changwang310 Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Ok i know i'm one of the fortunate few that has made it to this step. She says she wants to give us another as i have followed LC for a month now. What do i do now? i haven't talked to her since she said it. What are my future actions now? somehow i find it easy to resist the urge to wanna say OK OK LET"S DO IT!!! perhaps i've healed enough to control myself now. I know all you guys especially JDUB and CaliGuy have been urging NC but i haven't really heard anything on what to do after they confessed they were sorry and wanted to try again. so do i see her? do i say "ok let's do it"? i kinda sorta have an idea what to do based on the theory of being a strong willed confident George Clooney type of guy. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 She will break up with you again so I suggest you don't go back to her. Link to post Share on other sites
loveratud Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 She will break up with you again so I suggest you don't go back to her. Hey there Captain Negative, we don't know any details of this situation. To the OP, just take things slowly, do things at your pace, so that you're comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Yernasia Quorelios Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 I agree with loveratud, take things slowly. Have a at least three heart-to-heart conversations a week apart to talk about how you go forward and how you both feel about the past. If she can't do this, then IMHO she's not serious about getting back together and is just looking for an ego boost. Keep to NC or LC between heart-to-hearts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author changwang310 Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 I agree with loveratud, take things slowly. Have a at least three heart-to-heart conversations a week apart to talk about how you go forward and how you both feel about the past. If she can't do this, then IMHO she's not serious about getting back together and is just looking for an ego boost. Keep to NC or LC between heart-to-hearts. Yea i keep hearing this NC here and there if in doubt, but she needs to experience me and i don't wanna bring up the nasty past right away. I want to show her i've changed, show her a good time, and have her experience me slowly till i can trust her again. Thatz how i got her to give me another chance in the first place. Honestly, i'm not really a fan of strict NC because thatz what i did first the first few weeks (requested her to not talk to me cuz she kept calling) and found out from a friend she was losing in touch with me but i do side with LC because how can someone possible come out of nowhere, out of the clear blue sky and come crawling back and begging you for another chance. It might work for women who are strong willed with that know what they want, but not girls with alot of pride or shy reserved old fashion girls that who believe guys should make the first move in everything they do from asking them out, ,etc (which is the type of girl in my place). Im more than likely sure she wouldn't mind having a conversation about the past, but not right now. Put urself in my shoes, i'm in control and it feels good for the first time in a while lol, why ruin it by turning things sour and bring up the nasty past so soon? Oh and this is the type of breakup where she broke up with me because i broke up with her a week before. Guess she's trying to get back at my for hurting her. I have to admit i did disrespected her emotions by gettin angry one day and acting like nothing happend the next. but over this month of being apart i read many relationship books and improved my mental self and discovered what a relationship was made up (trust,respect,patience,unconditional love + alot of hard work) and my inner demons (jealousy, fear, anger) not only for her but for myself for future relationships and just life in general.i believe my situation is alot better than alot of other people because i know she still loves me cuz of her constant contacting me in one form or another. She texts me, leaves me myspace comments saying i look nice, calls me right after a show we both watch, messages with i'm online, and sounds very upbeat everytime she contacts me. Her actions are a dead giveaway. Bottom line is her heart was just wrapped in armour to prevent her from gettin hurt again from me due to mistrust. Now she's seen me change the armour has come off. Now its time for action. slowly but surely any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 If you wanna get back together of course you have to talk at some point. Is this what you want? If you aren't ready at the moment then tell her. I agree with with the others. Take it slow. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherbear Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 changwang, i think you should take her back but dont say yes immediately. If she hurt you a lot, she has to earn it. If you both hurt each other a lot, then apologize to each other and talk. But never appear to be the one more attached even if you are. Now i do think there's an alpha dog in every relationship and everyone wants to be it. Being the one that cares much more than the other party puts yourself in a vulnerable situation. Btw, how come she finally said it herself? i remember you said she's very shy and wanted you to make the first move. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 It sounds like you really want her back. If so, don't avoid discussing history because it will come back and bite you in the arse. Approach it like it's been a learning experience and admit your failures but at the same time, ensure she admits hers too because it always takes two to tango. Then, the two of you need to let the past go or else you're doomed to failure because one will hold the past over the other's head, the next time you fight...and fight you will. I'm not aware of any relationship(s) that don't have bumps. Link to post Share on other sites
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