Second chances are a funny thing...

[NorCalDave]

My story is a sad one really. I know there are many others out there in the world who would all be compatible and lovable in terms of a relationship etc. I guess my problem stems from the fact I have tried to get myself back out there, I feel confident and ready to tackle the world, but ultimately I still feel terrible inside. Nothing so far has ended up holding any fruit and I seem to be in a cycle of rejection. This naturally brings me back to the point of thinking of my ex. She was a person who had many faults, was selfish and dishonest and yet I loved her regardless. Since I have no one else in my life at this point, all I have are my memories of the person I gave me heart to do. I only had some anger for my ex for a short while and that was a few months after she left me. My financial situation and so on, took a turn for the worst based on choices I made that we were going to get married. This was the source of my short lived anger, not what she did to me or the manner in which she did it. While I feel a little better, I don't care if I end up in the gutter. I can't stop loving this girl and even as I type this, I'm teary eyed.

 

I'm well aware of the stupid and sad state my life is in. I'm presently re-locating and moving my life to another part of the world. Hopefully my life will become happier there away from where I am currently which is very close to her. I'm a honest, naive and fully trusting person. Despite the fact my ex left me in the coldest manner, never contacted me again, and got married to a person she herself had left and wasn't sure on. The fact is she is married and that is that. This has not stopped my heart from loving her and holding onto the hope that in time we will be together again. I know it's silly to feel this way, but after trying to ignore my inner feelings, they simply will not subside. I won't be contacting her or making any moves in that regard. But my heart and head will not stop thinking of her.

 

 

Man, I feel you completely. It's been about 5 weeks since she left me, and I am really struggling. I wish I had a rebound relationship, someone to take my mind off her, but I can't seem to find anyone I click with or have a sparkling talk with or something....I don't usually have trouble with women, or talking or meeting them, but I can't seem to get close to anyone else. All I want is her back again, because I am tired of seeing her friends come up to me saying "it's too bad she's scared to be with such a great guy"...they're all on MY side! They think we should be together, and anyone who knows how great I treated her empathizes with me...now that she's gone, but still in the same town, it's like I can smell her in the air almost, but can't see her, in the flesh, and I can't even enjoy a sunny day like a normal person because I am wishing she were with me and wondering where she is and what she's doing. I hate it.

I don't like all the dreams I have about making love to her, and the fantasy she has become in my head. I don't know if I'd be able to talk with her in person because I don't think words would come out of my mouth...I would just be in awe to be with the person I've been missing so much.

When she broke up with me a couple years ago the first time, we went on 8 months of no contact after dabbling as friends for a year or so...when we met again after 8 months, and the sparks flew once again, maybe stronger, because all had been forgiven, we jumped right back in for 5 months....then the same issues came up as the first time again, and here I am the lonely one who can't seem to even get a fricking rebound relationship. I know they say it's good to be by yourself, volunteer, heal, NC, etc. but all I do is constantly fight my urges to contact her throughout the day. Sometimes I drive to the mall and get THIS CLOSE to seeing her at her work...but I drive home or go in another store. It's like, she's so close but so far away.

So, I know how you feel.

And I am crazy for saying this, but I want her back again because the only reason we aren't together is she let's her fears get in the way of our love. But deep down I am hoping for another chance with her more than anything in the world.

[loveratud]

There was a time not too long ago when I would count off the days since I last talked to her.

 

Tonight, something reminded me of her and I thought, How long ago was it that we talked? My first reaction was "not long enough."

[Motor35]

Loveratud, this is a great thread! Very well said and I appreciated reading this, thank you.

 

Also, Krying and D-Lish, great posts. I believe I am at the same stage as Krying. Even though I know he treated me poorly, I still can't get him off my mind and question everything I did.

 

LS has helped me so much over the past couple of months. Thank you to everyone that is willing to share their stories and are so generous with their advice.