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David Vs. Goliath


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Hello,

 

It's been a little over 5 weeks since my ex-girlfriend dumped me. I'm currenlty on day 7 of NC and it's been a battle. I know NC is meant to heal and move on and to improve yourself but some or most of us have that hope that the ex will miss us and come looking for us after they reailze they made a mistake. I know that doesnt happen for everyone but it sometimes does happen for the very fortunate fews.

 

Me and my Ex stats:

Me: Married once and have 2 daughters from previous marriage who lie in Ca.

Her: Maried once has two daughters that live with her in Las Vegas.

Us: Have a son together and have been with her for 5yrs.

 

My story is that me and my ex live in two different states (I live in Calif. she lives in Las Vegas Nevada) we have a son together and we've been together 5yrs in which 2 of those years I lived in Las vegas but moved back to be with my 2 daughters and the plan was she was going to move a coule of months later, well those 2 months turned into 2yrs and she made excuse after excuse not to move. She has alot of security there, kids, family,school and a great job with the state of nevada. So I understand her choices in not moving and probably ultimately ending things because we are both settled in our careers,kids and family... This really sucks because I know that we love eacother even though she's given me the old cop-out lines "Im not in love anymore" "I need time" which to me is an excuse for the real truth that she just couldnt sacrifice moving here to CA.

 

What makes me mad,sad,hurt and depressed is that she led me on for the 2yrs we've been apart that she was going to move even up till xmas of 2006 when she told me she realized she couldnt live without me much longer and that she loved me more than anything...then 2weeks later she drops the bombshell on me that she is tired, wants to give up and be alone. That it was my fault for not nurturing the long distance relationship and that she wants to concentrate on her career,kids,college and family. To me that was basially cutting me out of the picture.

 

My ex is the old-fashined type of girl, alot of pride,stubborn and expects the man to wait on her hand and foot to please her, make her happy and make her complete... I've stuck with strict NC for a week now and it's geting tough because I want to call her but I know it's not a good idea...

 

After you have read my story and considering my ex and her personality, do you think that complete NC is effective in healing but also giving her time to realize what she's doing???? I'm just afraid that she'll take it as that I didnt love her or try hard enough, she expects me to be the mind reader but then again I dont want to be her safety net either. She said in our last conversation a week ago after telling her that if she wants me gone to please say so and I'll go with my dignity still in tact..she says "Right now I want to be alone"...so since then thats what she has received from me.... What should I do, how should I handle a stubborn and prideful person... how can myself (david) compete with her (goliath)...what is my best options!!!

 

THank you,

 

Mario

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