My sister

[magichands]

She always has to end everything with a negative remark, I swear. Jesus, dude.

My mum is exactly like that. It's true that your family knows you best, but she just doesn't understand how it makes you feel.

 

I finally decided that it's their way of showing that they love and care about you, and tune out, haha. La, la, la, la, la... I can't hear you.

[Touche]

I also agree with Story. Your last couple of posts were right on the money.

 

Alch, it does sound like she loves you and cares for you. That's sweet that she came over with the cakes. She sure doesn't sound like an abuser to me.

 

I'm curious about something though. How did you react when she lectured you about your messy place and not acting like a libertine?

[CardPlay3r]

Well see alchemyst the constant name calling and being put down is another thing abusers do.

 

You clearly have low self esteem and really if you'll get put down and called names all the time you'll have none left and maybe won't be able to recover from ther. You need love and affection in your life not being called stupid and told you can't do anything right 10x/day and treated with cold shoulders.

 

So I think moving in would make it worse for you...and come on, what kind of help is this, if you run a bit late first time you get to sleep on the street and 2nd time get thrown out on the street? Can you imagine the pain that will bring you?

[the_alchemyst]

Just as an addendum, I've read your posts before where you've said you felt abandoned by your parents when they split and left.

 

You write as if you wanted/needed more parenting and didn't feel like you were ready to be kicked out of the nest.

 

At the same time, you were dissatisfied with you mom, and it sounds like your sister's style of relating to you disappoints you as well. I can understand that, and it is hard when you wish for people to relate to you differently and it seems they won't or can't.

 

But at the same time, your sister can only offer you what she has to offer, and will only be who she is going to be. You won't change her, so it is up to you whether you want to accept her support on her terms or not. She is offering you what she feels she can, and I believe it is her way of showing love to you.

 

You're right. I wish I had gotten helped more by my parents, instead of having them disappear on me like ghosts. To this day, I have no way of getting ahold of them. What kinds of parents are those?

 

Anyway, as I said, you're right. I know that what I'm doing is wrong, I really do, and I have tried so hard to correct myself many times, but I always fail, for some reason. And unfortunately, I don't know what that reason is. I just can't ever pull through in getting rid of all of the things that impair my betterment as a person.

 

The only reason I can come up with is that I really am emotionally inept/inadequate and that my "emotional" ways of dealing with things is wrong.

 

I don't think my sister wants to abuse me. I don't see why she would want to waste her time doing this. Plus, as Touche said, she really is giving up some things which are extremely personal, in order to try to benefit me and my life. And I really appreciate all of this. I think that my sister wants to help me, but at the same time, she displays so much apathy even in the words which are meant to be kind, that it's really hard for me to translate them.

 

I'm really scared that I won't be able to change. I'm scared I'll end up failing again, and this time disappointing more people other that simply myself. What if I can't stop smoking stuff over night? What if I'm not smart enough to pull off straight As? What if I cannot conceal my emotions or change them?

 

If I don't pull through, I know she won't have me there, but that's not even what scares me as much--what does is thinking and feeling that I will have utterly failed, again, even with someone else's help.

 

Sometimes I feel like failing here on my own, rotting all of my hopes and dreams away, is by far more accpetable that failing even when someone wanted to help me out.

 

I have no faith in myself. Too useless. Like I can't do anything right. And I haven't done anything right, really. I don't see it. I feel so useless, in fact, that I don't think I will even be able to benefit from the help that is being offered to me.

 

Why do I suck so much?

[Touche]

Well see alchemyst the constant name calling and being put down is another thing abusers do.

 

You clearly have low self esteem and really if you'll get put down and called names all the time you'll have none left and maybe won't be able to recover from ther. You need love and affection in your life not being called stupid and told you can't do anything right 10x/day and treated with cold shoulders.

 

So I think moving in would make it worse for you...and come on, what kind of help is this, if you run a bit late first time you get to sleep on the street and 2nd time get thrown out on the street? Can you imagine the pain that will bring you?

 

Where are you getting this stuff? Who calls her stupid 10x a day.

 

Also, you say "Can you imagine the pain that will bring you?" It won't bring her ANY pain if she comes home when she's supposed to. Pretty simple, really.

[Touche]

Alch, do you feel like you can open up to her and tell her your fears? Tell her some of what you just said here...that you're afraid you'll fail.

 

And you know what? NO ONE has their act together completely. EVERYONE fails at trying to get it together. Almost no one gets it together on the first try..or even the third or fifth.

 

Look at all of us on here...those in our 30's and 40's and beyond who are STILL trying to "get it together" in one way or another.

 

You're not alone.

 

You're not a failure. At least you're thinking about all of this and wanting some changes. Look at your failure friends. Do they even THINK about change? I doubt it. They're satisfied with things as they are. But you want more for yourself. And you're way too smart to not have more and to not expect more of yourself.

 

You CAN benefit from your sister's help if you let yourself. Don't set yourself up for failure before you've even given it a shot.

[Storyrider]

I'm really scared that I won't be able to change. I'm scared I'll end up failing again, and this time disappointing more people other that simply myself. What if I can't stop smoking stuff over night? What if I'm not smart enough to pull off straight As? What if I cannot conceal my emotions or change them?

 

These are not the fears of someone who sucks. These are reasonable, realistic fears. And that is your sister's biggest failing, in that if you can't feel comfortable telling her these worries, she can't help you as much as she might. You probably can't quit smoking at once all by yourself. I think it would unrealistic to try that. And you will probably be more emotional, not less, while going through that process.

 

As far as not being smart enough, I have no worries about you there.

 

If I don't pull through, I know she won't have me there, but that's not even what scares me as much--what does is thinking and feeling that I will have utterly failed, again, even with someone else's help.

 

I wonder how you could let your sister know some of these fears?

 

I wonder if you could tell her you don't want to set yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic goals, and ask her to help you out with this aspect of her plan. I'm sure you don't want to expose your underbelly to someone who seems on the attack. But is there a way of doing this without making yourself too vulnerable?

 

Would you want to go to AA or the equivalent for the support with quitting? I can't remember if you're seeing a therapist right now. Would she be willing to pay for that?

[the_alchemyst]

I also agree with Story. Your last couple of posts were right on the money.

 

Alch, it does sound like she loves you and cares for you. That's sweet that she came over with the cakes. She sure doesn't sound like an abuser to me.

 

I'm curious about something though. How did you react when she lectured you about your messy place and not acting like a libertine?

 

The cakes. That was so sweet. My sister baked them for me. My mom used to make them, and I loved them, but I was never able to make them myself. My sister could, but she doesn't like sweets, so she never made them. At least, I don't think she did.

 

Anyway, I thought that was really sweet. It was the first time since as far as I can remember that my sister "makes" something for me.

 

Nobody gives me cakes. I was really surprised. And so, so touched. My eyes got teary eyed, and she told me that if I started to cry she was going to take them away.

 

So I stopped. Anyway...

 

How did I react? Hmm. I felt bad. I didn't mean to have such a messy place. I usually don't, either, since I live in such a small place, that it being cluttered makes me feel all claustrophobic. It's just that this weekend I had a lot of essays to write and I had to go to work . . . and I wasn't feeling so well, so I didn't get around to it.

 

As far as me being a libertine--I didn't really think I was one. I mean, I don't go out all of the time. A lot of the time I stay at home and get wasted in all sorts of ways. And when I do go out, I come back by like . . . 3 am?? Something like that. When it gets too dark to be in the slums.

 

Okay, maybe that is bad.

 

Well see alchemyst the constant name calling and being put down is another thing abusers do.

 

You clearly have low self esteem and really if you'll get put down and called names all the time you'll have none left and maybe won't be able to recover from ther. You need love and affection in your life not being called stupid and told you can't do anything right 10x/day and treated with cold shoulders.

 

So I think moving in would make it worse for you...and come on, what kind of help is this, if you run a bit late first time you get to sleep on the street and 2nd time get thrown out on the street? Can you imagine the pain that will bring you?

 

Not really. Can it be worse that what I currently go through, though?

 

See. I don't know.

 

My mum is exactly like that. It's true that your family knows you best, but she just doesn't understand how it makes you feel.

 

I finally decided that it's their way of showing that they love and care about you, and tune out, haha. La, la, la, la, la... I can't hear you.

 

All of my family is like that, except my dad and my brother . . . kinda. The rest are robots.

 

I think I'm adopted.

[Touche]

Alch...I'm trying to get a picture of how you both interact with each other. You said that when she brought up about your place being messy and the "libertine" comment, you "felt bad" and then you launched in to the reasons for your place being messy, etc.

 

I only want to know how you reacted with HER. Did you answer her? Did you tell her why it was a mess? Or did you tell her it was none of her business? Did you respond with anger and annoyance or did you acknowledge that it was a mess...I mean how did you react to her criticisms?

 

I think the fact that she said she would take the cakes away if you cried is very revealing. Did she say it with a smile? Was she joking? (I hope so!)

 

But see, I will go back to saying though that it's her ACTIONS that I'm impressed with, not what she says to you. The cakes, the sacrifices...all of that tells me that she loves you and that she has your best interests at heart. I mean maybe she's not the warmest person on earth but she clearly gives a shyt and cares for you.

 

And again, I agree with Story. Can you talk to your sister? Maybe you can write her a letter? And have you expressed your gratitude for her willingness to help? You haven't answered that one yet.

[Trialbyfire]

Perhaps you do need a sit-down with your sister. Tell her you do appreciate the help that she's willing to give you but that you don't know if you can be the person that she wants you to be. You have a right to be yourself. On the other hand, I think some of the measures she's suggested honestly will help you get back on your feet. I sometimes wish I had a little more discipline in my life too, although I, like you, don't want it rammed down my throat.

 

Overall, I guess what I'm trying to say is, is there room for compromise so that it will adapt to both your personality styles?

[CardPlay3r]

It amazes me to no end seeing how so many people see nothing wrong with her sister letting her sleep outside 1st time she is later than the curfew, and throwing her out on the street the 2nd time. Wow, so loving and helping.

 

Let's take some of the other ridiculous demands :

 

- Straight A's right of the bat. Right, it's not that you're not smart enough alch because I think you are, but anyone that hasn't really studied for a long period needs time readjusting to it noone can go from not reading anything for 2 years to straight as/bs in an instant.

 

- Cut smoking right off. Everyone that has quit smoking or tried to knows how hard it is, and very few manage to quit cold from the first time. With all the stress she's having that's almost impossible.

 

- my favorite : don't be "emotional" - wow, really, you have someone with low self esteem, depression, hurt from love and you want to help by demanding feelings/emotions aren't talked about but kept in. Yep that's gonna be a winner

 

Also she pretty much won't be treated as a person, not allowed to have opinions just bow the head and obey.

 

To sum it up, she is demanding that alchemyst changes completely in an instant or she'll kick her out. How the hell do you expect to help someone with so many problems when you're not allowing for mistakes to happen along the process??

 

I mean is she expected to flip a switch and in a second get rid of all the issues and don't make a single mistake? That's not unreasonable, that's impossible.

[magichands]

It amazes me to no end seeing how so many people see nothing wrong with her sister

It amazes me how quickly you jump at labelling her sister as "abusive." That's crazy talk!! I think you think that the world is out to get everyone. There is absolutely no shame in asking for, or receiving, help.

 

You believe such actions only serve to open oneself up to abuse. What utter rubbish.

[Touche]

It amazes me how quickly you jump at labelling her sister as "abusive." That's crazy talk!! I think you think that the world is out to get everyone. There is absolutely no shame in asking for, or receiving, help.

 

You believe such actions only serve to open oneself up to abuse. What utter rubbish.

 

You know, you're brilliant.

 

I had no idea where to start to educate our young friend. One day he will understand.

 

I'm sensing a lot of "projection" on his part.

 

You know, Card not everything is as black and white as you seem to think it is here. You'll learn this in life. Not everyone is all bad or all good. Alch's sister is certainly not perfect but nor is Alch.

 

It's no minor thing in life when a helping hand is extended. Maybe it's not always in the form we want that help but maybe when we need help the most we're not in a position to know what kind of help would be best for us.

 

I'm quite sure her sister isn't stupid and knows that Alch won't be perfect. But why should she tell her right off the bat that she expects her to fail. That she accepts that she won't be able to live up to the conditions. Wouldn't that be kind of stupid?

 

And that whole "don't be emotional thing" I'm SURE you're twisting it. I don't think you have a clue what the sister meant by that. I really don't.

 

So let me get this straight: In your mind, Alch is better off just continuing on doing what she's doing and not taking her sister's help?

 

Uh...yeah...that'll work.

[the_alchemyst]

Thanks again for the replies, everyone.

 

I wonder how you could let your sister know some of these fears?

 

I wonder if you could tell her you don't want to set yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic goals, and ask her to help you out with this aspect of her plan.

 

I wonder if I can, too. I think it would be significantly difficult, though, considering the type of personality she has. But I suppose I could try.

 

Although, I wonder how much good that will even do. I mean, even if she knows and understands that I'm really frightened by the thought of failing yet again, and this time disappointing not only myself, will it make a difference in how I feel?

 

In truth, sometimes I feel like living the way I live is the only way for me to not suffer any more disappointment. Most of the time I have no expectations for myself, and the few that I do, disappear all too quickly.

 

Maybe I'm just comfortable living in my own self-defeat. I don't know.

 

I feel like I don't want to be this way--that maybe there is something better for me out there because I'm sure it's not here, but as all else, I also feel like even if there is, it won't end up being mine, anyway.

 

I went to a therapist for a few weeks, but it wasn't working for me, so I stopped going, and I'm not all that interested in trying another one again.

 

I only want to know how you reacted with HER. Did you answer her? Did you tell her why it was a mess? Or did you tell her it was none of her business? Did you respond with anger and annoyance or did you acknowledge that it was a mess...I mean how did you react to her criticisms?

 

I think the fact that she said she would take the cakes away if you cried is very revealing. Did she say it with a smile? Was she joking? (I hope so!)

 

Oh certainly, I told her it was messy because I had been really busy and hadn't really gotten around to it. When she came in, I started to pick up a little . . . Just getting most of the stuff out of the way, you know?

 

I wasn't annoyed or angry or anything; more like embarrassed. I think I sound apologetic, if anything.

 

And no, she didn't smile when she said that. I think she was kidding, though. She just kind of shook her head afterwards.

 

As I said before, sometimes it's really hard for me to translate what she's trying to tell me with her gestures and undertones.

 

I'm just really scared of making a decision, and I don't think I should be. I always thought I'd be all happy and everything if I ever received an offer like this, and I am, partly, but I'm also scared.

 

I wonder if that's because of the fears I stated before. It might be...

[Touche]

First of all, forget "gestures and undertones", Alch. It's what she DOES that counts. Don't you think so?

 

At first I thought she was single since she was ready to help so quickly. But the woman is married with a husband and STILL is willing to upset and yes, it's an upset of sorts, her household. She's willing to give up her privacy. She is willing to give up some of her income for YOU.

 

So who cares about trying to "translate" her "gestures and undertones." Who cares?

 

You should be focusing on her ACTIONS. She's not just talking the talk of someone who cares...she's walking the walk.

 

Let's focus on THAT, ok?

 

And I think she has a dry humor if she just shook her head but didn't smile when she made her remark about not crying. Can't you see that? I mean she is being really nice to you. Why are you trying to find fault? You're not even buying into those who say she's an emotional abuser. So you know better, Alch.

 

It's ok, to be scared about making this decision. You know what? EVERY big decision in life is kind of scary. Every turning point is a "growing pain" of sorts. And this one might just that for you. A growing pain. Time to grow a little.

 

Let me think if I can name some of mine over the last 40 something years. These were all real questions in my life. Real fears. And I had to make a decision one way or another for all of these life questions. Some were the right ones and some weren't. But I did grow with every one of the experiences I had as a result of my decisions.

 

Should I sleep with him? Am I ready?

Should I drop out of school and work or stay in school?

Should I move in with him?

Should I take this job?

Should I move out?

Move back in with the parents or stay with a bad boyfriend?

I was raped...do I keep the baby or have an abortion?

Is this man too old for me?

Is this man being abusive or am I provoking him?

Should I stay with him?

Should I marry him?

Should I divorce him?

Is it too soon to get married again?

Should I sell the house where we were married and had our son to put us in a better financial position or should we stay here..in the house we've always had together?

Do I let my son make his own mistakes or do I stop him before he does?

Am I too over-protective a mom or am I too permissive? What do I do? How can one know how to best raise another human being?

 

Will he hate me when he's older? Or will he think I'm the greatest mother?

 

I could go on for several more pages, Alch.

 

But you get the idea. Life is FULL of fears and of decisions and of the fear in making the wrong decisons.

 

And you know what? A turtle never gets anywhere unless he sticks his neck out.

 

And we ALL know deep down what the RIGHT thing is to do...the right thing for us.

 

So many things about you give away the fact that you already know the RIGHT way to go. You already know that you need to strike a healthier balance between what you WANT to do and what you know you SHOULD do.

 

It doesn't have to be all one or the other you know.

 

I have confidence that you will be able to strike that balance in your life eventually.

[burning 4 revenge]

I know this has been said several time already, but it bears repeating, this his her sister who's also young and has her own family who's willing to support her financially and even send her to school and I happen to know she's not rich.

 

I get the feeling that some of her comments are her harsh style of expressing herself that she learned from her mother and some of it may even be a confrontational style of humor. My cousin Lisette is like that. Sometimes Alch seems a little too sensitive I think.

 

That being said your writing touches me as always Alch, you're such a smart girl and you have so much potential and I wouldn't encourage you to go with your sister if I didn't think it's the right thing to do.

[magichands]

That being said your writing touches me as always Alch, you're such a smart girl and you have so much potential and I wouldn't encourage you to go with your sister if I didn't think it's the right thing to do.

That's beautiful. Really.

[lonelybird]

the_alchemyst

 

Agree with most posters here. I sense you are a very talented girl, so maybe your sensitiveness come from it? Your sister love you very much, not many sisters would like to do the things she do for you.

 

I kinda understand the failure feeling you have. that was how I felt when I was your age. but you are not destined for failure. on the contrary you are destined for happyness, fullfillness, joy.... The familiar things make you feel safe at the moment, but they don't have to be good things. from your post you seem fear new things (constructive thing) and what are out there besides those familiar things. The best medicine to conquer fear is facing it, a little by little. little things like fear of saying no. if keep practicing, it is easier everytime. Do you know successful people expecienced much failures than common people? The only difference is these successful people keep trying in spite of failure, because failure is the best lesson. but failure cannot difine a person who she is. failure is a step to learn. and outside things cannot define who you are, what your experienced cannot define who you are, only God can. and you are God's beloved child.

 

I feel you have many negative thoughts in your mind, but you cannot get rid of them, but you can replace them with the positive ones. and positive thought will lead you to a successful life.

 

I really think this will help you, just let you know, if you don't trust on yourself, would you please trust on God? you can fail sometime, but God never will. He has a good plan for you.

[lonelybird]

It amazes me to no end seeing how so many people see nothing wrong with her sister letting her sleep outside 1st time she is later than the curfew, and throwing her out on the street the 2nd time. Wow, so loving and helping.

 

Let's take some of the other ridiculous demands :

 

- Straight A's right of the bat. Right, it's not that you're not smart enough alch because I think you are, but anyone that hasn't really studied for a long period needs time readjusting to it noone can go from not reading anything for 2 years to straight as/bs in an instant.

 

- Cut smoking right off. Everyone that has quit smoking or tried to knows how hard it is, and very few manage to quit cold from the first time. With all the stress she's having that's almost impossible.

 

- my favorite : don't be "emotional" - wow, really, you have someone with low self esteem, depression, hurt from love and you want to help by demanding feelings/emotions aren't talked about but kept in. Yep that's gonna be a winner

 

Also she pretty much won't be treated as a person, not allowed to have opinions just bow the head and obey.

 

To sum it up, she is demanding that alchemyst changes completely in an instant or she'll kick her out. How the hell do you expect to help someone with so many problems when you're not allowing for mistakes to happen along the process??

 

I mean is she expected to flip a switch and in a second get rid of all the issues and don't make a single mistake? That's not unreasonable, that's impossible.

Cardplay3r

Seems you try to help her. but you shut down every chance, yes, maybe you can avoid hurt, but you also miss chance for healing and love again. you are seeing the world through your distorting mirror. nobody is perfect, one person can be both loving and hurting people.

[CardPlay3r]

So she is supposed to gamble everything on her sister giving leeway on mistakes when that doesn't seem to be in her character.

 

Again, it is not possible for anyone to get straight A's after they hadn't studied a long time, not possible for anyone to quit alcohol drugs and smoke in an instant.

 

So what then? Can she risk being out on the streets if her sister stays true to her words? There is nothing left after that if she becomes homeless.

 

Furthermore, I believe someone with alch's personality - emotional etc. can only be harmed by that breed of toughness. It will make it worse not better

[Trialbyfire]

So she is supposed to gamble everything on her sister giving leeway on mistakes when that doesn't seem to be in her character.

 

Again, it is not possible for anyone to get straight A's after they hadn't studied a long time, not possible for anyone to quit alcohol drugs and smoke in an instant.

 

So what then? Can she risk being out on the streets if her sister stays true to her words? There is nothing left after that if she becomes homeless.

 

Furthermore, I believe someone with alch's personality - emotional etc. can only be harmed by that breed of toughness. It will make it worse not better

I'm not certain it's fair to either one of them to expect leeway as it's progressing. If they have a previous discussion about the issues at hand and redefine more acceptable boundaries, maybe there's a way to find a happy medium before it becomes a build-up and blow up situation.

[MoonGirl]

Alch, these are your quotes:"My sister is a nazi."“I'm scared"

“She's such a cold person"

“It will be like dealing with a whole new different type of loneliness"

"my sister is crazy”

“she answered telling me it was obvious, and that if I didn't get it I was stupid"

Your sister is abusive (verbally and emotionally), and I think living with her would be like living in hell. Why would you even consider it?

 

Quote from MarkB,

“You should go. If men your age have to go face Sunni bullets and Shiite knives to improve their lives I think you can deal with your sister for a year"

I just can’t but help ask: are you serious??? My husband used to spew this crap to me right after he beat me. Look, this girl didn’t sign up for boot camp or war. This is her life, not a dress rehearsal. Why should she submit herself to the will of her “nazi” sister? There are so many other ways she can be successful in life without having to depend on someone who is likely to abuse her.

 

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH CardPlay3r:

“Well I think you might as well be setting yourself up for some emotional abuse if you stay with her. I mean, already she's telling you you are not allowed to have your friends?? Sorry but wacko comes to mind thinking of your sister”

[And I agree with blind_otter:“Tough love isn't about controlling what another person does, and it never should be. I know tough love, I've received it many times.” Tough love is about open and honest communication, not ultimatums.

 

TOUCHE: “I think you're not giving the sister ENOUGH credit. Even, Alch said that once she wrote it all out, it didn't seem that bad a deal.”

It’s about control. Alch is not a child, and if her sister wants to help her, fine. But her sister’s motives are unclear, and it sounds like living with her sister is more likely than not going to worsen Alch’s life instead of improve it. Touche, have you ever been abused? Controlled? Forced to do things you don’t want to do? Alch doesn’t seem close with her sister, is afraid of her, and thinks of her as a nazi. Why in the world do you think that Alch moving in with her sister sounds like a good idea? Alch can learn how to take control of her own life on her own, without her sister’s conditional help. Alch needs to take responsibility for herself, her addictions, and her own life.

STORYRIDER: “What do you think her sister's motivation is? To have someone to abuse?”I think abusers rarely know what their motivation in life is. They may abuse because they enjoy feeling superior and making others feel inferior. Most abusers don’t understand (or consider, or care about) the long-term effects of their behavior and most often do not see themselves as an abuser. My husband enjoyed punishing me. He loved to play judge and dish out rulings (not in my favor). In one instance, he even compared himself to Jesus, insisting that he had provided me with all the knowledge I needed to live my life justly and that all of my successes in life were due to his support and teachings. Those of you who have never been abused…you will never understand what it is like and you will never understand the long-term consequences. I think if there is even a chance that Alch thinks her sister will abuse her, she should not live with her. Her parents have done enough damage, why prolong the experience with her sister?

 

Alch,

PLEASE read some books by Patricia Evens regarding verbal/emotional abuse. THINK about what you may be subjecting yourself to. I have experienced YEARS of emotional abuse, and it is not any fun at all. I doubt the pros of living with your sister outweigh the cons. There are SO MANY social programs for young gals in your position. PM me and I can help you with some resources. You can get through school on your own and lead a successful INDEPENDENT life that you choose for yourself.

 

As for your addictions, you’ll have to take care of those if you want a happy and productive life. Stop medicating yourself and see a DOCTOR. You are probably suffering from depression and there are several effective treatments. If you are depressed, doing drugs is only going to make your depression worse. Again, there are many programs that can help you obtain the support you need to live your life addiction-free.

 

I think moving in with your sister will only send you into another downward spiral and possibly lead to you doing even more drugs.

That's just my take on things.

[MoonGirl]

Furthermore, I believe someone with alch's personality - emotional etc. can only be harmed by that breed of toughness. It will make it worse not better

 

Totally agreed. Alch needs some kindness in her life. There are many social programs available to help her.

[Storyrider]

Alch, these are your quotes:"My sister is a nazi."“I'm scared"

“She's such a cold person"

“It will be like dealing with a whole new different type of loneliness"

"my sister is crazy”

“she answered telling me it was obvious, and that if I didn't get it I was stupid"

Your sister is abusive (verbally and emotionally), and I think living with her would be like living in hell. Why would you even consider it?

 

This was written in a hyperbolic, expressive, dramatic spirit. It is about Alch's feeling more than her sister's behavior. You're reading it as if it were literal.

 

She admits later on this thread that she knows her sister loves her and that she is not an abuser.

[magichands]

This was written in a hyperbolic, expressive, dramatic spirit. It is about Alch's feeling more than her sister's behavior. You're reading it as if it were literal.

 

She admits later on this thread that she knows her sister loves her and that she is not an abuser.

Agreed. There is more than an ounce of "projection" sprinkled over this thread. This is her sister, not some monster.

 

Although the cookie monster was kind of cute.