I'm the good guy here, all of our friends think so, but she still likes the cheater..

[Mr.TaterSalad]

I am ame of course and she is my friend Jessica.

 

First off let me start by saying that we've known eachother for 6+ years now, since High School. We've been friends bassicaly this whole time, and really good friends these last two years.

 

Well about 6 months ago after haging with her throughout the summer I truly realized how much fun she is and how we have a lot of things in common. I realized that simply walking around town or going to a concert or simply chatting it up about all the things we like ala similar tastes in music, movies, chocolates, sports, activies, etc... was a total blast. And we do have lots of things in common, I could nearly make a list to the moon of what we both like. Nor do we have personalites IMO that would clash. Sure she's a very attractive girl but I knew that when I met her, I found myself liking her because of the fun, the total blast we had over the summer.

 

I kept my feelings to myself for a while after realizing I liked her in that way. I then started telling some of the friends(a lot of our friends, I'd say 6 or 7 are mutal) we have that know both of us, well some kinda figured it out on their own but some I had to tell. Anyways, the more people that found out agreed with me wholeheartedly, that we'd make a perfect couple because of all we have in common. However, there is where the wrench gets thrown in.

 

I like her, others think we'd make a great couple, but she doesn't like me back. She a true goodie-goodie and I mean goodie, no smoke, sex, drink, etc..But she likes another guy. A guy who already cheated on her freshmen year in high school. A guy, Steve, who cheated on most every girlfriend he had in HS. Steve's now in jail for having sex with a 15 year old senoir year and the girls parents had him locked up. But that's another story.

 

Anyways, my girl, the goodie, likes him, why IDK? She's been cheated on by two different BF's, one Steve and another gy another time. She says though that hSteve wouldn't cheat on her again because jail is going chage him. She believes that by talking to him a few times and the letters he wrote her and such from jail. She's changed her story though too saying first it was 7th grade he cheated and then she came put and said the truth and admitted it was 9th grade.

 

So I wonder...Do you think she's being naive about all this? Is he bound to cheat on her again? Is he jsut using her because she's the only girl he sey's and hears from otehr then his mother whilst in jail? And is there anyway I can get her to see that she deaserves so much better then him or is she going to have to learn the hardway?

 

Because me and our group of friends, including ole cheats best friend Dan thinks it's too deeply seeded in his nature and he is bound to cheat again. Dan even said that Steve isn't taking to well to the abscence of pussy in jail if that means anything. Because I know Jessica wouldn't give it to him right away!

 

Your thoughts are much appriciated!

[sb129]

Is this for real?

 

Hes locked up. Therefore no threat to you.

[Yamaha]

It doesn't matter if he cheated on her and 50 other women, if she doesn't like you sexually there is nothing you can do to change her mind. If you can't change you feelings or accept that you will only be a friend with her then you need to step away from your friendship. It is a hard reality that not everyone who we like will like us in return. You could be the greatest guy on the planet but that doesn't change her feeling for you.

If I was you I would just ween yourself off of her and look for love from another gal. It really is the best way for you as well as her.

[Kamille]

She might be naive about him, but if there is one thing I have learned from my own experience and my friends around me (guy or girl) is that as long as someone is into somebody else as much as she is into him, they will happily ignore all the red flags and believe that they are the exception.

 

She feels she has something to live with this other guy (who really doesn't sound like a catch at all IMO) and until she does it and gets burned, nothing anyone can say will dismantle the barrage of illusions she needs to believe to make him worth her while.

 

So, now you. Sorry. there is nothing you can do but accept it and take care of yourself. Perhaps the question could be deflected to you: why are you hanging on to somebody who isn't into you? You cannot make her change her mind. Now there probably is some fun-loving girl somewhere pining over you and wondering why you are so into Jess, a girl who is so into a guy in jail.

 

You go ahead and find that other girl.