, etc. She may not conciously be thinking "the grass is greener."

 

My ex broke up with me for similar reasons, though I was a rebound after she left a 5 year relationship. She hadn't been single for more than a month or two since she was 18 (now 26). As unfair as it was, and as much as I wanted to blame her for getting into a relationship when she was not ready, in a way, she did what was best for her. Her getting involved with me was "wrong" but she does have a lot of growing up to do, so it's good for her to be single (though bad for me).

 

Similarly, this is a good opportunity for you. It is a life skill to learn how to cope with a broken heart, move on, and open yourself to others. You have missed out not on partying, but on knowing yourself outside the context of a relationship. It could be good for you too to be single. This is a time to learn about yourself.

 

Avoid her for now. You can't be friends until at least 6 months to a year following a break up where you were hurt. Those are the breaks. Take some time away, and eventually you'll realize the things you did not like in the relationship. If she contacts you, I'd keep things very brief. Don't contact her.