Guest Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I am 30 and a manager at a grocery store. I have a bookkeeper that works for me and she is 20. I am not concerned about the age difference but whenever I am around her I just feel like I am back in high school and have a hard time controling myself, I just want to jump her right there. Sometimes I just have to walk away because I feel myself wanting to touch her in an inappropriate way. We have never done anything and I know she never would and I would never want her to even think about cheating on her husband. She is married and I've been obsessing about this lady for a long time. I rarely find a woman that I want for more than sex (I know I sound like a sexist pig) but I love everything about her. She and I are close friends and everyone at work says that we should have gotten married because we act like we are. She likes me as a friend and she sort of gives me this vibe that if she didn't have a husband she'd be interested in me. I know she has no intention of leaving her husband but I still can't stop thinking about her. I know that she knows that I like her a lot but I don't think she really knows how much I think about her or how I love her. Should I tell her how I feel? If I don't tell her then I feel that I will explode. Thanks for any comments. Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 As long as she's married or not on a break, she is off limits. I know it's hard but try to keep your feelings to yourself and spend less time around her. Find a girl that is single and into you, imo. Lot less headaches and much better results. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 I know that she knows that I like her a lot but I don't think she really knows how much I think about her or how I love her. Should I tell her how I feel? Absolutely NOT! Not only would you be putting her in a very awkward position - what is she supposed to say to you after that? - during the conversation, but you would also be forcing her into an awkward situation just by coming to work and having to be around you after you shared your feelings. That creates a "hostile work environment" that she can well report you to HR for, and you can get fired for sexual harassment. Leave her alone and let it go! Link to post Share on other sites
goingforgold Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 mmm sticky situation to be in. I guess you need to do what you need to do but just remember everything you do (and everything you dont do) has its consequences that you have to face. I once fell for a married man so i know where you are coming from you want that person and would do anything for them just so they can be with you. you might even think you were meant to be together. One think i have learnt in these situations is to turn the tables around and put yourself in her husbands shoes, how would you feel? Morally she is off limits but that has never stopped anyone before. Its so easy for ppl to tell you not to do something but sometimes you just need to do what you need to do even when its not always right. Good luck. I hope things work out for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 There is the right way and the wrong way. You're 30 and you know which way is right. The right way works like this... do nothing at all. You seriously need to date other people so that you can see that you're obsessing over her right now. And the sooner you find someone else, the sooner you will realize how irrationally you're behaving now. Link to post Share on other sites
Dadaal Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 I don't actually agree with others but i would rather ask you to venture into the situation. I know it is hard but you may not have a clue if she is happily married or not. Why carry on your emotions in your heart, let them be heard . She is married but that doesn't mean that she is happily married and that is something you need to find out by yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 I don't actually agree with others but i would rather ask you to venture into the situation. I know it is hard but you may not have a clue if she is happily married or not. Why carry on your emotions in your heart, let them be heard . She is married but that doesn't mean that she is happily married and that is something you need to find out by yourself. It doesn't matter if she is happily married or not. The fact is, she IS married. That puts her off limits. She is not free to have relationships with other people, and HE IS HER BOSS. He cannot make any offers to her - a workplace affair with a girl 10 years younger when he is her boss could ruin his career. Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 I don't actually agree with others but i would rather ask you to venture into the situation. I know it is hard but you may not have a clue if she is happily married or not. Why carry on your emotions in your heart, let them be heard . She is married but that doesn't mean that she is happily married and that is something you need to find out by yourself. This is a lame perspective, being unhappy in a marriage can and does happen from time to time. Throwing yourself into the mix regardless of the wifes disposition is inconsiderate and just plain wrong and will cause lot's of trouble for all parties. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Never put your hand in the Company cookie jar and if she's married, the lid should stay closed regardless if she's unhappy. Legal action can take down your business, if it's a small grocery store. Link to post Share on other sites
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