Russian_donkey Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Ok, I'll try to make this "long story" short. I have known X (makes it easier than saying "her" or "that lass", sorry) since I was 8, and when we were 13 we went out for 6 months or so. It was a disaster, we barely talked and were both too shy to do anything "couply". Time went on, and I got into a realationship with Y when I was 14, which lasted until about 2 weeks ago. (3 years or so). Meanwhile, X has been going out with Z for 6 months. Ok the scene has been set. A week before my breakup with Y, I was over at X's house, and we got drunk, ended up fooling around, but nothing serious, although i DID tell her that I still loved her, and she said likewise. Throughout my time with Y, X had made her feelings clear about me, until she got with Z. It was only after I finished with Y (for, understandibly, trust issues among others) I started to realise just how much I loved X, and it was really weird because it was a realisation not just that I do now, but that I have done for a long, long time, and just never paid attention. I talked to her about this, she said she felt the same way but she also felt like this about Z, and needed time to work out what to do. I said "fair enough, take as long as you like" and left her to it. She said she wanted us to be together but to wait for a more.. convenient time (I'm going away to university after summer) and... it hurt, but I said ok. One night not long after i sent her a big huge long ranty email, spilling my guts and explaining exactly how i feel. then i get a text from X saying she read my email, and she realsied (after a chat with her mum) that she wants to be with me, but wanted to break off slowly with Z. Again, i agreed, and I was so happy it was untrue. Then, another text 2 nights later, telling me she had just finished with him, "cold turkey" style. I was as supportive as I could be, and later that night over MSN she told me she had changed her mind (already) and couldnt be without Z. I asked her to wait, to take some time and not to rush to a decision, which she agreed to. Z turned up unannounced at her home, and literally would not leave until X agreed to take him back. x described it to me as she was "emotionally drained" and just gave in to him. She emailed me to that effect, also saying she was scared about us making the jump from friend to couple, but that doubtlessly, it would happen, when the time is right. I accepted her decision, but inside i was heartbroken. Like, REALLY heartbroken. Real hollywood style. That was about a week ago. Since then I'm getting more and more worried that she is being sucked into a relationship that she doesnt want. She keeps badmouthing him, and says that Z said he would have a breakdown if X wouldnt take him back. Then last night she came over, with a couple of our mutual friends, and we got talking, and kissing. From what I can tell, she would rather be with me, but is remaining in a relationship for the wrong reasons. So after all that, WHAT DO I DO? This whole thing is driving me a bit nuts, and I love her more than i have loved before, and I don't know what I would do without her. I get the feeling that if I do wait for her I risk her becoming seriously involved with Z and not being able to break it off (again) when we do get this fabled "chance". I also fear if I put myself in a half-hearted relationship - I too will miss my chance with her. Sorry about the spraff. It's very confusing, and any advice you have is apreciated. Even if it IS "go live in a cave and eat squirrels" Phew. Deep breath. Thanks for getting this far guys Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Okay, you may have to compress a little more to get folks to read your post all the way through and frankly .. I found X, Y Z hard to keep track of - names are good (even fake ones) cos you can see if you're referring to male or female ect... anyhooo.... ...., she said she felt the same way but she also felt like this about Z, and needed time to work out what to do..... The object of your desire has not made up her mind , she likes Z she likes you, she's getting whiplash trying to decide and there is no point on being on tender hooks while she does... She said she wanted us to be together but to wait for a more.. convenient time (I'm going away to university after summer) . .... You've been in the background since you were both kiddies and you are at the very most her "fall back guy" , her "love backup". You might not like the sound of that but that's what you are. She figures you'll wait. Since you're off to Uni soon that might not be such a bad idea... she wants to be with me, but wanted to break off slowly with Z. Your beloved may be a little young to know that you don't break-up "slowly" that's like pulling off a bandaid in slow motion, only quadruples the pain... still its her journey and her story. I get the feeling that if I do wait for her I risk her becoming seriously involved with Z and not being able to break it off That is her choice - you cannot control what she may or not be able to do in the future. One day you'll meet a woman that will know what she wants and what she wants will be you. In the meantime try and remember a few things ... (trust me it will save you a LOT of pain in the future...) This whole thing is driving me a bit nuts Learn now and avoid pain later 1: Nuts is what it feels like to play second fiddle. Never play second fiddle. last night she came over, with a couple of our mutual friends, and we got talking, and kissing. From what I can tell, she would rather be with me, but is remaining in a relationship for the wrong reasons. Learn now and avoid pain later 2: Someone that makes out with one guy while not having broken up with another is probably not worth waiting for ... So after all that, WHAT DO I DO? Go to away to school, stay friends meet new people .... LIVE - you will anyway... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Russian_donkey Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 Cheers for that - certainly puts things in perspective for me. Guess I will just have to see what happens! Sorry bout the awkwardness of the post. Not used to things like this thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
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