problem

[Guest]

So I have been dating my gf for almost 2 years now. After about 6 months into our relationship she couldnt afford college anymore and moved home which is 3 hours from me. We decided we would work through this. Well the first night she was back, she went out with some friends. She ended up having a few drinks and kissing 1 of her ex boyfriends there. The next day she cried for hours on the phone with me and i know that she is truly sorry and would never do that again so it took a while but i forgave her.

 

Well I tried to move on but I had a lot of trust issues after this. I had never cheated or been cheated on so I didn't know what to think. Things got better though as she moved back down with me. Well after about 8 months I went on vacation with some of my guy friends. I ended up getting drunk and cheating on her. I came back and told her immediately. Her heart was

completely broken and I promised that I would never do this again. I love this girl and was just a drunken fool. She knew that i was sincere and promised we would make it through this.

 

The past 10 months have been great. I love everything about her. Just recently though she joined the military reserves to get money for college so she go back to school and live with me. I promised myself that I would be faithful and have done so, unless you consider minor flirting cheating. Anyhow, i just went and visited her this weekend after she graduated basic training. The weekend was 1 of the best times i have ever had in my life. The question came up if i had been faithful and I of course told her yes. I promised her before i left that i would be. The problem is that I am holding something back from her.

 

About 6 months ago i was at party with friends and at some point a couple of my buddies left the room and i was alone with my ex. I merely turned to talk to her and she kissed me (we were sitting on the couch beside each other and 2 other friends oringally). I was more shocked than anything because this came out of nowhere. I pulled away but not immediately. It happened so quick that I really don't even know how to explain it. I mean, I was completely stunned when this happened. Now i see this as something very minor and i honestly believe my gf would too because I didnt do anything with it. I never told her though because of everything that had happened and i didnt want to even chance ruining something so great. I wanted to tell her before she left for the military but i didnt want to break her heart before she left, especially when she was doing this all to be with me.

 

This weekend really hurt me because yes, I was faithful while she was gone, but I am still keeping something from her. I couldnt tell her this weekend because she is so emotionally unstable from the military now and so excited to be with me that i couldnt hurt her then. Now, I tell myself that I will tell her when she comes back. But this same situation is going to come up because I wont want to break her heart when she finally gets to come back and be with me. My biggest worry is that if i keep holding this back, when i eventually tell her, holding this from her for this long may really hurt her trust even if it is something very small.

 

I really have no clue what to do. I know that i have to tell her, but I don't want to break her heart because i really love her. My plan is to wait until she is back and everything is calm and tell her but like i said, so much time has passed that i kept it from her that she may not be able to trust me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.