distancesucks Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 My boyfriend and I met in high in Grade 11. We liked eachother but at the time, we decided that we should not date because it didn't seem right at the time. We were bestfriends for a long time though. In our senior year, we finally decided it was the time so we started to date. Our relationship ever since the beginning was hard. We would fight over the little things. (99% of the time, it would be me to create these fights and pick at the small things). My boyfriend has endured a lot during the time we lived in the same city. I use to be very cruel to him..... I'd get mad, then he would run over to my house at midnight and stand out in the cold for hours until I would let him in. And when I get mad, I would slap and scratch him.... I was a very jealous person.. I would be mad at every girl he talked to and then I would make him hate that girl. This happened very often. Every week we would a big fight. Every other day, we'd be mad at eachother. I was very immature at the time............. We've been together for 14 months now. In September '06, we left to study in the University of Waterloo (Ontario) and I left to study in Simon Fraser University (B.C.) (Opposite ends of Canada!!!!!) Our LDR at the start was great. We've been long distance for 6 months now. We felt connected and it felt so great to achieve something. We fought less often but once in a while, my old habits would kick in and I would pick a fight over a small thing. After a while, we started to see little flaws in eachother that we both found hard to accept. During this past few weeks, we have been arguing lots. Just like the old times. I would find it hard to control my temper and anger. I would ridiculously get mad over the little things. It's been a long, long time since I've been jealous over someone else. I think that's one of the things I've been doing well so far. But, I still pick fights. I don't know what's wrong with me. And it's not even picking fights, I interrogate him until he gets mad and even causing him to break down and cry sometimes. I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to be a loving person. I never use to be like this. WIth all my exs in the past, with how I treat others, I am never cruel nor do I hold grudges. I was never such a jealous person before I met him. He treats me very well. Sooo well that I feel so guilty sometimes with the way I treat him and hurt him. We see eachother every 2-3 months when he comes to visit. We always have a great time when he visits and we both enjoy eachother's company very much. Please, I want to save myself, and save this relationship. I love him so much and I'm not ready to call it quits. But I've turned into such a monster. I've decided to see a professional counsellor at least once a week from now on to help deal with my anger issues and relationship problems. Please, if anyone has any sort of advice, please offer it. And I'm desperate of any happily-ending stories of LDRs.... If your LDR was successful, please tell me about it. I want to hear of good stories about them.. Because I really think I need more hope. Some times it feels like this relationship is going no where and I keep questioning if its worth it or not. Please offer anything. Thanks:) Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 , I interrogate him until he gets mad and even causing him to break down and cry sometimes. It's so cool when you can reduce a person to tears. Sometimes I have to grab their hair, pull their eyelids back, and make them look into the sun - as a last resort. But that almost always works. The good news is that you recognise the faults in your character, and are prepared to work on them. If he really loves you, then he will support you through this. Just keep communicating. Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. PS: Distance sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetie2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Please, if anyone has any sort of advice, please offer it. And I'm desperate of any happily-ending stories of LDRs.... If your LDR was successful, please tell me about it. I want to hear of good stories about them.. Because I really think I need more hope. Some times it feels like this relationship is going no where and I keep questioning if its worth it or not. Please offer anything. Thanks:) Well, I don't know if my story has a happy forever-ending, but at least the end of the story is happy, even if that's not the forever-end. My BF and I met online, 2 years ago. We communicated through MSN and other messengers for 8 months, then he came to visit me. I live in the US, and he in Germany (way harder than just a country inbetween, there's an ocean too). 17 months after his visit to the states, I came to Germany. There were some rough spots, when I did the same thing your doing, questioned if it was worth it, and I thought it was going no where, I could be happier without him (it was him who would make me cry with questions, not the other way around). We got through the rough spots, and finally made it to Dec 2006. I flew here, and am still here in Germany. Basically, that's the happy ending...we're together now! Although I'm going back to the states in a month, the 3 we're going to be together I think will pull together whatever got raveled in the 17 months apart. I think this summer we're going to get together also, so then it's only 3-4 months apart.... so with any luck, the relationship will continue as good as it is now. I hope this has helped...that's my happy-almost-ending Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 LDRs.... boo. I just left my BF at the train station today after spending the last blissful week together. We are moving in together later on this year and I can't wait. I hate saying goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetie2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 LDRs.... boo. I just left my BF at the train station today after spending the last blissful week together. We are moving in together later on this year and I can't wait. I hate saying goodbye. The goodbye's are killers! I remember saying my first goodbye at the airport in 2005, I litterally thought I was broken...now every day the second one is closer, the thought of it isn't 1/2 as bad as the actual thing. BUT...there's always the greetings at the airport, trainstation, whatever..that's great . When I saw my BF for the first time after 17 months apart, i thought if i opened my mouth my heart would fall out it was great... i guess that balances it out... contrats on moving in together! I hope it works out for you both, I love happy endings Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Me too. I am in line for some good luck with men!! My guy is worth all the travelling etc. 17 months! and here am I whinging about not seeing my man for 12 days! OK I will stop complaining now. Yay for webcams huh. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetie2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Me too. I am in line for some good luck with men!! My guy is worth all the travelling etc. 17 months! and here am I whinging about not seeing my man for 12 days! OK I will stop complaining now. Yay for webcams huh. Webcam's and mic's. Do you have Skype? If your computer is fast enough to support the newest version, then it works great for vid. and voice, and it's FREE! Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Happy is in quotation marks because I won't be truly happy until he is here with me forever but... I met my husband in 2001. We had a whirlwind dating relationship with some problems. But we worked them out and then moved in together. It was great but he had overstayed on his visa without approval, although the papers had been filed, so he had to go back to his country (5,000 miles away). That was the beginning of 2003. I went to visit him that same year and we were still together as much as ever. Then we went completely long distance for 3 years. Just talking on the phone and letters. Where he is there are no computers (and no access to the internet even if there were). This last year in 2006 I flew there and we were married. We hadn't seen each other, not even pictures, for 3 years and we got married 2 days after I got off the plane. It was amazing. When I was finally with him after 3 years of staying together, and communicating only by phone, it was absolutely incredible. The way we felt together and how tremendous our connection was after all that time - it was mind blowing. So I came back to the states - the hardest good-bye so far - to start the process of him coming back. There has been MAJOR issues with all of that the last couple of months but the papers should be filed in March and then, well, we'll see how long we have to wait for approval. But we are still together. Still working towards our together forever plan. I love him more now than I ever have and I know there is no one out there who could ever take his place - we're happily stuck with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
catrocks Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 The goodbyes are HORRIBLE, we have now done 6!!!! It gets easier, last time I only cried for about 2 minutes. But it still feels like I've been ripped apart. Long distance relationships are hard, I have been in one for 2 years now and I miss him more every day and I hate that we are not together all the time and I just want it to end so that we can be together. Well we are getting married in September, I am moving to the US to be with him (from the UK), and we thought this last 6 months would be the easiest because we have an end in sight... but it's HARDER!!! Because I can see the life we will have together, it's right there in front of me and my heart is there already but I'm stuck here dreaming about it and trying to stay sane for the next 6 months. Distance sucks. Having said all that, I love my fiancé so much, I can't imagine life without him. We had a year and a half together before he had to go back to America and that was the best time ever. We could have given up on us when he had to go back, but I knew that if we didn't give it a try I would regret it forever, never knowing what could have been. 2 years later I don't regret a second - it is hard as hell, the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but the fact that I will get to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life makes all this crap worth it. So if you feel that this guy is the one, or you feel like you'd regret not playing it out to see what happens, then go for it. You will hate not being together the whole time, but imagine how you'd feel if you gave up now and what could be if you stick with it. At the end of the day, the majority of long distance relationships do not last forever, and at the end of the the time apart you will be a stronger and more individual person because of it. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Skype rocks. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Skype rocks. Yes. *sigh* My husband is on a tiny island in the South Pacific. He doesn't have running water where he lives. Computers are a big dream. Internet is not even that yet... I miss him so much. So very much. I hope he is here soon. *Big Sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 My husband is on a tiny island in the South Pacific. He doesn't have running water where he lives. Computers are a big dream. Internet is not even that yet... Sorry about that, but it's not so bad. He'll be back soon. And New Zealand has some good stuff going for it, apart from those shortcomings. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Yes. *sigh* My husband is on a tiny island in the South Pacific. He doesn't have running water where he lives. Computers are a big dream. Internet is not even that yet... I miss him so much. So very much. I hope he is here soon. *Big Sigh* Isn't your husband tongan Island girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Yes sb129 - He is Tongan. (How'd you know that...ah - another post for sure!) He is currently located on the tiny island of Tongatapu. I miss him tremendously. We don't know when exactly it will be when we'll see each other again. Link to post Share on other sites
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