belfastguy Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Hi peeps... I'm goin' insane here...for the past few years I've developed some serious paranoia about being cheated on. To my knowledge I've never been cheated on by a girlfriend before, but with my ex, and my current girlfriend, I'm constantly worrying about it. Sometimes it really eats at me and I can't get to sleep etc! For example, my girlfriend got a text message from an ex, who she had been friends with for years before etc - one text and nothing else, and now I'm paranoid about her phone...every time she's sending a message I'm worrying. I know my thoughts are generally ridiculous and I don't want to be one of those jealous, controlling boyfriends (she wouldn't take it anyway!!) but I'm friggin exploding inside with paranoia sometimes, and I'm not really sure why. Can anyone offer some advice? Thanks a million. Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Well, keep in mind that if she really wanted to cheat on you there is nothing you could do to prevent it. You can't control it period, like every time you get out of your house there is that small chance that a car will hit you, lightning will strike you or a meteorite landing will give you a free hairdo. But you still go out of the house, right? Same thing here...it's something you can't control, so you just need to trust her Link to post Share on other sites
Author belfastguy Posted February 28, 2007 Author Share Posted February 28, 2007 its just really hard to stop thinking about it...can't find a way to get it out of my head Link to post Share on other sites
Dragon Guitarist Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Know exactly what you are going through. I'm thinking the same about a girl I've been going out with. But have recently realised that my worrrying and paranoia is leading to me to cause problems with the relationship. So I know how difficult it is for you to stop being paranoid but do what I've had to learn to do and try relax over nothing before you cause something to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author belfastguy Posted February 28, 2007 Author Share Posted February 28, 2007 thanks dragon guitarist. i've been feeling like i'm messing things up a little too - luckily she's been fairly understanding and easy-going so far. Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 This type of paranoia usually stems from an insecurity. You need to find out why you feel so insecure that you think your g/f would cheat on you and work on that. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Like someone else said in this post, if your girlfriend does cheat on you then there is nothing you can do to prevent it. I think you need to just try and relax yourself a bit more before you cause problems in your relationship. Next time you feel paranoid maybe just take a deep breath and/or go for a long walk to calm off before you explode with this built up paranoia. Does your girlfriend give you any reason to not trust her? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Also, if there seems to be a lack of commitment or less than 100% commitment to the relationship, people sometimes feel paranoid about losing the individual to another. belfastguy, you've never cheated before or seriously considered it, have you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author belfastguy Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 I've never cheated on anyone and have never seriously considered it. I've no idea where the insecurity is coming from! I guess that it's some kind of inadequacy problem. I'm always scared a friend or stranger is gona steal her from me, for example. Not sure what to do to get my head straight. Thanks for all the replies by the way! Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 belfastguy, dude, I know a friend who's exactly like you. From what he's told me, it's a psychological disorder and he's seeing a psychiatrist. He told me that he knew exactly how ridiculous his thoughts were but he can't put a stop to it, like there ain't an on/off switch in his head. It'll majorly affect your relationship if you don't seek help on this. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 I'm always scared a friend or stranger is gona steal her from me, for example. Do you think your friends are the type of people who would do that? If so should you really consider them as friends? Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Maybe you should seek counseling to fix your issues... Link to post Share on other sites
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